{"id":5749,"date":"2011-04-16T20:02:58","date_gmt":"2011-04-17T04:02:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=5749"},"modified":"2014-11-03T11:54:18","modified_gmt":"2014-11-03T19:54:18","slug":"suffering-comes-from-your-perception-yep-its-your-fault","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/suffering-comes-from-your-perception-yep-its-your-fault\/","title":{"rendered":"Suffering Comes From YOUR Perception (Yep, it&#8217;s your fault!)"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/shutterstock_55578685.jpg\"><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Which one of these statements do you believe in?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cAn eye for an eye\u201d or \u201cLive and let live\u201d?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>No matter how you answered, your response was based on your belief system. Yet, if I asked 20 people, they wouldn\u2019t all answer the same because they have different beliefs and filters through which they see things.<\/p>\n<p>Your biggest source of pain comes from not seeing how limiting your beliefs can be. Believing <em>what you feel<\/em> to be based on \u201cfacts,\u201d is a lie.\u00a0 What you feel is based on your <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">perception <\/span>of the facts.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Suffering <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">never<\/span> comes from the facts themselves, it comes from your <em>perception<\/em> of the facts; it&#8217;s the meaning you place on what YOU are processing in that moment.<!--more--><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Your brain receives data from your five senses. Your mind then process the data and applies meaning based on your belief system, which you&#8217;ve spent years building (though probably not intentionally).\u00a0 This belief system is what I refer to when I use the word \u201cfilter.\u201d Your mind uses these ego-created filters to create your perception of the world &#8212; creating your reality; they\u2019re unique to you and part of your personality.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The first step in thinking<em> outrageously<\/em> starts with being aware of your unique filter.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Remember, the main thing that makes up YOUR reality is YOUR perception. How you feel about your reality is your own doing.<br \/>\n<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Trying to convince someone they didn\u2019t see hear or feel what they <em>believe<\/em> they did is about as effective as holding a horse\u2019s head under water to make it drink.\u00a0 When you <em>believe<\/em> this one thing to be true, you will feel <strong><em>outrageous<\/em>!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>No one can <em>make you<\/em> think, feel, or see anything; you\u2019re the one inflicting pain upon yourself as this story will illuminate&#8230;.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Two college girls were best friends and ate together every Friday night, without fail.\u00a0 However, one weekend, Sally told Jen she wasn\u2019t feeling well and wanted to skip dinner. Thinking nothing of it Jen said \u201cno big\u201d and later that night, decided to just grab some carryout from their favorite place.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">When she got there, Jen was shocked to see Sally eating dinner with another girl \u2013 she couldn\u2019t believe her eyes. Anxious to get out of there before Sally saw her, with tears burning in her eyes, she practically ran out of the restaurant.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">All weekend, Jennifer kept playing the scene over and over, filled with betrayal and hurt. Finally, she came to the conclusion Sally had outgrown the friendship. Devastated, Jennifer barely slept all weekend, thinking how she would confront Sally on Monday and wondering what would happen to their friendship.<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">Monday came, but before Jen could bring it up, Sally told her that her sister who lived in Europe surprised her Friday night on her layover back to London. She lamented that she was so happy to see her sister, but so sick, she didn\u2019t enjoy it.<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Can you imagine Jennifer\u2019s relief?\u00a0 Can you also see how she suffered needlessly? <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>When she saw Sally on Friday, Jen didn\u2019t just process the facts, she placed meaning on them, seeing rejection and potential abandonment.\u00a0 Once the facts were made clear to Jen, she then placed NEW meaning on the situation which made her feel better.<\/p>\n<p>T<strong>he <em>outrageous<\/em> part is that SHE controlled the meaning the entire time! And&#8230; So. Do. You.<\/strong><br \/>\n<em> <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>How many times have you jumped to the wrong conclusion?\u00a0 How many hours, days, or years have you suffered? <\/em><\/p>\n<h3><strong>When you waste time believing your own BS, you diminish your power. <\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Every point in your life is a chance for growth \u2013 find the growth from all your emotions, even if it\u2019s painful.\u00a0 Accept the emotion without judgment. Just by being aware of how you\u2019re feeling, your resistance will fade and your pain will recede.<\/p>\n<p>By realizing the other person who \u201churt\u201d you (even if it felt like a more direct attack) is just caught up in <em>their story<\/em>, you reduce the emotional charge you have to their actions.\u00a0 If you <em>really<\/em> start thinking<strong><em> outrageously<\/em><\/strong>, you will also see how they served you by helping you with an important life lesson. Sometimes your biggest growth comes from situations in where someone you love forces you to face something within which you&#8217;re avoiding.<\/p>\n<p><em>With awareness, gratitude will come because you know the truth.\u00a0 You control how much you let the \u201cfacts\u201d control you. Gratitude comes when you realize you have the power to feel any way you want to; in gratitude there can be no fear and you will feel free. <\/em>(It\u2019s <em><strong>outrageous<\/strong> <\/em>when start to see this!)<\/p>\n<p><strong>The next time you find yourself angry or hurt by someone else&#8217;s actions, consider the following questions. For fun, take YOU out of the equation; don\u2019t make it about you, and put their shoes on. <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">1. What could they have been seeing in the situation from their perspective?<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">2. Could their behavior be coming from a place where someone told them they weren\u2019t good enough when they were a child?<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">3. Can you see or feel the hurt child in them? Are they just seeking love, no matter if you agree with your tactics?<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">4. What if the other person was your child, what meaning would you tell your child to put on the hurt?<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">5. And most importantly, what did you learn from the experience?<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 30px;\">6. Did you reinforce a limiting belief, feeding your story, keeping you from growth?<\/p>\n<p>Think about it\u2026<strong><em>outrageously<\/em><\/strong> of course.<\/p>\n<p><img class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-5762\" title=\"loritaylor\" alt=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/loritaylor.png\" width=\"134\" height=\"128\" \/><em>This post is part of our new <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/category\/outrageous\/\">30 Days To Outrageous Thinking<\/a> \u2013 it&#8217;s sponsored by PickTheBrain and created by the co-creator of the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/category\/90-days\/\">90 Days Confidence Booster<\/a>, Lori Taylor. <\/em><br \/>\n<em>If you&#8217;re tired of wasting time trying to change YOU and all the people in your life, join us on our journey by signing up and we&#8217;ll be happy to include you. Lori&#8217;s style is very direct and unique \u2013 we can promise you it&#8217;s unlike anything you&#8217;ve ever tried!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your biggest source of pain comes from not seeing how limiting your beliefs can be. Believing what you feel to be based on \u201cfacts,\u201d is a lie.  What you feel is based on your perception of the facts. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/suffering-comes-from-your-perception-yep-its-your-fault\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":6283,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1271,6],"tags":[463,4641,947,4629,1322],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Suffering Comes From YOUR Perception (Yep, it&#039;s your fault!)<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Suffering never comes from the facts themselves, it comes from your perception of the facts; it&#039;s the meaning you place on what YOU are processing in that moment.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/suffering-comes-from-your-perception-yep-its-your-fault\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Suffering Comes From YOUR Perception (Yep, it&#039;s your fault!)\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Suffering never comes from the facts themselves, it comes from your perception of the facts; 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