{"id":34026,"date":"2015-07-21T10:41:26","date_gmt":"2015-07-21T18:41:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=34026"},"modified":"2015-07-23T07:32:11","modified_gmt":"2015-07-23T15:32:11","slug":"power-saying-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/power-saying-no\/","title":{"rendered":"The Power of Saying “No”"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/p>\n

I<\/strong> am an extrovert. \u00a0I love people and I love happy environments. \u00a0In fact, I would say I\u2019m an addict. \u00a0Yes, I am addicted to the fun-loving, carefree moments that I find when I am making other people happy. \u00a0So much so that it’s dangerous.<\/p>\n

You may be wondering how making other people happy is a bad thing. \u00a0Well, let me tell you.<\/p>\n

I first realized I had a problem when I found myself sitting in a coffee shop at 1:30 am next to a boy I was in love with helping him with his homework. \u00a0In my mind I was just helping him and later on he would repay the favor by taking me out to eat or somewhere to have fun. \u00a0It was totally justified that as long as I was helping him with school he would be there to help me have fun. But I was being robbed.<\/p>\n

If I had been smarter or had a third party perspective I would have seen that I was blinded by my love for him and my desire to make him happy. \u00a0He didn\u2019t love me back, I was basically a tutor that he paid in nights out. \u00a0If anything he thought of me as a friend while I thought of him as the sun. \u00a0I said \u201cyes\u201d everytime he needed something. \u00a0I jumped out of bed at weird hours of the night to see him. \u00a0I met him on his watch and by his request all to make him feel good about himself but all it did was wear me down.<\/p>\n

Sitting in this coffee shop at nearly 2 a.m. I knew that waking up for work 5 hours later would be painful and that I wasn\u2019t benefiting from this study session and that if I had said \u201cno\u201d to this boy when I knew I should be in bed, that he might find a reason to be unhappy with me and not want to keep me around. \u00a0These were unhealthy feelings.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u201d holds an incredible amount of power in two letters. They demand respect. \u00a0They tell others \u201cNo, you can\u2019t walk all over me\u201d and \u201cNo, I don\u2019t want to follow your every move\u201d. \u00a0However, I spent a lot of my days feeling more like I was saying \u201cNo, I don\u2019t want to make you happy.\u201d \u00a0But that wasn\u2019t true.<\/p>\n

When we say \u201cyes\u201d to everyone we don\u2019t have time for ourselves. \u00a0Many people have shared the sentiment that you can\u2019t love someone until you love yourself first and in many cases that means putting yourself first. \u00a0Don\u2019t let people take advantage of your kindness. \u00a0If you don\u2019t have time, let them know. \u00a0If you don\u2019t want to do a particular activity, suggest something else or go do what you want to on your own. \u00a0Life’s too short to be living by someone else’s schedule.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo\u201d doesn\u2019t have to be harsh or hurtful. \u00a0Instead think of it as empowering to your self-worth. \u201cNo, I don\u2019t depend on another\u2019s happiness to make me happy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019m not going to spend time on someone who can\u2019t make time for me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, I won\u2019t jump off of a cliff for your entertainment.\u201d<\/p>\n

The beauty that comes from saying \u201cno\u201d is that people will know your boundaries. \u00a0They will know that you have the power to stand up for yourself and that you know your worth and you respect yourself enough to do what is best for you. \u00a0Remember you are powerful. \u00a0You just need the courage to say it.<\/p>\n

——-<\/p>\n

Sarah is the content manager for Obrella.com<\/a>. \u00a0She is a young writer with a love of people and self-motivation. \u00a0She believes that life is a lesson learned and there\u2019s no room for regrets.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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