{"id":49282,"date":"2017-05-10T20:12:46","date_gmt":"2017-05-11T04:12:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=49282"},"modified":"2017-09-12T14:14:32","modified_gmt":"2017-09-12T22:14:32","slug":"5-clear-cut-signs-that-its-time-for-new-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-clear-cut-signs-that-its-time-for-new-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Clear Cut Signs That It’s Time For New Friends"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

\u201cIf you\u2019re the smartest person in your group, then you need a new group\u201d ~ Les Brown<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Have you ever spent a weekend with friends only to leave with that deep empty feeling inside?<\/p>\n

Where you were once best of buddies, now it seems like you\u2019re strangers.<\/p>\n

Are you at the butt end of every joke, prank, and sarcastic comment?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not personal (even it if feels like it), you\u2019ve simply changed and grown apart.<\/p>\n

Changes<\/h2>\n

One of the problems is that as humans we don\u2019t like change.<\/p>\n

Change challenges what we know and causes us to become nervous and defensive.<\/p>\n

So when you appear different to your group, it suddenly feels like you\u2019re on your own walking the plank.<\/p>\n

Mutiny!<\/p>\n

Find a new circle<\/h2>\n

Instead of clinging on reasoning that you\u2019ve known each other since you were kids, or that you all went to college together, it\u2019s time to bite the bullet and find a new ship.<\/p>\n

We all have a deep longing for embrace and acceptance. We want to be liked. But when the pack turns on you, you need to turn your back on the pack.<\/p>\n

Sticking with old friends who don\u2019t care for you like they once did, is a sure fire way to fall into depression, desperate for a connection that is long lost.<\/p>\n

Instead of trying to save a sinking ship, it\u2019s time to step out of your comfort zone and explore new avenues and relationships.<\/p>\n

Look for these 5 telltale signs to see if it\u2019s time you found a new group of friends.<\/p>\n

1. You do all the legwork<\/h1>\n

Do you organize everything? Are you regularly inventing original and diverse ways to spend time?<\/p>\n

When someone needs to take the lead, are you always the one to step up?<\/p>\n

Are you continuously planning everything, organizing every trip or night out? If you are then it\u2019s time for balance.<\/p>\n

There is no I in Team<\/h2>\n

I cannot recall how many times I have arranged kick ass trips, events, and parties only for my friends to turn up, enjoy the pie, and then go home leaving me to clean up the mess.<\/p>\n

Organization is a team effort. If you always do the heavy lifting, you\u2019ll be left with a heavy heart that feels bitter and under appreciated.<\/p>\n

If your friends are not taking the initiative to participate then it\u2019s time to look for people who will.<\/p>\n

Cut out the crap<\/h2>\n

A lion does not bother himself with sheep!<\/p>\n

When there are people in your circle who aren\u2019t pulling their weight, cut them loose and move on.<\/p>\n

It sounds harsh but your head and your heart will thank you for it.<\/p>\n

2. They keep letting you down<\/h1>\n

Have you ever built up a sweat in a bid to arrive on time only to watch a friend casually waltz down the road without a care in the world?<\/p>\n

Frustrating isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve broken the 4-minute mile while your buddy thinks being late like Axel Rose is cool. This isn\u2019t a Paris Hilton party!<\/p>\n

What time is it Mr Wolf?<\/h2>\n

In Colombia, I made friends with a girl who kept turning up late to a workshop.<\/p>\n

The girl didn\u2019t think twice about being late every day until I asked her if she could arrive at the time scheduled instead of 20 minutes later.<\/p>\n

Noticing that she was disturbing the group she promised that she would be on time and cleverly said:<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry, I\u2019ll be here tomorrow on English time.\u201d<\/p>\n

To which I replied:<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not English time, it\u2019s the TIME!\u201d<\/p>\n

Do you have any friends like this? People who think time stops for them?<\/p>\n

The art of responding<\/h2>\n

Friends who ignore emails, or \u201cforget\u201d to return phone calls are making a strong statement.<\/p>\n

Simply put, they don\u2019t care enough about you to be reliable.<\/p>\n

You hear excuse after excuse as you wait around like a lemon as if you don\u2019t have better things to do.<\/p>\n

Everyone is late occasionally.<\/p>\n

We all forget to reply once in awhile.<\/p>\n

But if you are the kind of person who goes the extra mile for your friends while that effort goes under the radar, then it\u2019s time to look for people who actually value and respect you.<\/p>\n

No time to hit reply, time to say goodbye!<\/p>\n

3. You have different interests<\/h1>\n

At University I naturally became friends with the guys I shared dorms with. One of their big interests was soccer. I wasn\u2019t the biggest soccer fan but wanted to fit in.<\/p>\n

Several years, and hundreds of hours later, I realized that I was spending time doing something that wasn\u2019t really me.<\/p>\n

Sound familiar?<\/p>\n

Are you really having fun?<\/h2>\n

The final straw came when we went on a month long road trip around Europe following the England soccer team as they played in the European Finals.<\/p>\n

Although the trip was fun, I came back empty.<\/p>\n

Realizing that we shared completely different interests was a pivotal moment.<\/p>\n

There was nothing wrong with their interests, each to their own, but they weren\u2019t mine.<\/p>\n

Find a balance<\/h2>\n

If we all liked the same things life would be pretty mundane.<\/p>\n

Sometimes you need to recognize and accept that your interests are wildly different from your friends.<\/p>\n

