{"id":41844,"date":"2016-06-12T20:08:29","date_gmt":"2016-06-13T04:08:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=41844"},"modified":"2017-05-27T08:49:39","modified_gmt":"2017-05-27T16:49:39","slug":"25-blissful-ways-to-overcome-social-anxiety-and-shyness-with-kind-grit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/25-blissful-ways-to-overcome-social-anxiety-and-shyness-with-kind-grit\/","title":{"rendered":"25 Blissful Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety and Shyness with Kind Grit"},"content":{"rendered":"
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<\/p>\n

The toughest part to overcoming social anxiety and shyness is that\u00a0we are the ones usually getting in our own way of progress\u00a0by judging ourselves and others, by being idealistic, by not taking action because we don\u2019t feel good enough yet.\u00a0 It is an uphill battle of fear and self-doubt.<\/p>\n

We are afraid.<\/p>\n

Afraid to fail,\u00a0of judgment,\u00a0or to take action or to rock the boat, it is a vicious cycle leading nowhere.<\/p>\n

You probably have high standards and\u00a0maybe you have been let down by them.\u00a0 The truth is that real progress must happen based in reality, which is\u00a0imperfect.<\/p>\n

Take some realistic and encouraging steps<\/b> towards confidence.<\/p>\n

This\u00a0simple perspective can dramatically shift your day. \u00a0This does not mean to have low expectations, it just means to get closer to the ground so you can be honest, join others, and allow for mistakes<\/b> to learn and\u00a0expand.\u00a0\u00a0Small actions, based in the here and now, builds confidence.<\/p>\n

Be kinder to yourself and take action towards becoming more compassionate and aware<\/b> with\u00a0your relationships and situations until it becomes a part of your life. \u00a0You will build up foundations to\u00a0your authentic and creative self.<\/p>\n

Here are 25 ways to reframe your perspective and take meaningful actions towards\u00a0progress.\u00a0 You owe it to yourself to overcome shyness and social anxiety and never underestimate your ability.\u00a0 You will surprise yourself when you replace negative thoughts with positive and imperfect action.<\/p>\n

