{"id":3489,"date":"2011-03-31T11:04:11","date_gmt":"2011-03-31T19:04:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=3489"},"modified":"2013-09-09T09:28:17","modified_gmt":"2013-09-09T17:28:17","slug":"youre-doing-it-wrong-3-simple-steps-to-anger-management","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/youre-doing-it-wrong-3-simple-steps-to-anger-management\/","title":{"rendered":"Day 1: You\u2019re Doing It Wrong! 3 Simple Steps To Anger Management"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/a><\/p>\n

My 11-year-old daughter gets furious with her older brother at least 67 times a day.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s always the same: \u201cWell he did ______ , so that\u2019s why I\u2019m ________.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sound familiar?<\/p>\n

It should.<\/p>\n

I guarantee you\u2019ve had the same conversation with yourself at least once this week. Life sets you on the wrong side of injustice (probably more than you\u2019d like), but you should never allow another person\u2019s issue or mood to affect your own.<\/p>\n

Change Your Focus:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Time spent wondering what you did to deserve their negative reaction is time spent neglecting yourself. See life as a play, and all the people, good and bad, who step on the stage of YOUR life are actors in YOUR story.<\/p>\n

A few years back, I divorced my college sweetheart after an 18-year-relationship.\u00a0 We did our best, but it was much harder than either of us imagined. I slowly shifted my thinking until I began to see him as an actor in my play. Whenever feelings of irritation, anger or sadness would surface, I\u2019d focus on what he could be teaching <\/em>me.<\/p>\n

With a change in focus, I was no longer concerned about what he could do differently, or the ways in which he could improve.<\/p>\n

When you focus on the reaction instead of the trigger, you are more in touch with the emotions welling inside you. Don\u2019t be a puppet, have the confidence to start singing, dancing, and enjoying a life that\u2019s fueled by your own engine. Empower yourself with the understanding that your gas should never be the approval, love or acceptance of other people.<\/p>\n

You are your own sun. Always.<\/p>\n

Try this simple step process I call Face, Embrace, and Erase<\/strong> to transform uncomfortable feelings into peace, love and clarity\u2026for YOU.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Face <\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Face your feelings. Don\u2019t focus on who made you feel the way you\u2019re feeling, but be aware of your emotions (especially if you expect to redirect them).<\/p>\n

If your boat was flooding with water, you\u2019d care about plugging the leak, not who made the hole. Own your feelings. No matter who may have helped you into a negative state, the only one who can change it is you.<\/p>\n

Embrace<\/strong><\/p>\n

Embrace your feelings by internally thanking the other person or situation for triggering your emotions.<\/p>\n

Sound crazy?<\/p>\n

At their core, most people have a fear of not being good enough, or that they aren\u2019t truly loved. But in gratitude there can be no fear. See the other person as your child, or as your child self. Experience what they are feeling.<\/p>\n

Instead of focusing on what they did to trigger you, understand how bad they must feel inside to be acting out. It\u2019s really not about you, it\u2019s about them and their internal pain.<\/p>\n

Once you thank them for helping you surface deep-rooted feelings, you can diffuse their power by accepting them as a part of you.<\/p>\n

Erase<\/strong><\/p>\n

Once you\u2019ve faced and embraced your feelings (and thanked the person who brought them to you), you can lay the rest down. There\u2019s really nothing else to do.<\/p>\n

Reaction will only bring more negative energy to the situation. Turning a blind eye is telling yourself you aren\u2019t worthy of more. But facing and embracing can eliminate the worst without any effort from you.<\/p>\n

Keeping the focus on you means loving yourself. No one is perfect, and m<\/p>\n

ost people do their best with what they have. Love yourself for every thing you do right and every thing you do wrong\u2026because that\u2019s what makes you, YOU.<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

The FREE PickTheBrain “90 Days to a Better You” eCourse was built to give you more confidence than you ever thought possible. You get one confidence boosting email a day, a motivational quote, and a photo to inspire you – all for Free<\/p>\n

Join us today…<\/p>\n

<\/form>\n<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n

Lori Taylor is a <\/em>direct marketing specialist<\/em><\/a> and <\/em>personal development writer.<\/em><\/a> Follow her on <\/em>Twitter<\/em><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Time spent wondering what you did to deserve their negative reaction is time spent neglecting yourself. See life as a play, and all the people, good and bad, who step on the stage of YOUR life are actors in YOUR story. 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