{"id":52610,"date":"2017-09-28T20:09:09","date_gmt":"2017-09-29T04:09:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=52610"},"modified":"2017-10-02T20:05:51","modified_gmt":"2017-10-03T04:05:51","slug":"off-the-grid-what-living-without-internet-for-3-years-taught-me-about-living-fully-and-connecting-with-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/off-the-grid-what-living-without-internet-for-3-years-taught-me-about-living-fully-and-connecting-with-people\/","title":{"rendered":"Off The Grid: What Living Without Internet For 3 Years Taught Me about Living Fully and Connecting With People"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/p>\n

Imagine coming home after a grueling day at work. You\u2019re tired, hungry, and all you want to do is pop a frozen meal in the microwave and watch an episode of Narcos.<\/p>\n

Except you can\u2019t. Six months earlier you decided that you weren\u2019t going to pay for Internet so that in situations like these you wouldn\u2019t be boring.<\/p>\n

This is exactly what I did for three years while living in Spain, and it turned out to be one of the most game changing decisions ever. My life took a 180.<\/p>\n

And the best part? You don\u2019t have to get rid of your Internet to learn what I did.<\/p>\n

Insight #1 \u2013 Get over being shy with low stakes small talk<\/strong><\/h1>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>Whenever I used to be out or at an event, I would either whip out my phone and pretend like I\u2019m busy or make a beeline for the food as an excuse not to talk anyone. It didn\u2019t take long before I started noticing this tendency to avoid conversation and decided to do something about it.<\/p>\n

But where to start? What I found was that service people \u2013 baristas, servers and waiters, bartenders, etc., were both unintimidating to talk to and helped give me the momentum and confidence to start conversations with other people.<\/p>\n

Because the stakes were low (it\u2019s totally normal to talk with service people, you can even ask them funny questions or experiment with different conversation topics), I would regularly talk to service people and got more comfortable talking to strangers. This was the biggest \u201chack\u201d that improved my conversations with people and made me a more outgoing person.<\/p>\n

Also, I became friends with a bunch of people who worked in my neighborhood and it was hard to go anywhere <\/em>without having a conversation on the street or someone shouting \u201cHey Ian!\u201d at me through their shop.<\/p>\n

Insight #2 \u2013 Simply spend more time outside the house<\/strong><\/h1>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>In my case, I tried a bunch of new hobbies. It was like throwing darts at a dartboard. I joined sports teams, tried salsa dancing, did yoga, worked out in the park, played chess against old people in public squares, and went to meditation retreats.<\/p>\n

The interesting thing was that I only stuck with one or two of these hobbies, but the friends that I made by going to salsa a few times and playing chess are still my friends to this day. It was like a flywheel; the more time that I spent out my apartment doing things, the more people I would meet, the more friends I would make, and the more I would get invited out again.<\/p>\n

Insight #3 \u2013 How to not be needy<\/strong><\/h1>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>We\u2019ve all known someone who wants to hangout on Tuesday, doesn\u2019t seem to have anything going on Thursday, and also is interested in what you\u2019re up to on Saturday.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be that person.<\/p>\n

When you have no Internet, though, it\u2019s tempting to want to hang out with someone everyday. What else are you going to do?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s often tempting to want to hit everyone up all the time and hang out. There are two awesome ways to handle not coming off as needy.<\/p>\n

The first is to diversify friends. <\/em>Maybe you hang out with your friends from yoga after yoga class, and then with that girl or guy you met at the coffee shop the next night. Maybe you hang out with people from work once or twice a week. Be careful, though, if you find yourself initiating all of the conversations and asking people what they are up to, you might need to take a good look in the mirror.<\/p>\n

The second is to not interview other people<\/em>. Often when we meet people for the first time, it\u2019s easy to ask a ton of questions. Instead, try asking deeper questions about what the other person is interested in and why (always \u201cwhy\u201d or \u201chow come\u201d \u2013 this is key for connecting with people), but balance it out. Share your own opinion and experience so that the conversation isn\u2019t lopsided.<\/p>\n

Insight #4 \u2013 You don\u2019t need to drink or go to clubs to meet people<\/strong><\/h1>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>Whether it\u2019s a romantic interest or just wanting to make friends, it\u2019s easy to use drinking as an outlet to meet people. What I found, though, is that if I was both a) doing interesting things during the day and b) making friendships and relationships doing those things, then I didn\u2019t have to go out meeting girls at bars or making friends at parties.<\/p>\n

In fact, I was able to connect with people in a much deeper way and make lasting relationships. Don\u2019t get me wrong, parties are great and drinking is fun in moderation, but with my entire social life turned inside out, I wasn\u2019t desperate to meet new people in the same old places.<\/p>\n

Instead, it seemed to happen so naturally just by doing awesome things.<\/p>\n

Action Steps<\/strong><\/p>\n