{"id":39666,"date":"2016-03-10T09:15:19","date_gmt":"2016-03-10T17:15:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=39666"},"modified":"2016-03-11T22:11:22","modified_gmt":"2016-03-12T06:11:22","slug":"10-social-hacks-thatll-save-awkward-situation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/10-social-hacks-thatll-save-awkward-situation\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Social Hacks That&#8217;ll Save You From Any Awkward Situation"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p><\/p>\n<p>We&#8217;ve all experienced it.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve all worried about starting up a one to one conversation at a party and coming across as weird or pushy. We\u2019ve all fretted about walking up to someone and being rejected. We\u2019ve all tried to keep a conversation going, only to find it sink like the Bismark, leaving you drowning with no lifeline.<\/p>\n<p>Social situations can be painfully awkward. Too often they leave you feeling small, embarrassed, even dumb.<\/p>\n<p>There are many reasons why you feel anxious at times like these:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Fear of rejection.<\/li>\n<li>Worries that a situation will lead you to be singled out and embarrassed.<\/li>\n<li>Believing, often wrongly, that you are annoying or inconveniencing people.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>However, you can learn not only to survive, but even to thrive in social encounters. You can learn to become comfortable in company, even if you weren&#8217;t born a social animal.<\/p>\n<p>With a few simple proven hacks and a little social science you can save yourself from most awkward social situations. Here&#8217;s how&#8230;<\/p>\n<h2>1. Saying No Without Offending.<\/h2>\n<p>Sometimes you want, or have to, refuse a request or invitation from a friend or colleague, but saying no might hurt their feelings or offend them.<\/p>\n<p>You can soften your refusal by giving a reason. Caldini in his famous book<em> Influence<\/em>, showed that people respond more positively if you provide a reason, even if the reason makes little sense:<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Hey Mark, thanks for thinking of me! Unfortunately I\u2019m booked up for the next couple of months. Feel free to reach out again in [whatever time scale suits you \u2013 a couple of weeks or months] if you\u2019re still interested and I\u2019ll see about fitting it in. Cheers<\/em>!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You can soften the refusal even further by offering them an alternative option. Michael Roberto, a professor at Bryant University and the author of<a href=\"http:\/\/[http:\/\/www.forbes.com\/2011\/05\/25\/how-to-say-no-at-work.html].\" target=\"_blank\"><em> Why Great Leaders Don\u2019t Take Yes for an Answer<\/em><\/a> calls it &#8216;Extending them an olive branch&#8217;:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cI\u2019d love to, but I\u2019m really snowed under at the moment. Have you thought of checking out [resource\/book\/website\/] \u2013 there\u2019s some great stuff on there that might be what you\u2019re looking for? Or maybe [work colleague\/friend] can help you with that?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h2>2. Striking Up A Conversation Without Being Pushy.<\/h2>\n<p>At a social event you often want to start a one on one conversation but are worried about appearing too forward, especially if it is with someone of the opposite sex.<\/p>\n<p>A fail-safe opener will allow you to break the ice:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cHi, my name\u2019s John\u2026\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cHi, great conference.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>You can continue the conversation in an approachable, non-threatening way by following up with an easy, open-ended question:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cHi, my name\u2019s John, what&#8217;s yours?\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cHi, great conference. How&#8217;s it going for you?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h2>3. Mastering The Knack Of Small Talk.<\/h2>\n<p>Having started the conversation, the art of keeping it flowing naturally can be easily achieved with several simple methods:<\/p>\n<p>Start off with a safe, topic you have in common \u2013 for instance how you came to be at that event, how you know the host, or something about the surroundings:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cHow do you know [host&#8217;s name]?\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cWhat a great venue, it\u2019s new to me. How did you find out about it?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Listen carefully and repeat back key phrases as questions to keep the conversation going:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cOh, so you met [host&#8217;s name] at college?\u201d What did you major in?\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr &#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cSo it&#8217;s not your first time here. Was it a similar sort of event you came to last time?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h2>4. Saying Goodbye The Easy Way.<\/h2>\n<p>Now you can start and keep a conversation going, you need to be able to end it without appearing brusque or bored.<\/p>\n<p>When the time is up, give a warm but definite explanation as to why you need to leave:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cHey [name], I hate to leave but I really have to go now, I promised to [explanation].&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Add in a compliment or good wishes for something that they have told you about:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cIt&#8217;s been great chatting, good luck with [x]\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr &#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201c&#8230;good wishes for the future.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h2>5. Recovering From Forgetting Their Name<\/h2>\n<p>Forgetting someone&#8217;s name is something most of us have experienced and something that often causes the most stress in social situations.<\/p>\n<p>Instead of nervously trying to remember and hoping you won\u2019t have to introduce them to anyone else, be sincere and upfront straight away and own up:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Apologize for having a totally blank moment.<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t make it a big deal \u2013 if you play it down, so will they.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><em>\u201cHey, I&#8217;m really sorry. I&#8217;ve forgotten your name, I have the worst memory for names.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cHey, apologies. I have a problem hanging on to names and yours has just slipped my mind for a moment.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cEver have a blank moment? My memory is a shocker for names and I have to confess yours has escaped me for a second.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h2>6. Giving A Compliment Like A Pro.<\/h2>\n<p>Receiving a compliment often leaves you squirming in embarrassment, while giving one can be just as awkward.<\/p>\n<p>A simple statement of how something you admire or appreciate in someone else or how something they did has benefited or inspired you is the best form of compliment:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cHey Sam, I really admire how you are always so positive, even when things go wrong.