{"id":4438,"date":"2011-02-22T16:27:43","date_gmt":"2011-02-23T00:27:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=4438"},"modified":"2013-10-10T08:16:38","modified_gmt":"2013-10-10T16:16:38","slug":"day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/","title":{"rendered":"Day 38: How To Get Anyone To Listen To Everything You Say"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/a><\/p>\n

You\u2019ve seen it before and you didn\u2019t like it.<\/p>\n

A mom lobbing verbal grenades at her obnoxious children, a husband making his point with syllables of flaming anger, or an irate customer beating a clerk into submission with the subtlety of a tsunami.<\/p>\n

When your voice erupts in a detonation of decibels, you\u2019ve lost control. The person on the receiving end of your ill temper (and manners) must either match your fury with their own fire or quench it with a cold shoulder.<\/p>\n

Volume doesn\u2019t equal confidence. In fact, when someone is using an overly amplified voice to make their point, it\u2019s an indication they\u2019re teetering at the edge of uncertainty.<\/p>\n

Speak softly, with an even measure of clarity and confidence, and you will demolish defensive barriers and more easily invite the attention of your listener.<\/p>\n

Sure, you can make your point with a roar, but the right whisper can be infinitely louder. Here are three tactics to help you get heard and be remembered.<\/p>\n

Stay At The Same Level<\/strong><\/h3>\n

No one likes to feel dominated. Whether it\u2019s your intention or not, talking down to someone leaves them with the impression that you feel you\u2019re over or above them.<\/p>\n

Even if you\u2019re not actually yelling, your body language is screaming.<\/p>\n

Take a step back, lower your shoulders, or have a seat. Use your body language to let the person you\u2019re speaking with know that their perspective is important, without forcing them into surrender.<\/p>\n

This will demolish their walls of indifference and make it easier to hear every word you have to say.<\/p>\n

Look Every Problem In The Eye<\/strong><\/h3>\n

Our eyes are the windows to our soul. Keeping your eyes fixed in conversation is key to getting others to listen, and is instrumental in measuring comprehension.<\/p>\n

If your listener looks confused, you\u2019ve lost them. If they appear uninterested, then you either have a boring voice or your listener is building a wall of resistance. Either way, you can use their silent signals to redirect the conversation to your benefit.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s always easier to draw people into your perspective by showing them you care enough to maintain eye contact.<\/p>\n

Monkey See, Monkey Do <\/strong><\/h3>\n

Everyone with a beating heart longs to feel valued and to know they\u2019re good enough. There\u2019s no better way to show someone they matter than by listening to their questions and concerns, then validating their perspective.<\/p>\n

When you take time to listen to others, you give value to their world view. Then, when it\u2019s your turn to speak, you\u2019re more likely to have the gesture returned with an attentive listener.<\/p>\n

By listening to your audience you will model the behavior you expect in return.<\/p>\n

Raising your voice may be necessary on occasion. But for the most part, a confident voice is a calm one. The right words, softly spoken will command the attention of your audience.<\/p>\n

Remember, a flickering candle illuminates the room, a flamethrower burns it to ash.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The FREE PickTheBrain “90 Days to a Better You” eCourse was built to give you more confidence than you ever thought possible. You get one confidence boosting email a day, a motivational quote, and a photo to inspire you – all for Free<\/p>\n

Join us today…<\/p>\n

<\/form>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sean Platt is an author and <\/em>professional ghostwriter<\/span><\/em><\/a>, and part of the crew at the <\/em>lifestyle design site<\/span><\/em><\/a>, Your Life\u2019s Blueprint. Life\u2019s better when you <\/em>follow him on Twitter.<\/span><\/em><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When your voice erupts in a detonation of decibels, you\u2019ve lost control. The person on the receiving end of your ill temper (and manners) must either match your fury with their own fire or quench it with a cold shoulder. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":4648,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[754],"tags":[4653,745,936,937,895,66,4651,4629],"yoast_head":"\nHow To Get Anyone To Listen To Everything You Say | PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Our eyes are the windows to our soul. Keeping your eyes fixed in conversation is key to getting others to listen, and is instrumental in measuring comprehension.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How To Get Anyone To Listen To Everything You Say | PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Our eyes are the windows to our soul. Keeping your eyes fixed in conversation is key to getting others to listen, and is instrumental in measuring comprehension.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2011-02-23T00:27:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-10-10T16:16:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Speak-Softly.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"425\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"282\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Erin Falconer\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Speak-Softly.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Speak-Softly.jpg\",\"width\":\"425\",\"height\":\"282\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/\",\"name\":\"How To Get Anyone To Listen To Everything You Say | PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2011-02-23T00:27:43+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-10-10T16:16:38+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2da8ae162c097bdb749ab098472b4cc5\"},\"description\":\"Our eyes are the windows to our soul. Keeping your eyes fixed in conversation is key to getting others to listen, and is instrumental in measuring comprehension.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Day 38: How To Get Anyone To Listen To Everything You Say\"}]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2da8ae162c097bdb749ab098472b4cc5\",\"name\":\"Erin Falconer\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1173c63284b173ff225e5f87a1af5028?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1173c63284b173ff225e5f87a1af5028?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Erin Falconer\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/author\/erin\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How To Get Anyone To Listen To Everything You Say | PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement","description":"Our eyes are the windows to our soul. Keeping your eyes fixed in conversation is key to getting others to listen, and is instrumental in measuring comprehension.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How To Get Anyone To Listen To Everything You Say | PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement","og_description":"Our eyes are the windows to our soul. Keeping your eyes fixed in conversation is key to getting others to listen, and is instrumental in measuring comprehension.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/","og_site_name":"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","article_publisher":"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pickthebrain","article_published_time":"2011-02-23T00:27:43+00:00","article_modified_time":"2013-10-10T16:16:38+00:00","og_image":[{"width":"425","height":"282","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Speak-Softly.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"twitter_card":"summary","twitter_creator":"@pickthebrain","twitter_site":"@pickthebrain","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Erin Falconer","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/","name":"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Speak-Softly.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/Speak-Softly.jpg","width":"425","height":"282"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/#webpage","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/","name":"How To Get Anyone To Listen To Everything You Say | PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/#primaryimage"},"datePublished":"2011-02-23T00:27:43+00:00","dateModified":"2013-10-10T16:16:38+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2da8ae162c097bdb749ab098472b4cc5"},"description":"Our eyes are the windows to our soul. Keeping your eyes fixed in conversation is key to getting others to listen, and is instrumental in measuring comprehension.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/day-38-how-to-get-anyone-to-listen-to-everything-you-say\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Day 38: How To Get Anyone To Listen To Everything You Say"}]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2da8ae162c097bdb749ab098472b4cc5","name":"Erin Falconer","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1173c63284b173ff225e5f87a1af5028?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1173c63284b173ff225e5f87a1af5028?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Erin Falconer"},"url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/author\/erin\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4438"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12163"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4438"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4438\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4648"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4438"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4438"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4438"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}