{"id":41316,"date":"2016-06-15T19:52:43","date_gmt":"2016-06-16T03:52:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=41316"},"modified":"2017-05-27T08:49:34","modified_gmt":"2017-05-27T16:49:34","slug":"what-other-people-say-and-do-is-not-about-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-other-people-say-and-do-is-not-about-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Why What Other People Say and Do is Not About You"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/p>\n

It always helps to\u00a0remember that what other people say and do is not about you.<\/p>\n

Everyone is just projecting their inner space into their outer world.<\/p>\n

The way a person thinks and feels in any moment inclines their choices, behavior, actions and the words that they speak. Other people are then on the receiving end of that.<\/p>\n

IT’S EASIEST TO SEE YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE OF THIS<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you can logically see how your own words and actions are not\u00a0about other people,\u00a0then you will\u00a0much more\u00a0easily be able to see that what others say and do is not about you either.<\/p>\n

For example, if you\u2019re feeling good<\/strong> and you\u2019re around someone who is negative, you\u2019re still often capable of letting it go and staying positive, you may even notice you\u2019re able to be more patient and tolerant of them because you feel good. But, on the flip-side, if you\u2019re feeling terrible<\/strong> and you\u2019re around someone who is really positive, you might still let out negativity around them or get frustrated with them, even if they are being nice and it\u2019s a calm situation. This is because you don\u2019t feel good.<\/p>\n

In both scenarios, how you are thinking and feeling is defining what you project toward the other person.<\/strong> It is not about them.<\/p>\n

Your thinking\/feeling cycle (nothing to do with anyone else) drives your choices, behavior, actions, and the words you speak. And if that thinking\/feeling cycle is negative in any one moment, and you are not consciously aware enough to interrupt yourself and\u00a0choose differently, then that is what comes out of you.<\/p>\n

This doesn\u2019t deny\u00a0the fact that people can absolutely trigger you<\/strong>, pushing your hot buttons, leading you to think and feel negatively. Yet irrespective of that, anything you project out into the world or at other people is still coming directly and purely from your inner space – coming out of your beliefs, thoughts and feelings, conveyed in behavior, words and actions.<\/p>\n

No one else controls you. No one controls what you think or how you feel. That is your domain.<\/p>\n

That inner space you hold is founded upon an\u00a0accumulation of experiences and understanding built up over your entire life to date\u00a0\u2013 everything you have come to believe, which makes up your \u201cparadigm\u201d (your model of reality) – the lens through which you see yourself, life and other people. You then perceive, interpret, think, feel and react\/respond to life around you according to that lens. That has nothing to do with other people. What you say and do is not about other people, not even when they trigger you. Your habitual ways of behaving, any judgement, criticism or\u00a0hurt that comes out of you toward others, is not about them. It is a projection of your paradigm into the world around you.<\/p>\n

AND NOW THE GREAT NEWS…<\/strong><\/p>\n

If you can logically see that this is true for you, then you can also see\u00a0it\u00a0is true for everyone else too.<\/strong><\/p>\n

What other people say and do is not about you either. You might trigger them, but their beliefs, thoughts and feeling are inclining their\u00a0choices, behavior, words and actions, which is all about them and the paradigm they live from, being\u00a0projected outward or\u00a0at you.<\/p>\n

WE\u00a0CAN BREAK THE CYCLE<\/strong><\/p>\n

We live in a highly reactionary world.<\/strong> Someone does something or says something as a projection of their inner space, another person feels triggered and reacts. From the triggering of their inner space and negative reaction, they then trigger someone else, who in turn also reacts, and this ripples out with more and more people being triggered and reacting.<\/p>\n

We so easily\u00a0get\u00a0upset about what someone else said or did, taking that behavior personally, taking the look on someone\u2019s face, what they did or didn\u2019t do, and making it mean something about ourselves.<\/p>\n

Many people are simply trying to get through each day,\u00a0<\/strong>while\u00a0feeling like everything going on around them is about them, perhaps even\u00a0seeing evidence in each interaction, look they receive or word they hear, as being a personal attack.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Our \u201cpersonality selves\u201d (egos) get very affected by others. If we can rise above that thinking,\u00a0and instead remember what is REALLY going on, then there is a chance for greater peace and flow \u2013 individually and collectively.<\/p>\n

WE CAN PRACTISE<\/strong><\/p>\n

The next time someone says or does something and you feel triggered, take a deep breath and say to yourself , \u201cWhat others say and do is not about me. I choose not to react. I choose peace.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

The beauty of this awareness and choice, is that when you see someone projecting their inner space e.g. anger, upset, negativity\u00a0or rudeness, you can remember\u2026 if that is what is coming out of them in that moment, then that must be what is IN them in that moment, and how unpleasant that must be for that person!<\/strong><\/p>\n

You can have a little empathy<\/strong> for them. You know what is going on, and you know what it feels like to be in that cycle, because you\u2019ve been there\u00a0yourself, as we all have!<\/p>\n

Our\u00a0ability to remain detached, aware, and choosing non-reaction, means we\u00a0don\u2019t dive in and participate in\u00a0the negativity party of other people<\/strong>, and we\u00a0break the trigger\/reaction cycle<\/strong> in that moment. We\u00a0serve ourselves\u00a0and we\u00a0serve all of humanity at the same time! We chose to cultivate a peace party, to which we invite all others to join.<\/strong> Who knows, the negative person projecting at you might just\u00a0change their tune in your calm presence, and join the peace\u00a0party with you!<\/p>\n

——-<\/p>\n

Bernadette Logue is a\u00a0Transformation Coach & Author, and the founder of Pinch Me Living. \u00a0To free yourself of limiting beliefs and negative thinking, and create a powerful new paradigm<\/strong>, visit Bernadette at www.pinchmeliving.com<\/a>\u00a0for her\u00a0\u201cMASTER YOUR MIND\u201d program online with live classes,<\/strong>\u00a0and\u00a0join\u00a0her\u00a0Youtube\u00a0community<\/a> for\u00a0daily inspiration and\u00a0mind liberation.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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