{"id":46242,"date":"2016-12-31T10:55:16","date_gmt":"2016-12-31T18:55:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=46242"},"modified":"2017-05-27T08:46:54","modified_gmt":"2017-05-27T16:46:54","slug":"what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/","title":{"rendered":"What I Learned about Politeness at a Korean Flower Shop"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/p>\n

We take it for granted that people should know how to be polite. It seems like something universal: You say please and thank you, you smile, and you tell people you\u2019re doing well when they ask how you are, even if your life is in turmoil. At least that\u2019s how it works in the West.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been living in Korea for the past year and a bit and it\u2019s a little different over here.<\/p>\n

Koreans have a distinct way of saying “Yes” to each other that sounds like a dismissive grunt to the native English speaker.<\/p>\n

When my girlfriend and I first started dating, for example, I\u2019d ask if she wanted to have pizza for dinner. \u201cUh,\u201d she\u2019d reply, and it took me a while to learn that this meant yes.<\/p>\n

Naturally, as we spent more time together, I began using \u201cUh\u201d myself. Eventually it became unconscious; without noticing I would grunt \u201cUh\u201d whenever I wanted to say yes to something.<\/p>\n

Why was this an issue?<\/h2>\n

I\u2019m used to expressing politeness by using the word, \u201cPlease,\u201d or excessively apologizing like the good Canadian boy I am. But in Korea I\u2019m often at a loss because there\u2019s no real word for \u201cPlease\u201d in Korean, and if you say \u201cSorry\u201d without having actually done anything to apologize for, you just seem strange and silly.<\/p>\n

Instead, politeness in Korean is expressed using different word endings. There are essentially three levels\u2014casual, everyday formal, and super formal\u2014and in each level you would end the last word of your sentence in a different way.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a little confusing, but for the sake of this story all you need to know is that using \u201cUh\u201d to say \u201cYes\u201d is something you would do only when speaking to someone younger than you or someone who you know very well. You would use a different word to say \u201cYes\u201d in more formal situations.<\/p>\n

The other week I went to a flower shop.<\/h2>\n

There was an old Korean couple inside sitting behind the register. They were eating noodles together silently. I smiled, said hello, and began browsing the flower display.<\/p>\n

The old lady rose from her seat and asked me in Korean if I\u2019d like to buy the bouqet that I was looking at. \u201cUh,\u201d I said, without noticing.<\/p>\n

She began preparing the flowers. As she did I noticed a sour look on her husband\u2019s face as he sucked up a few noodles from his bowl.<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you like to pay by card?\u201d she asked me.<\/p>\n

\u201cUh.\u201d I smiled and handed her my card. Now her face looked sour too. I tried making small talk with them in Korean\u2014something I\u2019ve found usually delights the elderly couples here as they watch me struggle to form sentences. This time, however, I barely received a response.<\/p>\n

I sensed something was wrong. \u201cWould you like a receipt?\u201d she asked in a tone that seemed rather harsh. \u201cUh,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

She gave me the receipt and sat back down without thanking me or saying goodbye. I eventually figured it out as I replayed the scene in my head on the walk home.<\/p>\n

Worst of all was that I had no idea how many times I\u2019d done the same thing to others; I imagined the number to be high. I consider myself to be a reasonably polite person, yet here I was in Korea, walking around grunting \u201cUh\u201d at elders like an asshole.<\/p>\n

Politeness is often one of the first things lost in translation, as it turns out.<\/h2>\n

So the next time you see a foreigner acting in a way that seems rude in your own country, perhaps they\u2019ve just misunderstood\u00a0some of the dos and don\u2019ts of your culture. Maybe they really do mean well and are just confused about how to express their good intentions. Maybe they aren\u2019t accustomed to all of the strange things we do that seem normal to us.<\/p>\n

\u2026Or maybe that particular person really just is a dick. Who knows. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n

\n

My name is Jacob. I’m fascinated by all of the strange things we often tell ourselves that prevent us from doing what we want to do in life. Soon-to-be blogger at pooroldme.com Check me out here.<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A short tale about cultural differences, misunderstanding, and politeness. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, to others we seem rude and insensitive. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11918,"featured_media":46484,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[38,58,6],"tags":[5697,5698,5699,5696,2142,66,4629,5695],"yoast_head":"\nWhat I Learned about Politeness at a Korean Flower Shop<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A short tale about cultural differences, misunderstanding, and politeness. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, to others we seem rude and insensitive.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What I Learned about Politeness at a Korean Flower Shop\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A short tale about cultural differences, misunderstanding, and politeness. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, to others we seem rude and insensitive.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2016-12-31T18:55:16+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2017-05-27T16:46:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Screen-Shot-2016-12-31-at-10.59.43-AM.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"830\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"611\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"jacobg123\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Screen-Shot-2016-12-31-at-10.59.43-AM.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Screen-Shot-2016-12-31-at-10.59.43-AM.png\",\"width\":830,\"height\":611,\"caption\":\"What I Learned About Politeness At A Korean Flower Shop\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/\",\"name\":\"What I Learned about Politeness at a Korean Flower Shop\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2016-12-31T18:55:16+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2017-05-27T16:46:54+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/c8b8c2cfc1ede090e7dffc5e924e62df\"},\"description\":\"A short tale about cultural differences, misunderstanding, and politeness. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, to others we seem rude and insensitive.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"What I Learned about Politeness at a Korean Flower Shop\"}]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/c8b8c2cfc1ede090e7dffc5e924e62df\",\"name\":\"jacobg123\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/07329288540c0e823969e322443a9788?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/07329288540c0e823969e322443a9788?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"jacobg123\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/author\/jacobg123\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"What I Learned about Politeness at a Korean Flower Shop","description":"A short tale about cultural differences, misunderstanding, and politeness. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, to others we seem rude and insensitive.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"What I Learned about Politeness at a Korean Flower Shop","og_description":"A short tale about cultural differences, misunderstanding, and politeness. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, to others we seem rude and insensitive.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/","og_site_name":"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","article_publisher":"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pickthebrain","article_published_time":"2016-12-31T18:55:16+00:00","article_modified_time":"2017-05-27T16:46:54+00:00","og_image":[{"width":830,"height":611,"url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Screen-Shot-2016-12-31-at-10.59.43-AM.png","type":"image\/png"}],"twitter_card":"summary","twitter_creator":"@pickthebrain","twitter_site":"@pickthebrain","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"jacobg123","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/","name":"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Screen-Shot-2016-12-31-at-10.59.43-AM.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/Screen-Shot-2016-12-31-at-10.59.43-AM.png","width":830,"height":611,"caption":"What I Learned About Politeness At A Korean Flower Shop"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/#webpage","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/","name":"What I Learned about Politeness at a Korean Flower Shop","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/#primaryimage"},"datePublished":"2016-12-31T18:55:16+00:00","dateModified":"2017-05-27T16:46:54+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/c8b8c2cfc1ede090e7dffc5e924e62df"},"description":"A short tale about cultural differences, misunderstanding, and politeness. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, to others we seem rude and insensitive.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-i-learned-about-politeness-at-a-korean-flower-shop\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"What I Learned about Politeness at a Korean Flower Shop"}]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/c8b8c2cfc1ede090e7dffc5e924e62df","name":"jacobg123","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/07329288540c0e823969e322443a9788?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/07329288540c0e823969e322443a9788?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"jacobg123"},"url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/author\/jacobg123\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46242"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11918"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=46242"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46242\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/46484"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=46242"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=46242"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=46242"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}