{"id":37974,"date":"2016-01-07T20:58:30","date_gmt":"2016-01-08T04:58:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=37974"},"modified":"2016-06-01T03:08:17","modified_gmt":"2016-06-01T11:08:17","slug":"5-ways-handle-fools-dont-understand-depression","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-ways-handle-fools-dont-understand-depression\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Ways to Handle People who Don\u2019t Understand Your Depression"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

You\u2019ve had enough.<\/p>\n

Every time you talk about your depression, everybody gives you a weird look, and say:<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy can\u2019t you just get over it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShut up! We\u2019re talking about someone with a real disease here.\u201d<\/p>\n

You wish they could stop acting this way.<\/p>\n

You want them to know what depression really is.<\/p>\n

But explaining depression is like teaching foreigners about the customs of your country. They never get it.<\/p>\n

People either give you unsolicited advice like, \u201cjust think positively\u201d, \u201cbe thankful\u201d, \u201ctalk to someone\u201d. These things don\u2019t even register on your mind.<\/p>\n

You want to scream at their ignorance.<\/p>\n

Everybody wants to fix you, but you don\u2019t need fixing.<\/p>\n

All you need is someone who understands you. Someone who has faith in you. Someone who strokes you gently until you could breathe.<\/p>\n

Their Normal Life vs. Your Endless Nightmare<\/h2>\n

When people say they are \u201cdepressed\u201d, it really bugs you.<\/p>\n

They have no idea what it is.<\/p>\n

At worst, it means sadness to them. They think it means the same to you.<\/p>\n

But you know it\u2019s more than that. Depression actually hurts. It inflicts physical pain on you.<\/p>\n

You live in a nightmare.<\/p>\n

To you, what\u2019s beautiful looks ugly, what\u2019s colorful looks bleak.<\/p>\n

Nothing gives you comfort and pleasure. Life has no meaning.<\/p>\n

You know, as a fact, that things will never get better. Everything has always been miserable, and always will be.<\/p>\n

On a really good day, your mood is erratic at best. One second you may feel a tiny drop of happiness, the next second you sink back into the very depths of hell.<\/p>\n

The normal person has no idea how bad your struggle is. Everything he does effortlessly requires all your willpower and physical strength. Even for things like getting dressed and taking a shower.<\/p>\n

You may have stayed in bed for days. It\u2019s not because you\u2019re lazy. It\u2019s because getting out of bed is torture.<\/p>\n

All you want to do is lie somewhere and stare into space.<\/p>\n

People Think They Know you, But They Don\u2019t<\/h2>\n

Normal people are clueless about your world, so they impose their own values on you. They think their experience applies to you.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s why people give you unsolicited, worthless, idiotic and harmful advice.<\/p>\n

\u201cTry to think positively,\u201d they say, \u201cbe thankful of what you have.\u201d<\/p>\n

They have no idea that your brain cannot register anything remotely positive, or that you can\u2019t be grateful of anything in your abominable world.<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t even know what \u201cpositive\u201d means. How could it possibly help you?<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy can\u2019t you just get over it?\u201d they add, \u201cSuck it up! Stop feeling sorry for yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve heard this a thousand times before, and it still hurts every time.<\/p>\n

Because people who say this put the blame on you.<\/p>\n

It makes you feel guilty and worthless that you can\u2019t hold yourself together. It crushes your self-respect and exacerbates your depression.<\/p>\n

But it\u2019s not your fault. It\u2019s not like you chose depression over a normal life.<\/p>\n

Depression is not something you can just snap out of. It\u2019s a clinically proven disease. By telling you to just snap out of depression, they might as well tell you to snap out of diabetes.<\/p>\n

5 Reliable Ways to Shield Yourself from Toxic Remarks<\/h2>\n

You\u2019ll never stop hearing unwanted advice, as long as there are people around you.<\/p>\n

People don\u2019t change. It\u2019s nearly impossible to make them understand you. And your depression is not going away anytime soon.<\/p>\n

What you can do is to act a little differently, and minimize the damage of\u00a0harmful comments.<\/p>\n

