{"id":36501,"date":"2015-11-20T16:52:10","date_gmt":"2015-11-21T00:52:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=36501"},"modified":"2015-11-23T20:44:16","modified_gmt":"2015-11-24T04:44:16","slug":"free-yourself-from-no-way-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/free-yourself-from-no-way-out\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Free Yourself From The “No Way Out Place”"},"content":{"rendered":"
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A friend of mine called me the other day and said, \u201cMary, I am really depressed and despondent, and I can\u2019t seem to get out of it.\u201d\u00a0I invited my friend to shift her thinking for a moment and instead of saying \u201cI am depressed,\u201d I invited her to express this feeling in a different way, \u201cI see the Depressed One is here.\u201d\u00a0 I also told her that I believe it is a really good thing that she can\u2019t get out of it.\u00a0 \u201cGetting out of it\u201d is what we have been trying to do our whole lives.\u00a0To me, the healing is about going towards it, being with it and watching it let go through the healing of our accepting attention.<\/p>\n

Clinical depression, including feelings of suicide, is a very real and serious diagnosis and should be treated by a medical provider. This is not what my friend is experiencing.\u00a0Often people experience what my friend is experiencing (low-grade sadness, low energy, tiredness, feeling unmotivated and lonely, etc.) and they label it \u201cdepression.\u201d\u00a0 There is a difference between the story of \u201cI am depressed\u201d and what is actually going on in your body and mind.\u00a0\u00a0Underneath the idea of depression are a number of feelings that need your attention so they can move through you rather than \u2018raining on your parade.\u2019\u00a0 When things get really stirred up, your mind wants to get away from what it is experiencing, so it slips into the idea of \u201cI am depressed\u201d and it doesn\u2019t see the healing power of actually being with what you are experiencing.<\/p>\n

If you look at the word depression, it literally means \u201cto press down.\u201d\u00a0When you can say to yourself, \u201cOh, the Depressed One is here\u201d rather than \u201cI am depressed,\u201d it can wake up your curiosity about what is really going on.\u00a0Because you are not used to turning toward what you are experiencing, it can be helpful to ask yourself, \u201cWhat am I experiencing right now in my body?\u201d\u00a0As you check into your body, you might find that your hands are cold, or you have a lump in your throat, or your stomach is tight, or your head is pounding.\u00a0This is a moment of coming out of your ideas about what you are experiencing and actually experiencing it.<\/p>\n

As you discover the healing power of having your attention and whatever your body is experiencing together, you can then learn how to give this same attention to the feelings that are causing you to say you are depressed. When you are feeling pressed down, often the most despairing and painful places inside of you are showing themselves.\u00a0And it is usually the three hidden spells (discussed in my book, What\u2019s In the Way Is the Way<\/em>) that are contributing to the feelings of depression.\u00a0Spells are beliefs that we took on when we were young because Life was very confusing, too scary and it felt unsafe.\u00a0I call these beliefs \u201cspells\u201d because they are something that was conditioned into us when we were young, they are not true, and they can be lifted.<\/p>\n

The three hidden spells are:\u00a0 1) \u201cBecause I am not doing it right, I am wrong;\u201d 2) \u201cBecause I am doing it wrong, I am unlovable;\u201d and 3) \u201cBecause I am unlovable, I am all alone.\u201d\u00a0These spells all combine to create what I call the \u201cNo Way Out Place\u201d and it is the greatest pain we all carry.\u00a0The voices in these spells say things like, \u201cEverybody else does \u2018it\u2019 better than me. Nothing ever works out. I will never get better. It is hopeless. I don\u2019t matter to anyone.\u201d\u00a0 We have spent our lives running away from these spells, but in doing so, they are actually running us from underneath our everyday awareness and when we don\u2019t know how to turn and be with them, they take us to the place we call depression.<\/p>\n

What would it be like if you just shifted from \u201cI am unlovable\u201d to \u201cThe Unlovable One is here.\u201d\u00a0 It is an invitation to say hello to this part of you that has secretly felt unlovable for a long time.\u00a0 Say hello to \u201cI haven\u2019t done it right enough.\u201d\u00a0Say hello to \u201cI don\u2019t matter to anyone else.\u201d\u00a0 Can you feel the pain of these parts of yourself?\u00a0 As you shift your way of thinking, you begin to relate to<\/em> your experience rather than from<\/em> it.\u00a0The \u201cI Don\u2019t Matter\u201d One is not who you are.\u00a0 The Unlovable One is not who you are.\u00a0You are that which can see and be with the parts of you that feel pressed down and despondent.<\/p>\n

During the process of awakening, it takes a while before you can get space around the deep \u201cNo Way Out Place.\u201d\u00a0That is the combination of the three hidden spells.\u00a0 The voices say, \u201cThere is no use.\u00a0It is never going to work out.\u00a0I am always going to be alone.\u00a0Nothing is ever going to be different. I am always going to feel like this.\u201d\u00a0 It takes a while to be able to say hello to these parts that feel hopeless and helpless.\u00a0We all carry these parts in varying degrees.\u00a0 When you try to outrun them (like most people do), you are half alive.<\/p>\n

The only way that you can set yourself free from these despairing voices in your head is to say, \u201chello\u201d to them.\u00a0 These parts are just like you, they want to be heard.\u00a0 And as they are heard, they begin to open up again, just like you do when a friend listens to you rather than judging, ignoring or trying to fix you (which is what we usually do with these spells).\u00a0 When you say hello to whatever is there, acknowledge it, befriend it, and keep it company, you begin to create space around your \u201cNo Way Out Place.\u201d\u00a0 Each hello is like a little stone in a path. Slowly and surely, the path gets strong enough that you can walk right out of the conditioned self and back into who you truly are.<\/p>\n

So, ask yourself, are you willing to live your life half alive, or do you want to be fully alive?\u00a0Then say “hello” to these old spells that crush the joy out of your life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you look at the word depression, it literally means \u201cto press down.\u201d When you can say to yourself, \u201cOh, the Depressed One is here\u201d rather than \u201cI am depressed,\u201d it can wake up your curiosity about what is really going on. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9028,"featured_media":37012,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[33,32,21,6],"tags":[4700,1743,2290,342,2010,1628,4642,4697,82,4742,2043,4641,109,4699,4063,280,51,4741,2025,3786,4698,81,66,4629,4176,274],"yoast_head":"\nHow To Free Yourself From The "No Way Out Place"<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"If you look at the word depression, it literally means \u201cto press down.\u201d When you can say to yourself, \u201cOh, the Depressed One is here\u201d rather than \u201cI am depressed,\u201d it can wake up your curiosity about what is really going on.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" 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