{"id":51146,"date":"2017-08-21T19:16:32","date_gmt":"2017-08-22T03:16:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=51146"},"modified":"2017-10-02T07:30:41","modified_gmt":"2017-10-02T15:30:41","slug":"10-things-introverts-start-today-live-happier-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/10-things-introverts-start-today-live-happier-life\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Things Introverts Should Start Doing Today to Live a Happier Life"},"content":{"rendered":"
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It\u2019s not easy being an introvert, because our society seems designed for extroverts. Job interviews favor those who are personable, smooth-talking, and quick-thinking. Classrooms are noisy, busy places that reward the students who raise their hands frequently and dive into group work. The social scene lauds those who are confident, outgoing, and quick to make small talk.<\/p>\n

How can an introvert live a happy, fulfilling life in an \u201cextroverted\u201d world? In my book, The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World<\/i><\/a>, <\/i>I explore how introverts can work with<\/i> their introversion rather than fight against it. Here are 10 ways introverts can do just that.<\/p>\n

1. Get over your guilt of leaving the social event early. <\/b>Have you ever started saying your goodbyes at a social event only to have someone incredulously exclaim, \u201cYou\u2019re leaving already? We\u2019re just getting started!\u201d These types of comments used to fill me with guilt. Why was I the only one getting drained and wanting to leave? Was there something wrong with me? Thankfully, I later learned that I\u2019m an introvert, and introverts get worn out by socializing because they respond to rewards differently than extroverts (you can learn more about the science behind introversion in my book). Now, I have no problem calling it an early night and heading for the door.<\/p>\n

2. Have more meaningful conversations. <\/b>Introverts tend to loathe small talk because it feels pointless and inauthentic, but we feel energized by talking about meaningful topics and big ideas. And there\u2019s good news for introverts: research<\/a> suggests that the happiest people have twice as many meaningful conversations \u2014 and do less surface-level chitchat \u2014 than the unhappiest. You may even find that big talk doesn\u2019t drain you the way small talk does.<\/p>\n

3. Be okay with turning down social invitations that promise little meaningful interaction. <\/b>We\u2019ve all been there. An acquaintance invites you to such-and-such event. You feel obligated to attend because you don\u2019t want to hurt that person\u2019s feelings or seem rude. But you know that the birthday party for your friend\u2019s niece\u2019s toddler or the guys\u2019 night out won\u2019t be fulfilling. In fact, it will not only lack meaningful interaction but also leave you with an introvert hangover<\/a>, which is when you feel physically unwell from overextending yourself socially. If you\u2019re anything like me, you\u2019ve spent a good chunk of your life saying yes to social invitations out of guilt \u2014 then you paid for it later with exhaustion and overstimulation. Of course, there are some things you probably shouldn\u2019t skip, like your good friend\u2019s wedding or your spouse\u2019s birthday dinner with the family. Bottom line, to live a happier life, pass on any unnecessary get-togethers you feel will drain your introvert battery, not energize it.<\/p>\n

4. Schedule your alone time to avoid hurt feelings. <\/b>I had the pleasure of sitting down with introverted Indie rocker jeremy messersmith<\/a> to interview him for my book. He told me about a smart practice he\u2019s been doing for quite some time: He makes sure he gets enough alone time by scheduling it once a week on the family calendar. That way his extroverted wife won\u2019t feel hurt when he says he wants to be alone, and they can both work together to protect his restorative solitude by not scheduling other obligations at that time.<\/p>\n

5. Don\u2019t force yourself to live the \u201cextroverted\u201d life. <\/b>Research<\/a> <\/b>from the University of Maryland suggests that acting falsely extroverted can lead to burnout, stress, and cardiovascular disease. Turns out, embracing your introverted nature isn\u2019t just a feel-good axiom \u2014 it\u2019s actually good for your health.<\/p>\n

6. Back away from one-sided relationships. <\/b>Sadly, because introverts listen well and are often content to take the back seat, we can be targets for toxic or emotionally needy people. These relationships \u2014 in which one person is taking more than they give \u2014 drain our already limited social energy. If there are people in your life who continually exhaust you, consider spending less time with them. You\u2019ll get the bonus of freeing up more time and energy for the people who do fill you up.<\/p>\n

7. Stop beating yourself up for that awkward thing you said\u20263 years ago. <\/b>Perhaps because introverts have more electrical activity<\/a> in their brains than extroverts, they tend to ruminate. Our overthinking may take the form of playing embarrassing mistakes over and over in our minds. Sadly, rumination can give way to anxiety and depression \u2014 and it rarely helps you solve the problem you\u2019re chewing on. To break free from the rumination cycle, do something to get the powerful engine of your mind chugging down a different track. Try calling to mind a positive memory, putting on music, going for a walk, or doing any different activity than the one you\u2019re currently doing.<\/p>\n

8. Give yourself permission to not do it all. <\/b>I have an extroverted friend who always has her hand in something. If she\u2019s not organizing a get-together with our friends, she\u2019s volunteering at her son\u2019s pre-school or taking on an extra project at work. I\u2019ll admit that I\u2019ve wished for her energy because she really does seem like she\u2019s doing it all. But I have to remind myself that my talents lie in deep analysis, reflective thinking, and quality over quantity \u2014 not in running around doing all the things.<\/p>\n

9. Occasionally push yourself out of your comfort zone. <\/b>To my absolute horror, after writing a book about introversion, I learned that people wanted to talk<\/i> to me about said book. They even wanted me to give interviews, go on podcasts, and give speeches! Let\u2019s just say it was a very real lesson in pushing myself out of my stay-at-home-and-watch-Netflix comfort zone. Honestly, I hated almost every minute of it (I really did!), but I did those things because I knew it would be good for me. Taking the occasional jaunt out of your comfort zone can help you grow, too.<\/p>\n

10. Protect your needs.<\/b> Because introverts tend to be conscientious people who keep their thoughts to themselves, they may find their needs getting overlooked. Most people probably aren\u2019t purposely<\/i> trying to burden you or take advantage of you \u2014 it may be that they simply aren\u2019t aware of what you need! Do you need a few hours to yourself to recharge from a busy week? Say it! Do you need someone to stop talking to you for a few minutes so you can concentrate? Tell them! Your needs matter just as much as everyone else\u2019s.<\/p>\n

My book, The Secret Lives of Introverts<\/i>, has been called a \u201cdecoder ring for introverts\u201d and \u201cone of the best books [on] introvert empowerment.\u201d It\u2019s available for purchase on Amazon<\/a>, or wherever books are sold.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s not easy being an introvert, because our society seems designed for extroverts. Job interviews favor those who are personable, smooth-talking, and quick-thinking. Classrooms are noisy, busy places that reward the students who raise their hands frequently and dive into … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12448,"featured_media":51147,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[32,6],"tags":[5393,4653,4641,2917,66,4629],"yoast_head":"\nHappier Life, Self Education - Pickthebrain.Com | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Happier Life : How can introverts live happy, fulfilling lives in an \u201cextroverted\u201d world? 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