{"id":36484,"date":"2015-11-08T10:04:02","date_gmt":"2015-11-08T18:04:02","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=36484"},"modified":"2015-11-10T14:30:57","modified_gmt":"2015-11-10T22:30:57","slug":"make-ordinary-extraordinary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/make-ordinary-extraordinary\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Make the Ordinary Extraordinary"},"content":{"rendered":"
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You\u2019ve just ordered a top sirloin at a five star restaurant and the waiter brings you prime rib. \u00a0Or you arrive on time for your reservation and still have to wait 20 minutes to get a table. \u00a0Or you ask for a beer with your dinner and, after you\u2019ve reminded the waiter twice, he informs you as you\u2019re finishing off your entree that the restaurant is out of your selection. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Do you complain to the manager, or do you wax philosophic and chalk up the experience to the vagaries of life?<\/span><\/p>\n

It may depend on whether you are dining cross-country or dining across town.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s what <\/span>researchers<\/span><\/a> from Temple University, Arizona State University, and the University of Minnesota concluded when they studied a cross-section of restaurant reviews: we\u2019re more likely to be critical of establishments when we\u2019re closer to home than we are when we\u2019re on the road.<\/span><\/p>\n

The question, of course, is <\/span>why<\/span><\/i>?<\/span><\/p>\n

According to NPR\u2019s Shankar Vedantam, it may be that we acquire an entirely different outlook when we travel. \u00a0It\u2019s not only that we expect the unexpected; we may actually <\/span>welcome <\/span><\/i>it as part of the novelty that makes us want to travel in the first place.<\/span><\/p>\n

Conversely, our higher standards at home derive from the familiarity of our surroundings and our subconscious prediction that the future will conform to what we\u2019ve experienced in the past. \u00a0We are less receptive to variation when we\u2019re on home turf, since we think we know what\u2019s coming, whereas the spirit of adventure we feel on the road makes us more flexible and adaptable, more able to focus on what we like and filter out anything that doesn\u2019t go our way.<\/span><\/p>\n

REWRITING OUR PASTS<\/b><\/p>\n

Another possible explanation is that we <\/span>want <\/span><\/i>to romanticize our adventures. \u00a0If we\u2019ve traveled hundreds or thousands of miles, we don\u2019t want to think of our trip as wasted or ill-spent, so we subconsciously augment our experiences in order to remember them as having been worth the trouble and the cost. \u00a0Closer to home, we want to learn from our mistakes so that we won\u2019t repeat them; therefore, the negatives may stand out and overshadow the good.<\/span><\/p>\n

All of which may provide us with an insight that extends far beyond going out to eat.<\/span><\/p>\n

Consider the buzz that surrounds visiting speakers, visiting bands, visiting theater groups, and visiting comics. \u00a0If a celebrity arrives from out of town, how much more excitement is generated than we find by any local personality?<\/span><\/p>\n

Certainly, there\u2019s no guarantee that the out-of-towner will prove more engaging or enthralling than someone homegrown. \u00a0But the buzz of excitement stems from the transience of the opportunity. \u00a0This is something new. \u00a0This is something out of the ordinary. \u00a0This is a once-in-a-lifetime chance.<\/span><\/p>\n

Will it live up to the buzz? \u00a0Our subconscious minds are determined to make sure that it will.<\/span><\/p>\n

That can be a good thing. \u00a0We enjoy our experiences more because we\u2019re more invested in having them turn out well. \u00a0Our anticipation is heightened before and we retain more pleasant memories after, improving our moods and increasing our feelings of joy and satisfaction.<\/span><\/p>\n

CREATING THE WINTERS OF OUR DISCONTENT<\/b><\/p>\n

But then there\u2019s the flip side. \u00a0 And since most of life <\/span>is <\/span><\/i>routine, it\u2019s oh-so-easy to allow dark clouds to gather over our disposition and color everything in our lives with dreary shades of gray.<\/span><\/p>\n

We get bored with our jobs, with our clothes, with our cars, with our homes. \u00a0We grow indifferent towards our spouses and resentful of their imperfections, until our eyes begin to wander and our minds begin wonder if we wouldn\u2019t be happier with someone or something else. \u00a0We become frustrated with our kids and wish they would stop demanding so much of the time and energy that we want to invest in living our lives.<\/span><\/p>\n

The sad truth is that we end up missing out on our lives because we don\u2019t recognize the novelty of each new day, we don\u2019t appreciate the value of the predictable, we don\u2019t cherish the gift of the ordinary. \u00a0When we can\u2019t escape to faraway places, we escape into the fantasy of movies and television, of video games and romantic novels. \u00a0We trade the solid satisfaction of the real for the whimsical dreams of our imagination.<\/span><\/p>\n

In the worst scenarios, we trade reality for fantasy and end up left with nothing at all.<\/span><\/p>\n

So how do we keep the familiar from becoming contemptible? \u00a0How do we bring a sense of newness and freshness into our humdrum lives?<\/span><\/p>\n

STOP AND SEE THE DAISIES<\/b><\/p>\n

Back in the fifties, a rabbinic scholar took his first trip on a jet plane. \u00a0Outside the cabin window, he beheld the curvature of the earth, the clouds and the sea, and the sunrise blazing over the horizon from the darkness of the heavens. \u00a0When he returned home, he told his rabbi how inspired he had been, and how he felt he had come face to face with the Divine Presence.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI know just what you mean,\u201d his rabbi replied. \u00a0\u201cI feel exactly the same way every time I see a daisy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Sure, there are plenty of ways we can spice up the ordinary. \u00a0Candlelit dinners, moonlight walks in the park, drives in the countryside, family get-togethers, and spontaneous little adventures.<\/span><\/p>\n

But we make a mistake when we value the extraordinary over the ordinary. \u00a0True, gravy makes the turkey taste better, icing sweetens the cake, and a gleaming paint job fills us with pleasure as we get into the car. \u00a0But would we ever want gravy without the turkey or icing without the cake? \u00a0And how much pleasure do we find in the polished paint job when the engine won\u2019t turn over? \u00a0We get so caught up in the extras that we forget about what really gives substance and meaning to our existence.<\/span><\/p>\n

The best way to keep our lives fresh is not by changing our lives but by changing the way we look at the events that fill our lives. \u00a0To spend a few moments each morning and evening giving thanks for our husbands, wives, children, parents, families, and friends; to recount the blessings of good health, a job, food on our table, a roof over our heads; to reflect upon our modest but meaningful accomplishments and to take pleasure in the little ways we contribute to our world and make it a better place, even as we look ahead toward greater accomplishments and the legacy we hope to leave behind.<\/span><\/p>\n

Life isn\u2019t meant to be a party. \u00a0It\u2019s meant to be something better, something that lasts, something that continues to fill us with joy when the parties are all over, after the fireworks are finished, once we\u2019ve paid the check for dinner and return to the routine we share with the people we love.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rabbi Yonason Goldson<\/span><\/a>, a talmudic scholar and radio personality, is a former hitchhiker, circumnavigator, and newspaper columnist who lives with his wife in St. Louis, Missouri. \u00a0His new book is <\/span>Proverbial Beauty<\/span><\/i>: \u00a0<\/span>Secrets for Success and Happiness from the Wisdom of the Ages<\/span><\/i><\/a>, a marriage of King Solomon\u2019s proverbs with the mysterious beauty of the Mona Lisa in a lyrical medley of the human experience.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Our dissatisfaction with the routine, with the ordinary, with the day-to-day can sour our outlook on life whenever we aren\u2019t involved in novelty. 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