{"id":53537,"date":"2017-11-21T20:47:48","date_gmt":"2017-11-22T04:47:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=53537"},"modified":"2017-11-24T19:29:47","modified_gmt":"2017-11-25T03:29:47","slug":"why-it-took-me-15-years-to-live-my-dreams","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-it-took-me-15-years-to-live-my-dreams\/","title":{"rendered":"Why it Took me 15 Years to Live My Dreams"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

\u2018The goal is to die with memories, not dreams\u2019<\/em>
\n– Unknown<\/p>\n

In 2002, I had a vision while studying at University. Although disinterested in my Politics course, I\u2019d become fascinated by hypnotherapy and personal development. While pondering what to do when I left, and how I had no desire to follow a conventional path, this vision hit me. I saw myself speaking to an audience and inspiring them with my words.<\/p>\n

What followed was a 15-year journey to become a personal development leader.<\/strong> It\u2019s a journey that took many twists and turns. Via the route of becoming a tennis coach and then a hypnotherapist, while overcoming personal problems like insomnia, IBS, chronic shoulder pain, and loneliness, I was finally able to publish my book and embark on my life as an author and speaker.<\/p>\n

Now, I know what you\u2019re thinking.\u00a0Fifteen years is a long time! It\u2019s too much effort, heartache and rejection.<\/p>\n

Furthermore, you might be thinking it won\u2019t take me that long to live my dreams. There\u2019s an easier way and I\u2019m smarter than that.<\/p>\n

And maybe there is and maybe you are. However, what I\u2019m about to share with you applies to any dreamer irrespective of their abilities or the nature of their dream.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a three-stage process you must pass through to live\u00a0your dreams.<\/strong> I want you to understand it. This way, you\u2019ll appreciate why it can take longer than expected and, most importantly, not be discouraged.<\/p>\n

The Hero\u2019s Journey<\/h2>\n

The three-stage process I\u2019m talking about is The Hero\u2019s Journey. It’s creator is the writer Joseph Campbell, who developed this theory while studying ancient mythology. He discovered that there were certain key stages that every adventurer must pass through to achieve their goal.<\/p>\n

Originally numbering 21, for the sake of brevity, I\u2019m going to describe them under their 3 main headings (and use my journey as an example of how they apply). I want you to understand that you too are a potential hero<\/em>. It\u2019s my belief that we all\u00a0have a meaningful contribution to make to\u00a0this world.<\/p>\n

Will you heed yours?<\/p>\n

Stage 1: The Departure \u2013 February 2002 to September 2003<\/h2>\n

The Departure occurs the moment you set out on your quest. It also shines a light on the confusion you may experience.<\/p>\n

In The Departure, the hero has \u2018a calling\u2019 (an idea for a new business, a goal they want to achieve). However, they are\u00a0torn between the excitement of this dream and the comfort of the world they know.<\/p>\n

For me, this occurred in February 2002 with the vision I mentioned at the start. I felt compelled to pursue it and, yet, it seemed impossible to achieve. Much deliberation ensued as my mind wavered between the two options.<\/p>\n

The Hero\u2019s Journey states that when making your Departure, you will face a \u2018Threshold Guardian\u2019 \u2013 an obstacle in the form of a monster or evil being that seeks to prevent your advance. For our times, this will present itself in the form of fearful\/disapproving parents, colleagues, friends, a bank manager refusing to give a loan or a so-called expert warning that your journey will be fraught with hardship, or just plain impossible. Typically, they play on your greatest fears, claiming your quest could leave you broke and lonely.<\/p>\n

Overcoming \u2018Threshold Guardians\u2019 is hard. As you can see from the length of time it took me to embark on my Departure (a full year and a half), their influence can cause a great deal of doubt.<\/p>\n

Part of me accepted the \u2018fact\u2019\u00a0it’s virtually impossible to get a book published. Furthermore, I believed people when they told me I was too young and lacking in life experience. For a while, my fears of what might go wrong were stronger than my desire to explore the possibilities of my \u2018calling\u2019.<\/p>\n

Eventually, I decided that I must stay true to my heart. Rejecting my parent\u2019s pleas to consider a mainstream career in law or the corporate world, I trained, and then began working, as a tennis coach (the first step to me pursuing my greater dream of writing a book and becoming a personal development leader).<\/p>\n

Stage 2: The Initiation: September 2003 \u2013 February 2012<\/h2>\n

This stage is about the trials you\u2019ll experience in seeking to achieve the object of your quest. They\u2019ll test you on three levels \u2013 physical, mental, spiritual \u2013 and the outcome, if passed through successful, will be a change in your consciousness.<\/p>\n

My initiation was twofold. Not only did I need to learn a range of professional skills \u2013 how to coach and hypnotise people, how to write convincingly, how to build rapport, how to cope with failure \u2013 I also had to overcome my personal issues.<\/p>\n

