{"id":34977,"date":"2015-08-24T07:27:05","date_gmt":"2015-08-24T15:27:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=34977"},"modified":"2015-08-26T10:49:48","modified_gmt":"2015-08-26T18:49:48","slug":"take-charge-moods-choices","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/take-charge-moods-choices\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Take Charge of Your Moods and Your Choices"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/p>\n

Why does Alaska have the highest rate of organ donation in the country? \u00a0It might have something to do with Sarah Palin.<\/p>\n

Most of us confront the question of whether or not we want our organs harvested every time we apply for a new driver\u2019s license. \u00a0Typically, we have to choose between checking a box if we want to be donors or leaving the box empty if we don\u2019t.<\/p>\n

This is how most donor forms were designed. Then researchers wondered what they could do to increase the number of participants. \u00a0They came up with the bright idea of giving people a choice between two boxes: \u00a0mark the yes <\/em>box to donate, mark the no <\/em>box to decline. \u00a0The reasoning went this way: \u00a0if people can opt out passively, then they\u2019re not necessarily thinking about the choice in front of them, whereas having to choose one way or the other will force them to consider their options more carefully, resulting in more affirmatives.<\/p>\n

The reasoning makes perfect sense. \u00a0However, people are not always reasonable.<\/p>\n

According to NPR\u2019s Shankar Vedantam<\/a>, that\u2019s what Judd Kessler of the Wharton School and Alvin Roth of Stanford discovered when they tested applicants in California and Massachusetts. \u00a0Contrary to expectations, the open-ended option encouraged greater participation; forcing people to choose yes-<\/em>or-no <\/em>made the number of donors drop.<\/p>\n

The question, of course, is why<\/em>?<\/p>\n

WHO\u2019S IN CHARGE HERE?<\/p>\n

Have you ever had the experience of someone telling you to do something you\u2019ve already made up your mind that you want to do? \u00a0If you\u2019re like most people, you probably decided in the next instant that you no longer wanted to do it.<\/p>\n

The reason is obvious. \u00a0Human beings are creatures of ego. \u00a0We don\u2019t like being told what to do. \u00a0We want to be in charge. \u00a0The moment someone asserts command over us, our sense of independence pushes us in the other direction. \u00a0This explains why manipulation through reverse psychology can be so effective (as long as it isn\u2019t recognized for what it is).<\/p>\n

In the case of organ donation, the open-ended choice allowed people to feel that they were making a choice that was truly theirs. \u00a0When forced to choose between alternatives, people may have felt pressured to participate and reflexively resisted by opting out.<\/p>\n

LESSON #1<\/p>\n

So here\u2019s the takeaway. \u00a0If you feel backed into a corner, your natural reaction will be to push back. \u00a0But just because we\u2019re being pressured doesn\u2019t mean that the choice is a bad one. \u00a0Surrendering before external pressure because we\u2019re weak or timid is no worse than digging in our heels because we\u2019re too stubborn to relinquish control.<\/p>\n

Therefore, whenever you feel under pressure, take a step back and look at your options objectively. \u00a0Try to separate the choice from the situation.\u00a0 By recognizing that emotions may be clouding your thinking, you have a better chance of neutralizing their influence over how you ultimately decide.<\/p>\n

We can apply same strategy when working with others as well. \u00a0If you want to influence other people to make better choices, be a consultant: \u00a0present the options with as little pressure as possible. \u00a0As long as people feel in charge of their own decision making process, they\u2019re less likely to circle the wagons to protect the status quo.<\/p>\n

TIME TO THINK<\/p>\n

But Doctor Kessler discovered something else as well. \u00a0When subjects who had already made their choices one way or the other were later offered a chance to change their donor status, they were 22 times more likely to opt in than to opt out. \u00a0Doctor Kessler believes that when we have to make decisions we haven\u2019t had time to think through, we\u2019re much more likely to err on the side of caution. \u00a0But give us time to consider, and we\u2019re more likely to follow our hearts.<\/p>\n

(No pun intended.)<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not surprising that more deliberation leads to more carefully thought-out decisions. \u00a0But it does offer a further insight into the workings of the human ego.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s another experience you may have had. \u00a0You\u2019re deep into a heated debate, growing more passionate by the minute, when it suddenly dawns upon you that you\u2019re actually wrong and that your antagonist is right. \u00a0Do you a) immediately concede the point, or b) start arguing even more vociferously?<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re like most people, you\u2019ve gotten way too invested in your position by that point to back down now. \u00a0The realization that you\u2019ve been wrong all along only prods you to save face by fighting harder to win.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s okay to be wrong, okay to change your mind, okay to admit error. \u00a0Much better, in fact, to acknowledge one\u2019s own mistake than to have someone else discover it and bring it to light.<\/p>\n

