{"id":35727,"date":"2015-09-30T23:12:31","date_gmt":"2015-10-01T07:12:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=35727"},"modified":"2015-10-06T21:09:04","modified_gmt":"2015-10-07T05:09:04","slug":"interrupt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/interrupt\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Interrupt"},"content":{"rendered":"
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In a recent conversation with a new client I told him that, after speaking with his stakeholders, I learned that 1) they value him tremendously and 2) he has some work to do in the area of listening. He’s a brilliant person whose brain works incredibly fast. In conversation, he becomes impatient and sometimes jumps in to finish others\u2019 sentences.<\/p>\n

He took the feedback very seriously and said \u201cI’m going to go out right after we\u2019re done talking and thank people for the feedback. And I’ll tell them I\u2019m committed to not interrupting.”<\/p>\n

I said, “Hold on. I never said you shouldn’t interrupt. In fact I want <\/em>you to interrupt but I want you to do it very differently.”<\/p>\n

The upside of Interrupting<\/strong><\/p>\n

I recently watched an interview where the interviewer cut off the speaker and said \u201cI interrupt with love.\u201d And he meant it. He was so curious about the point she just made that he wanted to understand more.<\/p>\n

Done well, interrupting can deepen understanding and improve relationships. Done poorly, it does the opposite.<\/p>\n

2 Ways NOT to Interrupt<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. Finishing Sentences<\/p>\n

Remember how it felt when someone cut you off and then finished your thought for you? If it was someone very close to you, you might have had a feeling that you two understood each other very well. In a work setting, or in a heated discussion, you probably felt like the interrupter was rude, impatient, and didn\u2019t have any idea what you really felt.<\/p>\n

2. To talk about yourself<\/p>\n

Have you ever had anyone interrupt you and then co-opt the conversation? Maybe you were sharing a story about a difficulty you were having when they said \u201cOh, I\u2019ve been there\u2026\u201d and then proceeded to talk for several minutes about their past.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not saying you shouldn\u2019t share when you find commonality. Just do it mindfully. Done well, sharing about things you have in common or your own fallibilities, can improve relationships. Just keep the focus on them.<\/p>\n

Four Reasons to Skillfully Interrupt <\/strong><\/p>\n

If you want others to see you as curious and interested, you have to ask questions. And often, you have to interrupt to create space for your question\u2014especially if your conversation partner likes to talk.<\/p>\n

Do Interrupt: <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

1. When you want to ensure understanding<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cExcuse me. I just want to make sure I understand. It sounds like the problem we\u2019re trying to solve is\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

2. To help them clarify their thinking<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI apologize for interrupting. I just want to make sure I understand. It sounds like your goal is\u2026.and your biggest concerns are\u2026. Did I get that right?<\/p>\n

3. Because you\u2019re genuinely curious<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWait. What do you mean that you went through a dark period?\u201d or \u201cHold on. How could you tell that he was bored in your meeting?\u201d \u201cWow, can we take a step back. You just made a really interesting point. How did you come to that conclusion?\u201d<\/p>\n

4. To facilitate a productive conversation<\/strong>. Sometimes, interrupting is the best way to get a conversation back and track. Meetings without skillful, facilitative interruption turn into chaotic wastes of time.<\/p>\n