{"id":4146,"date":"2010-11-15T23:21:56","date_gmt":"2010-11-16T07:21:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=4146"},"modified":"2013-08-28T08:27:28","modified_gmt":"2013-08-28T16:27:28","slug":"the-pillars-of-a-solid-friendship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/the-pillars-of-a-solid-friendship\/","title":{"rendered":"The Pillars of a Solid Friendship"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/a><\/p>\n

In ages past, a friendship was supposed to be a sacred bond between two people.\u00a0 Despite the interconnectedness of our age, many people lack friendships that have depth and true understanding.\u00a0 Many people experience the pangs of loneliness without anyone to turn to.\u00a0 Yet a friendship that is true and strong is not a bygone myth.\u00a0 It is possible to have a deep and lasting friendship if there are certain pillars to support it.\u00a0 Read on to find out what these pillars are.<\/p>\n

Acceptance<\/strong><\/p>\n

Before you can be true friends with someone, you have to accept them.\u00a0 If you cannot do so, you will always find fault with your friend\u2019s actions or behaviour.\u00a0 This makes it very difficult for your friends to relax or be themselves with you.\u00a0 They will always feel judged by your standards.\u00a0 If you find yourself judging your friends on a regular basis, they may not be the right kind of friends for you.<\/p>\n

Thus, acceptance means ridding yourself of any preconceived notions of how your friend should behave.\u00a0 Success occurs when your friends tell you that they are comfortable being themselves with you.\u00a0 Whether they are silly or serious, happy or sad, it does not bother you.\u00a0 Acceptance is a great gift to bestow upon your friend.\u00a0 It is a vital pillar of a true friendship.<\/p>\n

Understanding<\/strong><\/p>\n

A solid friendship stems from a deep understanding of each other.\u00a0 If you cannot place yourself in the shoes of your friends, you will find it hard to empathize with them.\u00a0 If you are not aware of the reasons behind their actions, their actions will perplexed you on a constant basis.\u00a0 This state of affairs could lead to a breakdown in communication between the two of you.\u00a0 When that happens, it is easy for misunderstandings and problems to arise in the friendship.<\/p>\n

True friends understand the reasons behind the actions of their dearest friends.\u00a0 They know what makes you happy and sad.\u00a0 They know how you think and act.\u00a0 They know why you do the things you do.\u00a0 This makes it easy for them to empathize with you.\u00a0 So make the effort to truly understand and accept your friends.\u00a0 When you do so without expectation, you would have laid the foundation for a strong friendship.<\/p>\n

Trust <\/strong><\/p>\n

Trust takes a lifetime to build and mere seconds to destroy.\u00a0 A friendship without trust is like a fish without water; it cannot survive.\u00a0 If you cannot trust your friend, you will always remain guarded in their presence.\u00a0 You can never be open, honest or your true self with them.\u00a0 Putting on a mask or an act on a continual basis is tiring.\u00a0 This false front will create barriers between friends that will hinder any strong bond from forming.\u00a0 A friendship without trust is hollow and a waste of time and effort.<\/p>\n

Therefore, trust is vital to a deep friendship.\u00a0 When there is trust, both of you can be honest about your thoughts and feelings without worry.\u00a0 Of course, there is a need for tact in your speech.\u00a0 Being honest does not mean being hurtful on purpose.\u00a0 In a solid friendship, both parties can depend on each other to watch their backs when the going gets tough.<\/p>\n

Altruism<\/strong><\/p>\n

Actions always speak louder than words.\u00a0 Before a person can receive, he or she must first learn to give without expectations.\u00a0 One who only cares about his own self-interest would find it hard to form a deep bond with anyone.\u00a0 How can a deep friendship happen if both parties are unwilling to give for fear of losing out?\u00a0 A friendship that is all take becomes a pain very quickly.<\/p>\n

Altruism is therefore an important pillar of a deep friendship.\u00a0 This means having the best interests of your dearest friends at heart.\u00a0 When you have this mindset, sincerity flows naturally into your actions, laying the cement that will form a strong friendship.\u00a0 It could take the form of prudent counsel or support when they need it the most.\u00a0 Or it could be help in other areas of their lives.\u00a0 Done sincerely, your friends will always know that they have a bulwark to turn to in times of need.<\/p>\n

Taking Action<\/strong><\/p>\n

A friendship that has the pillars above as its foundation is likely to be a deep and lasting one.\u00a0 Not all the pillars will be easy for everyone.\u00a0 Some people have difficulty trusting, others have problems with acceptance.\u00a0 But since everything you know is learned, it means you can also unlearn ineffective behaviours.\u00a0 If you manage to find friends who stand by you through thick and thin, treasure them, for they may just be the ones to teach you about the pillars of friendship.\u00a0 A deep and lasting friendship takes time to build.\u00a0 That is why we should start early with people whom we feel are worth it.<\/p>\n

Are there any other pillars of friendships that I have missed out?\u00a0 Feel free to give your comments on what it takes to have a solid friendship.<\/p>\n

The Vizier blogs at <\/em>Han of Harmony<\/em><\/a>.\u00a0 Here, he gives tips on how to live life in harmony with the times and circumstances. The Vizier enjoys learning and finding new ways to deal with the challenges of life.\u00a0 Whether it is gaining inspiration from books, observing people or just living life, he learns and reflects so that he can share his insights with others<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A deep and lasting friendship takes time to build. That is why we should start early with people whom we feel are worth it. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":17629,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[58,6],"tags":[874,442,873,66,4651,4629],"yoast_head":"\nThe Pillars of a Solid Friendship - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In ages past, a friendship was supposed to be a sacred bond between two people. Despite the interconnectedness of our age, many people lack friendships that have depth and true understanding. Many people experience the pangs of loneliness without anyone to turn to. 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