{"id":33928,"date":"2015-07-15T07:58:56","date_gmt":"2015-07-15T15:58:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=33928"},"modified":"2015-07-17T08:38:47","modified_gmt":"2015-07-17T16:38:47","slug":"7-things-learned-grief-loss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/7-things-learned-grief-loss\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Things I Learned About Grief and Loss"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Let\u2019s begin this with seven things I learned about grief and loss after my mother died.<\/p>\n

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  1. People will ask you all the time, \u201cHow are you doing?\u201d And you will lie each and every time. You will feel miserable on the inside and you will want to break down in tears. But you\u2019ll smile and carry on like nothing is wrong.<\/li>\n
  2. You will feel so very angry at the world. The world will be completely ignorant of your pain and it will flow on as if the person you cherished never even existed. You will have memories of an exceptional individual but no one else will ever no know that. It will make you angry that the world moves on. It will make you even angrier because you have to move on too.<\/li>\n
  3. One day, somewhere, perhaps driving down the road or while shopping for groceries \u2013 you will realize that the person you love is really and truly gone. It will hit you so hard that for a moment you\u2019ll feel like you can\u2019t breathe. Your throat will start to constrict and you will cry. And if you try to stop, you\u2019ll just cry harder. So just go ahead and cry.<\/li>\n
  4. You will go to clean out your loved one\u2019s things. Every time you pick up something, you\u2019ll remember, \u201cThis is the shirt she wore every Christmas.\u201d Or maybe it\u2019ll be something like, \u201cShe really enjoyed this book.\u201d And you will not be able to throw it away. You will try but it won\u2019t happen. And instead, their things will remain there, untouched. You will sit in their room and remember them.<\/li>\n
  5. You will see other people that were close to your loved one. They will seem happy. They will carry on with their lives and act as if nothing has even changed. You will watch them and wonder, \u201cDo they even care?\u201d<\/li>\n
  6. You will visit your loved one\u2019s graveside quite frequently. You will leave flowers and you will talk their tombstone. You will talk to them as if they have never left. But they will not answer you. And you will wonder, \u201cWhat I am doing here?\u201d<\/li>\n
  7. You will resist the urge to seek counseling. You will fight it because you will feel that you are ok. You will think that you are strong enough to deal with everything on your own. But the reality is this \u2013 you are not ok. It\u2019s alright to admit that you need help.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    You may have lost a loved one and none of my experiences may match yours. That\u2019s ok. Everyone experiences their grief in a different way. Some people are able to accept the loss and have a relatively short grieving period. That doesn\u2019t make them wrong. Some people may feel a myriad of different emotions and have an exceptionally longer grieving period. And that\u2019s normal too.<\/p>\n

    There is no time limit on grief.<\/p>\n

    Grief is an individual experience. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. There is really only one key point and that is to make sure that you handle your grief in a healthy way.<\/p>\n

    Here are a few tips to help make sure that handling your grief in a positive way.<\/p>\n