Both Luke Skywalker and Neo experience something similar in Star Wars<\/em> and The Matrix<\/em>. Their mentors \u2013 Yoda and Morpheus \u2013 push them through a series of trials aimed at altering their concept of reality. By mastering The Force and, for Neo, \u2018setting his mind free\u2019, they maximise their potential and develop the belief they can do anything.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s likely that your initiation<\/em> will test you on many levels. You\u2019ll need to develop the discipline to go the extra mile, the leadership qualities to convince others of your ideas and the resilience to overcome adversity. This may sound unappealing. However,\u00a0it\u2019s important to remember that going through these trials is what gives you the strength to rise above your old reality.<\/p>\n

My Initiation took a lot longer than I\u2019d have hoped or anticipated (eight and a half years). This was because I kept looking for an easy way out. I didn\u2019t embrace the necessary hard work and, instead, told myself that I would only work when feeling inspired.<\/p>\n

Eventually, I learned to accept the challenge of The Initiation. I made sure I did a minimum amount of writing<\/em> every single day (1 hour). This was\u00a0irrespective of how motivated I felt.\u00a0Doing so\u00a0enabled me to finish my book and prepared me for the final stage in my journey.<\/p>\n

Stage 3: The Return: February 2012 \u2013 February 2017<\/h2>\n

The Return marks the moment the hero reveals themselves to the world. They make a stand. They say, this is who I am (by launching their product, creation, entering a competition etc) and set out to achieve what they initially intended.<\/p>\n

For me, this occurred when I pressed enter on my laptop and published the first edition of my book on Amazon. It was the 8th February 2012 and I thought I was ready for superstardom.<\/p>\n

What I soon learned, though, was that The Return doesn\u2019t necessarily signify \u2018the end\u2019. I was hoping to sit back, watch the sales role in, live off the royalties and enjoy some speaking opportunities off the back the books success. This didn\u2019t happen and it taught me an important lesson.<\/p>\n

When you make your Return, you may well face even greater failure and rejection than you experienced during The Initiation. You may present yourself or, your project, to the world, and the world may turn around and say, \u2018we\u2019re not interested\u2019.<\/p>\n

But this is ok. It\u2019s what The Initiation has prepared you for. You\u2019ve already been tested to the limit and developed an unbreakable inner strength.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s normal to face inner<\/em> resistance upon making your Return.<\/strong> The Hero\u2019s Journey mentions that the hero will often feel the world cannot understand the new person they\u2019ve become.<\/p>\n

This was certainly the case with me. When I first published my book and launched my website, I was painfully aware that many people would find my point of view controversial.
\nThis held me back. It stopped me promoting myself wholeheartedly. I hoped that people would chance upon my work without me having to make any noise.<\/p>\n

Of course, this didn\u2019t happen.\u00a0Instead,\u00a0I learned I needed to change my approach. Just as Luke Skywalker had to confront Darth Vader, and Neo had to fight Agent Smith, The Return demands that you face your greatest fear. For me, this was speaking my truth.<\/p>\n

To be successful with my book and wider message, I had to get comfortable with bearing my soul to the world. For someone who had previously sought to cut himself off, it was a trying time. However, the more I forced myself out of my comfort zone, the more I realised that people warm to others who aren\u2019t afraid to be themselves.<\/p>\n

Soon, the result came in. The sales of my book increased, the interest in my website grew, I received some fantastic reviews on Amazon and I finally got some speaking gigs.<\/p>\n

15 years after my original vision, I was finally living my dream.<\/p>\n

***** Special Offer to Pick The Brain readers from the author*****<\/strong><\/p>\n

Do you want to learn more about living your own dreams? If so, grab a copy of my FREE course by\u00a0clicking the link\u00a0below. I call it, ‘How to Escape The System’ and it will provide you with the blueprint for breaking free form the 9 to 5, finding your passion and overcoming your fear. It also includes a 30 Day Challenge to get you started.<\/p>\n

How to Escape The System <\/a><\/p>\n

Joe Barnes is creator of the\u00a0Screw The System\u00a0<\/a>website, author of the critically acclaimed\u00a0Escape The System <\/a>and long time contributor to Pick The Brain.\u00a0His mission is to give all Dreamers, Adventurers and Entrepreneurs the inspiration and information necessary to pursue their true calling. He also works as a hypnotherapist and tennis coach.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2018The goal is to die with memories, not dreams\u2019 – Unknown In 2002, I had a vision while studying at University. Although disinterested in my Politics course, I\u2019d become fascinated by hypnotherapy and personal development. While pondering what to do … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1014,"featured_media":53758,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[32,9,5,6],"tags":[5393,592,4467,4631,66,4629],"yoast_head":"\nWhy it Took me 15 Years to Live My Dreams<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Here I outline a three-stage process you must pass through to live\u00a0your dreams. 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