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cCan I just say that was awesome, the way you just\u2026 [whatever they wowed you with]&#8221;.<\/em><br \/>\nOr..<em>.<\/em><br \/>\n<em> \u201cYou know, you made today great by&#8230; [whatever they did to brighten your world]&#8221;.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Precede it with a short explanation of why you are paying this compliment:<\/p>\n<p><em> \u201cHey [name], I&#8217;ve known you for a while now and I&#8217;ve got to tell you [compliment].\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cJust in case no one\u2019s said it lately, I\u2019ve got to tell you [compliment].\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cYou totally made my day today, I\u2019ve got to say thank you for [compliment].&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<h2>7. Disagreeing Or Complaining Without Sounding Like A Jerk.<\/h2>\n<p>Most of us are programmed to avoid conflict but sometimes you just have to speak up.<\/p>\n<p>Start with the smallest grain of common ground you can find in your opposing views. Show that you respect their view even though yours may differ:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cHey, I appreciate what you&#8217;re saying about [x], you have a point there.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cIt\u2019s great to share views, isn\u2019t it. I can see where you\u2019re coming from, absolutely.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Calmly, logically and rationally explain your standpoint:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cHowever, I&#8217;m sure you agree that [x] needs to be fit for the purpose it was bought for?\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cI wonder though could there be another way to look at this? What I see is [explanation of your standpoint]&#8221;.<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cI guess we\u2019ve had different, but equally valid experiences. In my case [explanation of your experience].\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h2>8. Speaking Up In A Group With Confidence.<\/h2>\n<p>One of the most nerve-wracking social situations is overcoming your initial reluctance and making your voice heard.<\/p>\n<p>Boost your confidence by starting off with a short audible agreement for someone else\u2019s contribution:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cHey, I&#8217;ve got to say I totally agree with [name]. Well said.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cThat\u2019s a great point. I definitely agree.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Forget trying to be clever or impress, be succinct. You\u2019ll be most impressive by being yourself:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cI have an idea, might be worth sharing\u2026\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cThere\u2019s been some great ideas offered here. I&#8217;ve a quick one to add&#8230;\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cI don\u2019t claim to be any kind of expert, this is just observation but could be useful\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h2>9. Brushing Someone Off Without Seeming Rude.<\/h2>\n<p>Sometimes you simply don&#8217;t want to talk to someone because you either don&#8217;t like them of you&#8217;re simply too busy.<\/p>\n<p>A warm smile and a positive greeting will allow you to take control of the conversation:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cHey Mary, great to see you.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cHi John, haven\u2019t seen you in a while. You\u2019re looking great.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Mention immediately that you would love to chat but you are pushed for time:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cI&#8217;d love to stop and chat but I&#8217;m pushed for time.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr &#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cPlease don\u2019t think me rude but I promised to be somewhere and I\u2019m running late.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cThis is such bad timing, I should have been somewhere twenty minutes ago.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Leave them with an upbeat goodbye message:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cTake care and we&#8217;ll catch up later.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr..<br \/>\n<em>\u201cHave a great rest of day. Hope to bump into you again when I\u2019m not chasing my tail.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cSorry I\u2019m rushing. Good to see you looking so well.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<h2>10. Talking To People Who Intimidate You.<\/h2>\n<p>Remember most intimidating people are way less confident than they seem &#8211; bullish tones are often cultivated to hide a lack of self-assurance.<\/p>\n<p>If you are going to shake hands, put yours out first and grasp theirs firmly, but don&#8217;t over do it. Seize the conversation from the start with a topic you are most confident in, don&#8217;t let them dictate it:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cHey, you know, I had a great result with [recent success]It\u2019s really made the week. [expand].\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cHave you tried [author, activity, exercise regime, food]. I\u2019ve just gotten into it and, what a difference it\u2019s made.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cI\u2019d love to share a great experience I had last week. It might surprise you\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Similarly end the conversation early, stay in control:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cIt was great talking to you [name]. I&#8217;ve got to get going. See you around.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr &#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cThanks for that, really enjoyed it. Excuse me, have to be on my way.\u201d<\/em><br \/>\nOr&#8230;<br \/>\n<em>\u201cInteresting chat. Looking forward to the next one, hopefully soon. Bye for now.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Bio: Laura Tong is on a mission to help you boost your confidence and self-esteem. Download her<strong> free cheat sheet: <a href=\"http:\/\/positivelyhappy.me\/free-download\" target=\"_blank\">5 Guilt Free Ways To Say No Without Offending Anyone (Even If You Hate Conflict)<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We&#8217;ve all experienced it.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ve all worried about starting up a one to one conversation at a party and coming across as weird or pushy. We\u2019ve all fretted about walking up to someone and being rejected.  <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/10-social-hacks-thatll-save-awkward-situation\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10784,"featured_media":39711,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[38,205,21,112,7,6],"tags":[4646,4653,4980,318,66,4652,207,4629,4087],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>10 Social Hacks That&#039;ll Save You From Any Awkward Situation<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We&#039;ve all experienced it. 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