But our willingness to concede error decreases in proportion to the intensity of our emotions. \u00a0Conversely, the more comfortable we feel when considering the alternatives before us, the more likely we are to see different alternatives with equal clarity and objectivity. \u00a0Even when that means we may have to admit we were wrong.<\/p>\n

LESSON #2<\/p>\n

So avoid acting in the heat of the moment; take your time and keep cool. \u00a0Let ideas percolate before putting them into practice, whether you\u2019re sending off emails, offering criticism to your spouse, or making career decisions. \u00a0And all the more so when it comes to tattoos and casual dalliances. \u00a0Act in haste, repent at leisure <\/em>is a clich\u00e9 for good reason.<\/p>\n

IN THE MOOD<\/p>\n

So what does all this have to do with Sarah Palin?<\/p>\n

Well, not that much, really. \u00a0But it does have something to do with petroleum and drilling in the Alaskan wilderness.<\/p>\n

The state of Alaska has vast territory, few people, and massive reserves of oil. \u00a0Since 1976, every resident receives a dividend from state oil revenues which, in 2014, put $1884 in each person\u2019s pocket.<\/p>\n

So when do you think the Alaska government asks people whether or not they want to be organ donors? \u00a0That\u2019s right — in the same envelopes that contain their annual oil dividends.<\/p>\n

Now ask yourself this: \u00a0when would you be more likely to make some magnanimous gesture toward helping others — as you open up a check for a thousand dollars or after standing in line for half an hour and having to contend with governmental bureaucracy?<\/p>\n

LESSON #3<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a no-brainer. \u00a0We all want to be good, want to be kind, want to be giving. \u00a0We all want to the right thing and consider ourselves good people.<\/p>\n

So when it comes to decision-making, we can do better by creating <\/em>the circumstances that produce better decisions, both for ourselves and others<\/p>\n

Want to sell your house? \u00a0Make sure you have chocolate chip cookies baking in the over when prospective buyers show up at the door. \u00a0Want to ask your boss for a raise? \u00a0Try to time your request to coincide with his son making the dean\u2019s list or his daughter\u2019s engagement.<\/p>\n

And what puts you <\/em>in a good mood? \u00a0Mellow music, inspirational stories, walks in the park, phone calls to the kids, a clever email, the company of friends\u2026 any of these is only an arm\u2019s reach away, and any one of them can instantaneously dispel frustration at work, stress over money, fear of national security, and disgust with politicians. \u00a0Sure, we should listen to the news enough to know what\u2019s going on, but too much involvement in the problems of the world is poison to the soul.<\/p>\n

But we can do even more than that. \u00a0In a brilliantly entertaining and informative Ted Talk<\/a>, psychologist Shawn Achor outlines a simple formula for transforming our brains to become more optimistic and generally positive:<\/p>\n

Gratitude<\/strong>. \u00a0Research shows that writing down three new reasons for being grateful every day for three weeks rewires the brain to see the world through a brighter lens.<\/p>\n

Journaling<\/strong>. \u00a0Writing about one positive experience in the last 24 hours allows your brain to reexperience the event. \u00a0Instead of adding layers of bitterness by reliving unpleasant incidents, we can add sweetness to our lives by revisiting the good things that happen to us.<\/p>\n

Exercise<\/strong>. \u00a0Taking care of our bodies makes us more disciplined and reinforces our awareness that behavior matters.<\/p>\n

Meditation<\/strong>. \u00a0Focusing on single, simple thoughts is the best antidote to our overloaded, over-scheduled, over-stimulated lives.<\/p>\n

Random Acts of Kindness<\/strong>. \u00a0Something as small as sending an appreciative email once a day can reframe our outlook and extend feelings of positivity to others.<\/p>\n

Instead of waiting for happiness to happen to us, we need to go out and create it for ourselves. \u00a0When we do, we will make better decisions, enjoy greater success, and bring greater joy to the people around us and to the world.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A note of full disclosure: \u00a0the author does not participate in organ donation for religious reasons, but has only respect and admiration for those who do.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rabbi Yonason Goldson<\/a>, a talmudic scholar and former hitchhiker, circumnavigator, and newspaper columnist, lives with his wife in St. Louis, Missouri, where he teaches, writes, and lectures. \u00a0\u00a0Request the first four chapters of his new book Proverbial Beauty: \u00a0Secrets for Success and Happiness from the Wisdom of the Ages<\/a> at this link for free or order now on Amazon<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s okay to be wrong, okay to change your mind, okay to admit error. Much better, in fact, to acknowledge one\u2019s own mistake than to have someone else discover it and bring it to light. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":35131,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[205,32,9,6],"tags":[1615,4641,4569,4570,4631,66,4629],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Take Charge of Your moods and Your Choices<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It\u2019s okay to be wrong, okay to change your mind, okay to admit error. 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