{"id":352,"date":"2008-02-25T06:00:35","date_gmt":"2008-02-25T10:00:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/meaningful-conversations\/"},"modified":"2013-08-15T14:49:18","modified_gmt":"2013-08-15T22:49:18","slug":"meaningful-conversations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/meaningful-conversations\/","title":{"rendered":"A Guide to Having More Meaningful Conversations"},"content":{"rendered":"
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You can really feel the difference a genuine conversation makes. I\u2019ve left some talks feeling invigorated with new ideas. Others I have left feeling that I’ve just lost twenty minutes of my life that I will never get back. So how do you create more meaningful conversations and avoid the small talk that drains life away?<\/p>\n

Although there are a lot of elements that go into a good conversation, I\u2019ve found that there are only two rules that are extremely important:
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  1. The conversation is not about you.<\/li>\n
  2. You need to give trust to get trust.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Keeping these two rules in mind won\u2019t make all of your chats life changing, but they have helped me enjoy more meaningful conversations.<\/p>\n

    Rule One: The Conversation is Not About You<\/h2>\n

    As a species, we\u2019re incredibly self-absorbed. I\u2019m sure I\u2019m a fairly average person, and I would wager that a good 85{54c12dad2cc2b53ae830e39915b1a3e70288dbcbbeb8bbf8395437c5dc3c512c} of my thoughts are only about me. My problems. My work. My entertainment. My life.<\/p>\n

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    I\u2019d guess for another 10{54c12dad2cc2b53ae830e39915b1a3e70288dbcbbeb8bbf8395437c5dc3c512c} of the time I spend thinking, I think of other people. But during this chunk I\u2019m only thinking about how those relationships apply to me. What do my friends think of me? Who would I like to spend time with today? My relationships.<\/p>\n

    Only about 5{54c12dad2cc2b53ae830e39915b1a3e70288dbcbbeb8bbf8395437c5dc3c512c} of my time would be spent thinking about others from their perspective. This rare occasion is called empathy, and I\u2019d guess that even the most empathetic of us wouldn\u2019t spend more than 5-10{54c12dad2cc2b53ae830e39915b1a3e70288dbcbbeb8bbf8395437c5dc3c512c} of their time in this state of mind. Seeing as only 5{54c12dad2cc2b53ae830e39915b1a3e70288dbcbbeb8bbf8395437c5dc3c512c} of my energy is devoted to thinking about your thoughts, you begin to get a picture of where my interests are.<\/p>\n

    Since only a few percentage points are devoted to empathy, a quick way to ruin conversations is to talk non-stop about yourself. Here are a few better subject matters that create more meaningful conversations:<\/p>\n