1. Relinquish All Expectations<\/h2>\n

The easiest thing you can do is not to have any expectations.<\/p>\n

Give up on making people understand you, because they won\u2019t. After all, they haven\u2019t been depressed themselves.<\/p>\n

Assume no one would ever understand you, and you\u2019ll not be disappointed.<\/p>\n

2. Parry Verbal Attacks With Canned Responses<\/h2>\n

When you have heard tons of inappropriate advice, you\u2019ll probably notice a pattern. You can see them coming a mile away.<\/p>\n

Using your experience, devise canned responses to retort unwanted remarks. This way, you can control the situation instead of getting hurt.<\/p>\n

Use phrases like \u201cThanks.\u201d \u201cThanks for the suggestion.\u201d \u201cI\u2019ll try.\u201d<\/p>\n

Prepare short, polite responses aimed at ending the conversation or changing the topic.<\/p>\n

If someone just won\u2019t shut up, try ignoring their words and remain silent. They\u2019ll usually get the hint.<\/p>\n

3. Warn People When They\u2019re Being Stupid<\/h2>\n

When the words of your loved ones are hurting you, you may want to seriously talk it over with them.<\/p>\n

Express your feeling toward their harmful comments. Try your best to be polite, but assertive.<\/p>\n

If your depression creeps up during the discussion, let your emotions out. It helps to show your loved one what depression is about, and that you\u2019re really hurt.<\/p>\n

4. Hide Your Emotions From Ignorant, Uncaring People<\/h2>\n

When you share your feelings, you reveal your vulnerabilities and emotions.<\/p>\n

The person you confide in should be someone trustworthy, someone you care about and someone who loves you.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t confess your deep feelings to someone who is not close to you. If he is not trustworthy and supportive, he may hurt you even more using the weakness you just exposed.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t give anyone more reasons to hurt you.<\/p>\n

5. Connect With Other Depressed People<\/h2>\n

Sometimes, it may be better to share your feelings with someone who is also depressed. When you do, you will know that you are not alone.<\/p>\n

According to WHO, about\u00a0350 million people in the world suffer\u00a0depression. Not that it\u2019s a good thing, but it means there are many people who can really understand you.<\/p>\n

There are people who can love you exactly the way you want them to.<\/p>\n

Seek out depression forums and blogs online where people share their experiences. Engage in communities. Participate in offline meetings if you can manage.<\/p>\n

Sharing your pain with someone else is a great relief. You may even make some lifelong friends afterward.<\/p>\n

How To Live In A Dark World That Nobody Knows Exists<\/h2>\n

If I were there with you, I would give you a hug, hold your hand and listen to your story.<\/p>\n

But not everyone can do the same because of their ignorance.<\/p>\n

I wish more people would educate themselves about depression, but we should accept that it\u2019s not going to happen anytime soon, if ever.<\/p>\n

Although people around you are probably never going to change, you have the power to protect yourself from their insensitive words.<\/p>\n

Even if your depression won\u2019t cure anytime soon, you have the strength to cope with it, and go through all the trials it brings about.<\/p>\n

I understand that depression saps your motivation, and it prevents you from doing pretty much anything.<\/p>\n

I understand that you may not have the willpower\u00a0to put\u00a0my suggestions to work.<\/p>\n

I wish I could do this for you.<\/p>\n

But I know you can do it on your own. I know you can win this battle.<\/p>\n

I have faith in you.<\/p>\n

———-<\/p>\n

Blon Lee is a Chinese Buddhist who helps people transform suffering into joy with Buddhist wisdom. Download his free guide:\u00a0Buddhist Meditation Ultimate Guide: A Step-By-Step Guide to Finding True Inner Peace<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Everybody wants to fix you, but you don\u2019t need fixing.<\/p>\n

All you need is someone who understands you. Someone who has faith in you. Someone who strokes you gently until you could breathe. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11104,"featured_media":37975,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[38,205,33,3709,32,24,21,58,112,7,6],"tags":[4653,4642,4641,66,4635,4651,4629],"yoast_head":"\n5 Ways to Handle Fools who Don\u2019t Understand Your Depression<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Everybody wants to fix you, but you don\u2019t need fixing. All you need is someone who understands you. Someone who has faith in you. 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