When you notice that your friends love to stay in playing video games, and you love going out dancing, instead of forcing yourself to do the things you don\u2019t enjoy, throw in the towel.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not personal, there\u2019s nothing wrong with videos games, but if their idea of fun is closing the curtains and playing Battlefield, whereas you get your rocks off by soaking up the sun, then it\u2019s time to wave the white flag.<\/p>\n

That being said, having different hobbies is fine. We aren\u2019t clones, so look for balance.<\/p>\n

Make your relationships a two-way thing.<\/p>\n

4. It\u2019s always about them<\/h1>\n

Recently I came back from a 2-year traveling odyssey around Intercontinental America. As you can imagine, it was the trip of a lifetime.<\/p>\n

You might think that when I returned home, my friends would be desperate to know about the adventure.<\/p>\n

Some were super interested, others, well, they just wanted to talk about their day at work.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong, I\u2019m interested in what they\u2019ve been up to, but what about their interest in what I\u2019ve been up to?<\/p>\n

Deflated<\/h2>\n

How much interest your friends have in your life is a telling sign about how much they actually care about you.<\/p>\n

Have you ever been bursting with excitement over a new job, car, or partner, desperate to celebrate the joy only for it to get brushed under the carpet?<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t take it to heart, it\u2019s simply that your friends aren\u2019t so invested in you. They are invested in themselves!<\/p>\n

All take and no give<\/h2>\n

In \u2018How To Win Friends And Influence People\u2019 author Dale Carnegie explains that if you want to make someone feel good, ask questions about \u2018their\u2019 life.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s say you are at a BBQ and you are talking to a stranger. Eventually, you notice that unless you ask a question, they stare into oblivion. They have nothing to say unless you do the probing.<\/p>\n

It wouldn\u2019t be long before you moved on, right?<\/p>\n

We need to adopt this approach with our friends and consider finding ones who offer a bit of give as well as take.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll feel a happier and stronger connection if you spend time with people who show an interest in your life.<\/p>\n

5. They don\u2019t support you<\/h1>\n

A few years ago I moved to London and hooked up with a new girl. I thought she was awesome and was keen for my friends to meet her.<\/p>\n

Instead of welcoming her into the group, they showed little support or desire to make a connection. It\u2019s possible that they felt threatened, but if they really cared they would have welcomed her with open arms.<\/p>\n

Plenty of other pals have formed a great friendship with my girlfriend, but for others, they weren\u2019t open to the new relationship.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be blue about new<\/h2>\n

Have any of your friends rejected something or someone new you\u2019ve brought to the table?<\/p>\n

Maybe you bought a summer dress and instead of compliments, you received sniggers.<\/p>\n

Or maybe you suggested trying a new restaurant only for it to fall on deaf ears.<\/p>\n

Good friends are willing to try new things and will support you with new ventures.<\/p>\n

If you come out and tell your friends that you\u2019re gay, they might be surprised, but they\u2019ll stick by you.<\/p>\n

Or they\u2019ll show their true colors!<\/p>\n

Yes man<\/h2>\n

Be careful though, don\u2019t make the mistake of wanting your friends to be \u201cYes\u201d people.<\/p>\n

True friends won\u2019t be afraid to disagree with you, but they\u2019ll do it in a thoughtful way with only your best interests at heart.<\/p>\n

When you have a new idea, make a big change, or do something out of the ordinary, look for friends who have your back, not ones who laugh behind it.<\/p>\n

Let them go<\/h1>\n

Letting go of your friends can be a painful yet often necessary process.<\/p>\n

If you want to grow, expand, and develop meaningful relationships, sometimes you need to make space and jump out of your comfort zone.<\/p>\n

Make a decision to connect with like-minded people who support your goals and participate in your interests.<\/p>\n

You won\u2019t find too many like-minded individuals at a rave if crowded places and loud noises make you anxious.<\/p>\n

The trick is to get out there and do the things you love by surrounding yourself with people who are already doing it.<\/p>\n

Join a meetup or local course filled with people doing the things that interest you.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re different and it\u2019s OK<\/h2>\n

Remember, it\u2019s not about cutting everyone out of your life. It\u2019s not about getting angry and falling out with your old friends.<\/p>\n

Accept that you have different desires and dreams. If it seems like you are aliens, take another path.<\/p>\n

You aren\u2019t better or worse, you\u2019re just different.<\/p>\n

One in a million<\/h2>\n

Finally, acknowledge the precious few friends who support, contribute, and stick by you.<\/p>\n

Work on developing the friendship and be open and honest with each other.<\/p>\n

Friends come and go through life, but the ones worth keeping are like looking for glass needles in a haystack – you\u2019ll need to put in some real effort to find them.<\/p>\n

The payoff will be a lifetime of laughter, adventure, and support with true friends who love you.<\/h1>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cIf you\u2019re the smartest person in your group, then you need a new group\u201d ~ Les Brown Have you ever spent a weekend with friends only to leave with that deep empty feeling inside? Where you were once best of … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11805,"featured_media":49283,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[32,21,58,6],"tags":[1541,4975,5393,4482,2149,5956,66,4651],"yoast_head":"\n5 Clear Cut Signs That It's Time For New Friends<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Have you ever spent a weekend with friends only to leave with that deep empty feeling inside? 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