{"id":49990,"date":"2017-06-12T20:59:17","date_gmt":"2017-06-13T04:59:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=49990"},"modified":"2017-12-01T11:24:46","modified_gmt":"2017-12-01T19:24:46","slug":"why-guilt-is-a-horrible-motivator","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-guilt-is-a-horrible-motivator\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Guilt Is A Horrible Motivator"},"content":{"rendered":"
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So you\u2019ve eaten a piece of cake that you weren\u2019t supposed to eat, or maybe you missed your child\u2019s first ballet concert. If you\u2019re like most people, and not a psychopath, chances are, you will feel guilty about what you did. Guilt is what we naturally feel when we believe we\u2019ve done something wrong. But should we be looking to guilt to make us more productive? The answer is no. Guilt is not a good motivator. You\u2019ll be better off counting on other things for that productivity boost.<\/p>\n

Guilt Takes Up Too Much of Your Mental Space<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re trying to motivate yourself to finally start on that project you\u2019ve been putting off, you might be thinking that you should remind yourself of how disappointed your boss would be if you don\u2019t finish it in time. You might be trying to guilt yourself into working on it so you don\u2019t let your boss down. A lot of times, this will get you working, but will you be surprised if I say you won\u2019t be your most productive while you work?<\/p>\n

Guilt makes you feel bad about yourself. When you go on a guilt trip, you\u2019re essentially focusing on your flaws and imperfections. But as scientists will tell you<\/a>, you\u2019re most productive when you feel confident, competent, and happy, not when you feel like you\u2019re being a horrible human being. Happiness is what increases productivity. If you have to spend part of your mental energy trying to deal with negative feelings like guilt, you won\u2019t be free to focus all your mental faculties on the task at hand. So guilt, instead of helping you be more productive, ends up being just and extra burden on your brain.<\/p>\n

It would be much better if you focus on doing the right thing instead of avoiding the wrong. Focus on being a good person instead of trying not to look like the bad guy. Rather than guilting yourself into finishing that project, motivate yourself by thinking of how happy you would make your boss feel when you complete it. Think of how grateful he would be that you did your part. Picture him celebrating the completion of the project and imagine yourself being partly responsible for his happiness. Thinking of the positive impact you can make will get you feeling happy and confident so you can be optimally productive.<\/p>\n

It Makes You Do More of What You Feel Guilty Doing<\/strong><\/p>\n

What did you do when you felt guilty about breaking your diet and eating that cake? Did feeling guilty help you get back on track? Chances are, it did the opposite. You broke your diet, felt horrible about it, and decided, \u201cWhat the heck I might as well have more cake.\u201d<\/p>\n

When you believe you\u2019ve done something bad, you begin to think that you deserve to be punished for what you\u2019ve done. If no one on the outside is going to punish you, you start looking for ways to punish yourself. Your self-punishment is your attempt to cleanse yourself of your guilty conscience. You end up punishing yourself by doing more of what made you feel horrible and guilty. You eat more of that cake, feel guiltier and it just becomes a cycle of guilt and self-punishment.<\/p>\n

Next time you make a mistake, instead of beating yourself up for the wrong and pushing yourself into a vicious cycle, celebrate what you\u2019ve done right so far. Focus on how you managed to stick to your diet two weeks, for instance, instead of letting that one time that you had a slice of cake overshadow everything. That\u2019s more likely to get you back on track. You\u2019ll end up wanting to feel like you\u2019re succeeding again and getting back to your success strategy.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s an Extrinsic Motivator So It Doesn\u2019t Last<\/strong><\/p>\n

You don\u2019t want to be in a situation where the only reason you do what you do is because you want to avoid feeling guilty. So maybe the only reason you\u2019re spending sleepless nights studying through med-school is because you don\u2019t want to disappoint your parents. Maybe only thing that\u2019s making you work hard to finish projects and meet deadlines is your desire to not feel bad about disappointing your boss. This means that you\u2019re looking to the outside to find the\u00a0motivation to do what you do, and there\u2019s nothing intrinsic pushing you forward.<\/p>\n

Your desire to avoid guilt is an extrinsic motivator. What would happen if this extrinsic motivator is removed? What would happen if, for instance, you find yourself working as an entrepreneur with no boss to disappoint? You lose your impetus. The new freedom confuses you and might even leave you paralyzed on how to act. That\u2019s why you might see a person who is very hard-working in a structured office setting struggle to get anything done when they become self-employed entrepreneurs.<\/p>\n

What you want to do instead is to find a way to build and nurture that intrinsic motivation. Regardless of the job you have, get yourself to a place where you wake up every morning ready to take on the day, not for your family or your boss, but simply because you enjoy what you do. Find a way to do your job simply because it makes you happy. That way you\u2019ll keep being productive and doing your best, even when you have no boss to impress.<\/p>\n

The next time you want to guilt yourself into doing something remember that you\u2019ll be sabotaging yourself. It\u2019s much better if you focus on doing the right thing instead of avoiding the bad, celebrating your successes, and enjoying yourself through every task.<\/p>\n

\n

Nelu Mbingu<\/strong> is a self-improvement blogger. She enjoys sharing her ideas about personal growth and social success on her blog, Lessons From Everyday Life<\/a>. She loves telling her stories, hearing other people\u2019s stories, and becoming wiser day by day. Visit her blog or follow her on Instagram: neluthecurious<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So you\u2019ve eaten a piece of cake that you weren\u2019t supposed to eat, or maybe you missed your child\u2019s first ballet concert. If you\u2019re like most people, and not a psychopath, chances are, you will feel guilty about what you … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11623,"featured_media":49991,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[3709,9,21,6],"tags":[5408,3606,4631,66,207,4629],"yoast_head":"\nWhy Guilt Is A Horrible Motivator<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Guilt is what we naturally feel when we believe we\u2019ve done something wrong. But should we be looking to guilt to make us more productive? 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