{"id":3858,"date":"2011-03-09T08:44:25","date_gmt":"2011-03-09T16:44:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=3858"},"modified":"2013-09-06T08:32:43","modified_gmt":"2013-09-06T16:32:43","slug":"a-bulletproof-way-to-build-a-much-better-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/a-bulletproof-way-to-build-a-much-better-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Day 23: A Bulletproof Way To Build A Much Better You"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Asking for help can be hard, especially if you\u2019re used to doing things on your own. But inevitably life\u2019s gonna hand you a situation that leaves you asking for help. We need others to live a rich, full life- and that includes asking others for help from time to time. If you want to build a better you, then the best thing to do is get a few others in on the job.<\/p>\n

Why Asking For Help Is The SMART Thing To Do<\/p>\n

Humans are relational beings, hard-wired for community and better together. Solitary confinement is the roughest sentence an inmate can get, yet many free, law-abiding citizens sentence themselves to solitary confinement daily by choosing isolation over living in community with others.<\/p>\n

Intimacy is essential for a full life. In isolation, we can never meet our full potential, so we miss some of the greatest experiences in life.<\/p>\n

Relationships develop in a predictable pattern.<\/p>\n

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  1. Form: Two people form a mutual acceptance of each other, set boundaries for the relationship, and determine how the relationship will develop; activities shared, frequency of time spent together, and memories made.<\/li>\n
  2. Storm: Inevitably, a relational storm approaches; conflict, disagreements, disappointment. The friendship is thrown into question. Sadly, many relationships never survive past this stage.<\/li>\n
  3. Norm: Once the storm has passed and trust is established, a deep mutual appreciation develops, and true intimacy begins to develop.<\/li>\n
  4. Perform: At this stage, two people significantly influence each other, live in community through the sharing of experiences and living life together in a mostly (emotionally) transparent state. They experience a synergy of relationship and an understanding of intimacy. During this stage, they are know and are known, love and are loved, celebrate and are celebrated.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Asking for help can be a part of any of these stages, or it can serve as a sea that carries you from one of life\u2019s islands to the next. If you ask a friend for help and they let you down, your relationship is likely to regress to the previous stage. If they earn your trust and confidence, intimacy will deepen and your relationship will build toward the next higher step.<\/p>\n

    Asking for help:<\/p>\n