{"id":5635,"date":"2011-03-01T22:56:09","date_gmt":"2011-03-02T06:56:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=5635"},"modified":"2013-09-05T09:46:03","modified_gmt":"2013-09-05T17:46:03","slug":"stop-saying-i-cant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/stop-saying-i-cant\/","title":{"rendered":"Stop Saying &#8220;I Can&#8217;t&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p><a href=\"http:\/\/3.bp.blogspot.com\/_PLjNWOu-Zn0\/S8SLuQNzGbI\/AAAAAAAABVw\/5bLYs4UzNi8\/s1600\/can-t-fail-cafe-.jpg\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Do you ever find yourself saying &#8220;I can&#8217;t&#8221;? Sometimes, it&#8217;s perfectly reasonable: <em>I can&#8217;t drive<\/em> is simply a statement of fact, if you haven&#8217;t yet passed your test.<\/p>\n<p>But often, <em>I can&#8217;t<\/em> is loaded down with self-judgment:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I can&#8217;t draw.<\/li>\n<li>I can&#8217;t sing.<\/li>\n<li>I just can&#8217;t stay organized.<\/li>\n<li>I can&#8217;t ever get it right.<\/li>\n<li>I can&#8217;t lose weight.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>How often do you say &#8220;I can&#8217;t&#8221; when it&#8217;s, at best, a half-truth?<\/strong> Maybe you really think that you can&#8217;t draw \u2013 but is that just because you&#8217;ve never actually tried? And if you can&#8217;t get organized, or quit smoking, or lose weight &#8230; do you really mean that you <em>won&#8217;t<\/em>?<!--more--><\/p>\n<h2>&#8220;Can&#8217;t&#8221; Saps Your Power<\/h2>\n<p>Whenever you say you <em>can&#8217;t<\/em> do something, you&#8217;re reinforcing that message in your mind. For years, I told myself that I couldn&#8217;t draw. I&#8217;d never really done any drawing \u2013 apart from a few compulsory lessons in school \u2013 but I knew I was no good. I couldn&#8217;t draw people. I couldn&#8217;t draw still-life arrangements. I couldn&#8217;t draw <em>anything<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Then I picked up a copy of Betty Edwards&#8217; <em>Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain<\/em> and realized that the only reason I couldn&#8217;t draw was because I&#8217;d never tried to learn. I had a go at some of the exercises in the book, and pretty quickly found that <em>I just didn&#8217;t like drawing<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s okay! <strong>It&#8217;s fine to not <em>want<\/em> to do something. But it&#8217;s important to acknowledge that, if you wanted to, you could.<\/strong> If I really wanted to learn to draw, I could finish the book, or go to a class, or spend an hour or two every day with a pencil in my hand.<\/p>\n<h2>Changing that &#8220;Can&#8217;t&#8221;<\/h2>\n<p>If there&#8217;s something in your life which you&#8217;d like to do, but which you <em>can&#8217;t<\/em> do, what&#8217;s the &#8220;can&#8217;t&#8221; and what&#8217;s the real reason behind it?<\/p>\n<p>Maybe it&#8217;s one of these, or something similar:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I can&#8217;t quit my job and start working for myself (because I&#8217;m scared that it&#8217;ll all go wrong)<\/li>\n<li>I can&#8217;t lose weight (because I don&#8217;t really <em>want<\/em> to)<\/li>\n<li>I can&#8217;t quit smoking (because I need some help)<\/li>\n<li>I can&#8217;t get organized (because I don&#8217;t take the time to establish a good system)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I know that some of the things that you &#8220;can&#8217;t&#8221; do are big, emotional, tricky problems. You might want to talk to someone \u2013 a trusted friend or relative, or even a professional coach or counselor \u2013 to work through some of these areas.<\/p>\n<p>Usually, though, <strong>it&#8217;s rare that there&#8217;s anything which you really truly can&#8217;t do \u2013 if you put your mind to it.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>To change a &#8220;can&#8217;t&#8221; into a &#8220;can&#8221;, you might need to:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Get more information \u2013 from books, websites or people who you know<\/li>\n<li>Build up your confidence \u2013 by taking small steps<\/li>\n<li>Become more determined \u2013 perhaps by finding a group of like-minded friends (e.g. a slimming club)<\/li>\n<li>Admit that the only thing holding you back is <em>you<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>You&#8217;ve Overcome Lots of &#8220;Can&#8217;t&#8221;s Already<\/h2>\n<p>Once, you couldn&#8217;t do very much at all. You couldn&#8217;t walk, talk, or feed yourself.<\/p>\n<p>Even when you were at school, there were loads of basic things which you couldn&#8217;t do. You couldn&#8217;t cook, or drive, or follow a map.<\/p>\n<p>Throughout your whole life, you&#8217;ve been facing new challenges. Some of those might have been<em> huge<\/em> at the time \u2013 like when you first left home \u2013 but they seem pretty small in retrospect.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s the same with all those things that you can&#8217;t do today. They might seem big and challenging \u2013 almost impossible \u2013 right now, but they&#8217;re not. <strong>Plenty of other people have tackled and conquered the same things (and they started out from just where you are right now).<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>What would you love to do which you think you can&#8217;t manage right now \u2013 and how&#8217;re you going to change that?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t Forget To Follow PickTheBrain of <a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/pickthebrain\">Twitter<\/a>!<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Related Articles:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"..\/words-that-overcome-fear-and-dread\/\">Words That Overcome Fear and Dread<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"..\/words-that-heal-and-empower\/\">Words That Heal and Empower<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you ever find yourself saying &#8220;I can&#8217;t&#8221;? Sometimes, it&#8217;s perfectly reasonable: I can&#8217;t drive is simply a statement of fact, if you haven&#8217;t yet passed your test. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/stop-saying-i-cant\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":13083,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[6],"tags":[259,1224,66,131,4629,4640],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Stop Saying &quot;I Can&#039;t&quot; - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Do you ever find yourself saying &quot;I can&#039;t&quot;? 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