{"id":53373,"date":"2017-11-12T20:30:08","date_gmt":"2017-11-13T04:30:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=53373"},"modified":"2017-11-14T20:13:38","modified_gmt":"2017-11-15T04:13:38","slug":"the-art-of-saying-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/the-art-of-saying-no\/","title":{"rendered":"The Art of Saying NO!"},"content":{"rendered":"
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When is it ok to say NO? It is always ok to say no, and that\u2019s regardless of what is being asked and by whom. I don\u2019t mean saying NO, and then give an explanation as to why your answer was NO. Just saying NO as your response is more than enough. Explaining yourself as an adult is just too much when giving NO for an answer. I would rather a person just go mute, instead of lying about why you can\u2019t accommodate the person\u2019s request. I know, the world is sensitive and being raw and straightforward is frowned upon, but it\u2019s needed to get answer understood. These lies that are being given as explanations as to why you can\u2019t grant their request, are considered \u201clittle white lies\u201d. These \u201clittle white lies\u201d eventually turn into \u201cHUGE white lies\u201d that are hard to keep up with. Even if your explanation is truth, don\u2019t use it as an excuse if your answer would have been no without the explanation. Those little white lies are detrimental to your growth. \u201cThe truth shall set you free.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lying is Comfortable.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Person 1. \u201cDo you think you can help me move out of my current apartment into my new apartment this Saturday?\u201d.<\/p>\n

Person 2. \u201cNo, I\u2019m sorry, but I have to work that day, but I wish I could give you a helping hand.\u201d<\/p>\n

The dialogue between person 1 and 2 is an example of person 2 lying about working on Saturday. Person 2 does not have to work Saturday, and in fact has no plans for that day except one, and that\u2019s not helping person 2 move into their new apartment. Why is lying the first result and so comforting? It\u2019s the first result because person 2 cares more about persons 1 perception of him\/her instead of just telling the truth. \u201cThe truth hurts\u201d, is a very true statement but in fact it not only hurts the receiver but also the giver. Most people don\u2019t want to be labeled mean, an asshole, or selfish. Reputation has always been of greater societal value than character. Character is self-perception and reputation, is society\u2019s perception of you, and of course society wins every time.<\/p>\n

Character<\/strong><\/p>\n

Lying is a character killer that was given to us by our parents\/guardians. We are lying to protect our reputation, even if our intentions aren\u2019t to hurt the person asking. Our brains are made to protect us from harm, hurt, and pain always. Pain is inevitable for growth, and I mean good pain. Good pain is disappointment, heartbreak, failing, and working out. You don\u2019t want good pain to be a constant occurrence, but if it\u2019s out of your hands then you must accept it and keep going. Telling the truth to a friend or family member will have some pain involved mentally. All fear comes from others and our reputation being damaged is at the top of the fear pyramid. Caring how others feel and what they think has become priority over our feelings and thoughts.<\/p>\n

Establishing the NO<\/strong><\/p>\n

You are the most important person in your life, and that\u2019s the case if you have children or a spouse. Always tell the truth and be honest with yourself first and never lie. Telling the truth is liberating and should be a staple in your character. Just try and say NO to something that you don\u2019t want to be part of. If there is an explanation that you choose to give for saying no, make sure it\u2019s \u201cbecause I said no\u201d. I know I know, how can a person be so mean. This is just honesty, and honesty has been coupled with being mean or selfish. Lying has become so prominent that it\u2019s accepted over honesty. Lying is always the first thought and choice when facing an uncomfortable topic.<\/p>\n

Liberation<\/strong><\/p>\n

You can break this terrible habit by adopting a great tool in life. This tool is called \u201cNot giving a f#*k\u201d. This tool is amazing and will grant great liberation to your value of life. Now scream FREEDOM loudly as if you were William Wallace strapped to a table awaiting your decapitation, like the scene from the movie “Braveheart”. Your \u201cnot giving a f#*k\u201d tool is now activated. You will have to practice saying no, with total disregard for the feelings of the person asking. You will place your character on a pedestal and not give a f#*k about your reputation. This tool will cause some damage and you may lose some people from using it, but that comes with growth. The people lost are not your concern and shouldn\u2019t deter you from using your tool for the betterment of yourself. People that respect and genuinely love you will not stray from your honesty. You will feel guilty, but your job isn\u2019t to please everyone, but it\u2019s to please yourself. If you aren\u2019t in great shape mentally and physically, how can you be of any assistance to anyone else. Saying NO is only for things that you don\u2019t want to do, and not to be used maliciously to hurt others purposely.<\/p>\n

Written By: Ronald Anthony Wilson<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When is it ok to say NO? It is always ok to say no, and that\u2019s regardless of what is being asked and by whom. I don\u2019t mean saying NO, and then give an explanation as to why your answer … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12683,"featured_media":53527,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[205,6],"tags":[840,6326,66,4629,6325,5828],"yoast_head":"\nThe Art of Saying NO!<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When is it ok to say NO? 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