{"id":51968,"date":"2017-10-04T14:09:45","date_gmt":"2017-10-04T22:09:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=51968"},"modified":"2017-10-07T20:07:22","modified_gmt":"2017-10-08T04:07:22","slug":"how-to-stop-preparing-and-start-doing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/how-to-stop-preparing-and-start-doing\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Stop Preparing and Start Doing"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/p>\n

Are you a chronic over-preparer?<\/span><\/p>\n

I am. Really, I <\/span>used to be<\/span><\/em>\u2014but I say \u201cI am\u201d because, as with any addictive behavior, recovery from that persistent feeling of needing to do more is a slow and lifelong process. We don\u2019t decide just once to quit over-preparing; we decide day after day, with each and every presentation, product launch, coaching conversation, and article submission.<\/span><\/p>\n

We decide every single time we have the opportunity to over-prepare. Which means every single time we feel the temptation to return to the familiar. Tweaking the font for the hundredth time before we\u2019ll allow the webpage to go live. Rehearsing and rehashing the stack of index cards on which our talk is written. Researching <\/span>just a bit more<\/span><\/i> before we\u2019ll launch that creation of ours that we already know will help people greatly.<\/span><\/p>\n

Instead of continuing to coddle ourselves with all the non-threatening, non-exposing, low-risk tasks of preparation, we decide enough is enough. This\u2014this thing we\u2019ve created\u2014is enough. <\/span>We<\/span><\/i> are enough.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, how do <\/span>you<\/span><\/i> reach this decision?<\/span><\/p>\n

Well, I can tell you only how <\/span>I<\/span><\/i> reached it for myself (rather, how I \u2018reach\u2019 it on a case-by-case basis\u2014because, as I said before, this work is constant).<\/span><\/p>\n

I make <\/span>experience<\/span><\/i> my objective. Experience over preparation. And I allow the learning that comes from the experience to be just as valuable, just as laudable, as the effects that over-preparing and compulsively polishing something might yield.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, in order to do this, <\/span>I have to value experiential learning first<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have to value my own learning experience\u2014and I have to be willing to share it with transparency\u2014if I\u2019m going to forgo the habit of chronic over-preparation.<\/span><\/p>\n

Because that\u2019s the thing about over-preparation: It serves us insofar as it protects us from on-the-spot learning, and the public failure and shame that might result. It gives us the opportunity (infinite opportunities, if we allow ourselves to be mired in that state of analysis-paralysis) to perfect our thing before we\u2019ll share it. It might be said then, that over-preparation is a symptom of a performance mentality. Of believing it is our job to present ourselves as authorities, as experts, who live somewhere at the far end of the journey, closer to destination than anyplace else.<\/span><\/p>\n

A story from my own life: Back in late August, I decided to host a morning gathering for tea on Facebook Live. It was maybe a few weeks prior that I\u2019d joined Facebook at all (I know, I know\u2014definitely not an early adopter there), so you can imagine just how unfamiliar I was with all aspects of the platform. Well, regardless, I decided I wanted to connect with my readers in a real and meaningful way, so I announced in my Tuesday newsletter a morning gathering for the following Saturday. I knew that if I announced it, I had to do it\u2014whereas, if I waited to announce it until I felt adequately prepared, it might never happen.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now, what I could\u2019ve done was to pick a specific topic to speak about and create some airtight takeaways for the folks who might join me live (you know, to make it \u2018worth it\u2019 for them in exchange for some of their Saturday morning); I could\u2019ve written up an agenda and run the whole thing like a well-oiled meeting; I could\u2019ve gotten myself worked up about being on live camera and, therefore, spent extra time in the mirror with my concealer stick.<\/span><\/p>\n

But, I didn\u2019t. Instead, I made experience my objective. I decided I wanted to learn about Facebook Live by <\/span>doing<\/span><\/i> Facebook Live\u2014no dry-runs or dress rehearsals or obsessing over providing value. I decided I was willing to be an amateur <\/span>at this thing I\u2019d never done before<\/span><\/i>. (You get that, right? I was, in all ways, an amateur at Facebook Live…so, why would I struggle to present myself as anything different?)<\/span><\/p>\n

I carried a pot of tea upstairs to my office, sat in front of my laptop with slightly-damp hair, clicked the \u201cGo Live\u201d button, and had my first ever experience on live video. Five women from my community showed up and I talked with them for 45 minutes. Entirely unscripted, absolutely transparent about being a newbie, and prepared to learn. It was the most exhilarating experience I\u2019ve had in a long time, and I attribute that to being fully present to the opportunity before me\u2014the opportunity to try something for the first time and to share that \u2018first\u2019 with my viewers, in an act of trust and bonding\u2014instead of meeting the opportunity with rigid anticipation and polish, both of which can create some distance.<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe the question you and I (and the other recovering over-preparers out there) need to ask ourselves is: <\/span>Is it my objective to perform this thing, as though it\u2019s fixed, for an audience? Or, am I open to experiencing it as a living, breathing thing, <\/span><\/i>at the same time<\/span> that I\u2019m sharing with my community what I know about it thus far?<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

Start there. As equal parts teacher and student.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Helen McLaughlin is an action-oriented life coach and writer based in Appleton, Wisconsin. She works with highly-motivated women who are fun, resourceful, and creative as hell…and need a plan for going after and getting what they want. Find out more by subscribing to her newsletter<\/a>\u00a0and by joining\u00a0the movers and shakers in\u00a0her Facebook group, Action Oriented<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Are you a chronic over-preparer? I am. Really, I used to be\u2014but I say \u201cI am\u201d because, as with any addictive behavior, recovery from that persistent feeling of needing to do more is a slow and lifelong process. We don\u2019t … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12527,"featured_media":52771,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[9,17,6,31,39,23],"tags":[6257,644,66,186,4629,6256,1020],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Stop Preparing and Start Doing<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"I make experience my objective. Experience over preparation. 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