By applying any of these steps, you will get more out of your day, I promise.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Prioritize and balance your health, home, routine, work, and joy.<\/b>\u00a0 <\/b>Start off on the right track first thing in the morning. \u00a0I recommend Hal Higdon\u2019s Miracle Morning to get your daily cup of confidence first thing in the morning.
    \n\"photo-1461551449292-b63f7419ac93\"<\/li>\n
  2. Reduce CATS. \u00a0That\u2019s caffeine, alcohol, tobacco, and sugar (not the cute cuddly creatures).\u00a0 <\/b>These cloud your thinking and increase stress and anxiety and by limiting them, you will gain control over your health, how you feel, and how you react with a bonus of not being derailed from progress.
    \n\"photo-1444005233317-7fb24f0da789\"<\/li>\n
  3. Lie to Yourself. \u00a0<\/b>Incorporate positive body language.\u00a0 I\u2019d recommend Presence by Amy Cuddy.\u00a0 Her research and first hand experience suggests that your mind will follow your body, so stand confident like a starfish and nudge yourself to confident.
    \n\"photo-1425009294879-3f15dd0b4ed5\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  4. See perfection in imperfection. \u00a0<\/b>Don\u2019t point out the one flaw in a beautiful piece of art. \u00a0Life is imperfect and there is a beauty in that.\u00a0 You are good enough now. \u00a0Run to enjoy the view instead of to \u2018catch up\u2019.
    \n    \"photo-1433888104365-77d8043c9615\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  5. Don\u2019t dilute your value or numb yourself.\u00a0 <\/b>When did becoming sensitive become a bad thing? When you can sense other people\u2019s emotions without them even saying a word, that is a special gift.\u00a0 Allow yourself to feel and be vulnerable.
    \n    \"photo-1445098516063-9b0b2e4206e9\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  6. Feel entitled to a full life and stay curious about the world.\u00a0 <\/b>Get out of autopilot and be your creative self.\u00a0 You are entitled to live authentically because you are here.\u00a0 I recommend Elizabeth Gilbert\u2019s soul-enriching and hysterical book Big Magic on this topic.
    \n    \"photo-1458594468546-902ea1ef951e\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  7. Learn more about yourself through expression. \u00a0<\/b>Maybe you have learned to hold back for fear of being judged but by finding a simple form of expression, you will discover you are more interesting than you think.
    \n    \"photo-1460661419201-fd4cecdf8a8b\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  8. Be flexible to change, to people, and things outside your control.\u00a0 <\/b>Learn to let go of the things you cannot control and give yourself breathing room for increased resilience when bad things happen, there is power and joy in that space.
    \n    \"photo-1460825677851-2b15e25c3c99\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  9. Connect mindfully and spiritually.\u00a0 <\/b>Jumping from task to task can be draining, fill your well and find your compass through nature, God, and inner peace.\u00a0 Focus only on the task at hand in the here and now\u00a0with no judgments.
    \n    \"photo-1422393682802-921122338109\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  10. Pray, breathe, pause, and take 10 minutes daily to meditate.\u00a0 <\/b>Another way to find spirituality, space and peace is to start meditating and praying every day, this is also a great part of the morning routine.
    \n    \"YEc7WB6ASDydBTw6GDlF_antalya-beach-lulu\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  11. Visualize and relentlessly pursue your dreams.\u00a0 <\/b>Instead of visualizing the end result, visualize the steps you will take to get to that end result and see yourself enjoying these experiences.\u00a0\u00a0This is where the real magic happens.
    \n    \"photo-1458570937094-8381d3a9535b\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  12. Find meaningful work and establish motivation discipline.\u00a0 <\/b>Treat each new day as an opportunity.\u00a0 <\/b>By starting small and seeing yourself succeed, you will see the glorious potential you have at your fingertips.
    \n    \"photo-1447914178647-198e7e4a70b5\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  13. Journal your fears and skills.\u00a0 <\/b>Many of us try to hide fear and that only makes it worse, so give it room to breathe, let it sit in the passenger seat, but don\u2019t hand over the wheel.\u00a0 Also, list your positive traits and accomplishments on a consistent basis.
    \n    \"photo-1456324504439-367cee3b3c32\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  14. Become more compassionate to those in need. \u00a0<\/b>This will bring confidence and help someone.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to change the world, you can help just a single person or animal.
    \n    \"photo-1414445092210-ee1a2da44ad7\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  15. Frequently and intentionally go off autopilot to do something different. <\/b>Take a Ferriss Bueller day and do something out of the ordinary for you.
    \n    \"photo-1455594089581-a542babe3169\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  16. Sweat it out with a workout program to reduce daily stress. \u00a0<\/b>Daily exercise is so rewarding, I don\u2019t have to tell you.\u00a0 Additionally, if you see an exercise goal through, that confidence gained can be applied to other goals.
    \n    \"photo-1444337243058-da3cbd06eaff\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  17. Establish boundaries and find your \u2018no\u2019.\u00a0 <\/b>Don\u2019t do things to please others.\u00a0 This takes grit. \u00a0Know what you stand for and respect yourself first, which will decrease your fears and anxieties.
    \n    \"photo-1453592256941-41c97c1d396a\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  18. Don\u2019t compare yourself to others. Stop judgment in its tracks. <\/b>Let go of caring what others think of you and start to challenge your comfort zone in small ways and build upon it. Action is where you will gain strength.
    \n    \"photo-1442921262204-fcd00ed49ef7\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  19. Be courageous and see fear as an opportunity towards a better life.\u00a0 <\/b>After you challenge your comfort zone, take it a step further and challenge your fears and follow your heart.\u00a0 You might surprise yourself and the world will start to open up.
    \n    \"photo-1455849318743-b2233052fcff\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  20. Fail fast and accept failing as part of the process. \u00a0<\/b>Every skill requires much effort and failure.\u00a0 Embrace this fact.\u00a0 Fail socially, that is the only way you will improve.\u00a0 “Take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.” \u2014 Mary Tyler Moore
    \n    \"photo-1447584402565-2a5b35a7ea8a\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  21. Look to the classics for rich inspiration to refuel the tank. \u00a0<\/b>This will give you more to talk about, directly or indirectly, and the consistency of a simple task like this can boost your confidence and build enrichment in your life.
    \n    \"photo-1455885661740-29cbf08a42fa\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  22. Take action and invite joy.\u00a0 <\/b>Become a person that makes decisions and you will naturally become your confident, happy self.\u00a0 Don\u2019t wait for permission, pave your own authentic path and see where it leads you.
    \n    \"photo-1436831135709-48bdc150cce5\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  23. Get a friend and start\u00a0a weekly social hour.\u00a0 <\/b>Seek out the opinion of others and broaden your perspective. \u00a0Be sure to listen to other people and give them the spotlight to build genuine connections.\u00a0 You become like the people you hang out with so you\u00a0owe yourself to be\u00a0selective.
    \n    \"photo-1454909516657-78526f214d05\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  24. Be rational with your expectations and accountable to them. \u00a0<\/b>Don\u2019t expect the worst or give yourself impossible tasks. \u00a0Break down problems into simple and tangible steps and take\u00a0decisive\u00a0action.\u00a0Complete a fun to do list of\u00a0five things instead of zero out of a daunting 20 to build up integrity.
    \n    \"photo-1435459141050-0234f55a8ca3\"<\/a><\/li>\n
  25. Be grateful no matter what, everyday is a new day. <\/b>This will bring true and everlasting confidence in yourself and in your life.
    \n    \"photo-1456587349840-30f5d8581fc8\"<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    All of these points really boil down to two things: creative compassion <\/b>and gritty awareness<\/b>.<\/p>\n

    Be aware of your choices and be more compassionate with yourself and others by being a creative person. \u00a0Life is real and colorful. \u00a0Prioritize your time to find balance, accept yourself and others with colorful flaws. \u00a0Be resilient to things outside your control and\u00a0 present-minded and spiritual\u00a0for\u00a0real confidence.<\/p>\n

    Give your inner artist room for expression\u00a0and sensitivity (creativity) and wait to react. \u00a0Be entitled and curious, enjoying meaningful and creative work, visualizing yourself enjoying the steps you will take, and positively nudging yourself,\u00a0celebrating\u00a0accomplishments along the way.<\/p>\n

    Enjoy something different without\u00a0wondering what others think of you.\u00a0 Challenge your comfort zone (grit), embrace failure and fear, and use positive words and body language (all grit).\u00a0 Establish realistic expectations and boundaries and hold yourself accountable, surrounded by\u00a0positive people who respect\u00a0your boundaries.<\/p>\n

    When you stop judging and are kind, you will see how much kinder the world becomes.\u00a0 Implement these practices to overcome shyness and anxiety and become confident, creative, gritty, and entitled.<\/p>\n

    -Photos\u00a0from www.Unsplash.com<\/p>\n

    \u2014\u2014\u2014<\/p>\n

    Rachel Bourne is the creator of an upcoming website Sassy Samurai<\/a> \u2014 dedicated to providing Social Anxiety and Shyness Support for You to build confidence and strength. Just check out the site to sign up for notification\u00a0when we go live (and for free stuff!)<\/p>\n

    \u201cThe thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.\u201d<\/b> – <\/b>Anna Quindlen<\/p>\n

    \"Sassy<\/a><\/p>\n

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