{"id":41043,"date":"2016-05-12T20:14:38","date_gmt":"2016-05-13T04:14:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=41043"},"modified":"2017-05-27T08:50:15","modified_gmt":"2017-05-27T16:50:15","slug":"5-real-reasons-you-arent-reaching-your-goals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-real-reasons-you-arent-reaching-your-goals\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Real Reasons You Aren&#8217;t Reaching Your Goals"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p><\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ve been setting goals for years. In fact, you\u2019re a damn good goal setter. You write SMART goals, lay out the activities, action plans, deadlines and measurements. You put your goals in a place where you could see them every damn day!<\/p>\n<p>Problem is you rarely meet your goals. I get it. I was there. In fact, the process would go something like this:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>I really want to make some changes. I set goals based on what changes I think I need to make. Goals are soon forgotten.<\/li>\n<li>I really want to make some changes. I set goals based on what changes I think I need to make. Goals are soon forgotten.<\/li>\n<li>I really want to make some changes\u2026<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>So what\u2019s the problem? With all your kick-ass goal setting skills why in the world are you failing to meet your goals? Perhaps it\u2019s because most of us are just taught the process of goal setting. If you were to research goals you will find numerous writings on \u201chow-to\u201d set goals. Blog, lessons and videos only focus on the mechanics of setting goals.\u00a0 That\u2019s the easy part.<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><strong><em>Goals can give your life structure, but they won\u2019t give your life purpose.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<h1><strong>Here are five rarely addressed reasons you aren&#8217;t reaching your goals:<\/strong><\/h1>\n<ol>\n<li>You don\u2019t understand what you really want for your life. \u201cI didn\u2019t stand for anything so I fell for everything.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>You have too many short-term, \u201clet\u2019s get this done in three months,\u201d goals, only looking at tomorrow and not long term.<\/li>\n<li>You believe self-improvement is trying to fix yourself. You don\u2019t understand that self-improvement is about fully accepting and expressing yourself.<\/li>\n<li>Your self-control is non-existent. You can\u2019t handle the big emotions or employ any self-motivation.<\/li>\n<li>Your goals were based on what others said you should be experiencing, like losing weight. Instead of creating your goals on something you are truly passionate about.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><strong>Many women I have spoken to and know, me included, grew up with expectations placed on us by others.<\/strong>\u00a0It\u2019s a familiar tune, we hear it said over and over. We experience it ourselves.\u00a0 By the time you are 50 and even 40, these expectations we\u2019ve taken on are so ingrained in us, we are not even aware these weren\u2019t ours in the first place. We forget or we don\u2019t even know what we wanted.<\/p>\n<p>To add an additional layer, we\u2019ve lived a life of many varied experiences.\u00a0 Some disappointing, some truly wonderful, yet these experiences have placed us right where we are today. All the baggage we\u2019ve packed over the decades is right beside us.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Goals are an important piece of change.<\/strong>\u00a0They give you laser focus, hold you accountable, help you achieve your highest potential. Goals will also help you reign in behaviors such as procrastination.\u00a0 So, yes, set goals, however, there are five important pieces to have in place before you set goals:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Make a commitment to your goals.<\/strong> When you get married you don\u2019t declare that you will make it a habit to be faithful to your partner. It\u2019s a commitment you make. You believe in the greater purpose of the relationship so therefore you don\u2019t have to develop a habit to stay faithful.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Become more self-aware.<\/strong> Step outside yourself to see what is really going on. Gather as much data about yourself as you can. How do you handle the big emotions? What are your go-to stress relievers? Do you have your unwavering core values in place? Are your goals set to make sure your strengths are best utilized?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center\"><em>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<strong>\u00a0 \u00a0When setting goals it\u2019s important to know what YOU want your life to look like, and feel like in the future.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Place your focus on your day to day activities.<\/strong> Don\u2019t make the goal the end \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0result. When we plan a vacation we have an end destination in mind right? Our day to day activities of reaching that goal are what will get us to our vacation. So that when the goal of planning our vacation is over we go on vacation.<\/li>\n<li>\u00a0<strong>Employ less willpower and more\u00a0<em>I Want Power<\/em>.<\/strong> Is your\u00a0<em>why<\/em>\u00a0strong enough? Do you even have a\u00a0<em>why<\/em>? Why is this goal important? Why are you even putting yourself through this hard work? Your why is the strength you need when the going gets tough.<\/li>\n<li>\u00a0<strong>Do you know what habits are holding you back?<\/strong> Our \u201cbad\u201d habits can really derail any goals and good intentions. However, habit breaking is not as black and white as some would lead you to believe. Some habits are easier to \u2018break\u201d. We can replace sitting on the couch eating ice cream after dinner with a 30 minute walk. Pretty soon the 30 minute walk replaces the ice cream and walking becomes the habit.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>However, other habits such as procrastination, hanging on to outcomes and less tangible habits are extremely difficult to break. These are not habits, they are behaviors produced by our bad habits.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Seems like a lot right? Just a personal thought about me for a second. I spent many years just playing at my life. Most of the reasons I was not able to achieve what I wanted for my life are listed here in this article. I also wanted to take the quick and easy way. Unfortunately the quick and easy way produced half-assed results.\u00a0 I also didn\u2019t truly know who I was and what I wanted.<\/p>\n<p>What about you? Where are you in the whole process of goal setting?\u00a0 I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.<\/p>\n<p><em>Shelly is a personal development strategist and founder of <a href=\"http:\/\/therescueyourselfproject.com\/\">The Rescue Yourself Project <\/a>helping women over 40 step into their unique selves so they can create a life they love! \u00a0A few years ago, she\u00a0found herself living a life that wasn&#8217;t of her making. Deciding that wasn&#8217;t what she wanted she ran away from home and spent eight months &#8220;re-branding&#8221; herself. Today Shelly helps women find their unique selves by becoming experts about their values, strengths, passions, goals and purpose so they can design a life they love. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You\u2019ve been setting goals for years. In fact, you\u2019re a damn good goal setter. You write SMART goals, lay out the activities, action plans, deadlines and measurements. You put your goals in a place where you could see them every damn day!<\/p>\n<p>Problem is you rarely meet your goals. I get it. I was there. In fact, the process would go something like this: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-real-reasons-you-arent-reaching-your-goals\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":646,"featured_media":41223,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false},"categories":[3709,9,30,6],"tags":[63,1246,1562,66,4629],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>5 Real Reasons You Aren&#039;t Reaching Your Goals<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You\u2019ve been setting goals for years. In fact, you\u2019re a damn good goal setter. Problem is you rarely meet your goals. I get it. 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