{"id":33705,"date":"2015-07-03T20:39:32","date_gmt":"2015-07-04T04:39:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=33705"},"modified":"2015-07-07T20:51:52","modified_gmt":"2015-07-08T04:51:52","slug":"can-you-choose-to-be-happy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/can-you-choose-to-be-happy\/","title":{"rendered":"Can You Choose To Be Happy?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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I was depressed. I was very depressed.\u00a0 I had tried medication and found the side effects too high a price to pay for joy.\u00a0 I had tried yoga and meditation and found that I couldn\u2019t count on either practice to generate the joy I sought on a consistent basis. I had subjected myself to blood tests and discovered anemia and hypothyroidism were definitely affecting my mood.\u00a0 I had been taking supplements to correct those imbalances and seen a marked improvement. Still, the holidays of 2014 put me into what had become an annual funk. My confidence had gone underground, and I was struggling to appreciate the good in my life. I was tired of it. I wanted to empower myself, and so one January morning, I decided: \u201cI will be happy no matter what.\u201d<\/p>\n

Choosing to be happy changed everything. It wasn\u2019t a switch; making the choice didn\u2019t create automatic joy. Instead, in choosing to be happy, I committed to find ways to make it happen daily.\u00a0 It worked for me, and I believe it can work for you, too.\u00a0 Here\u2019s my recipe for consistent happiness:<\/p>\n

Focus on the good stuff. \u00a0<\/strong><\/h1>\n

Contrary to how it might sound, focusing on the good stuff does not simply mean making lists of gratitude.\u00a0 Sometimes I find that practice helpful; sometimes not.<\/p>\n

Rather, for me, focusing on the good stuff means blocking out the bad stuff. Is there a very good reason for me to know about the latest mass shooting? I don\u2019t think so. My rule is: if I can\u2019t find an inspiring aspect of a given event, and if I can\u2019t effect change for the better in a given situation, I don\u2019t need to know about it.\u00a0 Therefore, I spend very little time reading news reports.<\/p>\n

Still, focusing on the good stuff doesn\u2019t mean I put my head in the sand. With my teenaged daughter, I sleep at a women\u2019s shelter about once a month. We help ensure the women and their children are safe, have what they need, can get their medications and have someone to talk to.\u00a0 Seeing these women move from helplessness to hope, and being a part of that in some small way, is both inspiring and empowering.\u00a0 It\u2019s also a poignant reminder of how blessed I am to have a healthy, loving family, and a basically stable life.<\/p>\n

Set a personally meaningful goal.<\/strong><\/h1>\n

According to positive psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar<\/a>, people who set goals that they find personally meaningful are happier. Some people find great fulfillment training for and ultimately running marathons. For me, running a marathon would be neither fulfilling nor fun; it would be torture.\u00a0 I set goals in the form of challenging and engaging projects.<\/p>\n

This winter, I chose two projects.\u00a0 The first was to write a story.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t sure how long the story would be, but since I wanted to complete the first draft by April 30th<\/span><\/span>, I committed to writing every morning for at least one hour until it was finished. To do this, I altered my rising time to 5:00 a.m.<\/span><\/span>, so I could be done early enough to handle my other responsibilities. I completed my 46,000-word novella in early April, and have been seeking the critique of trusted readers since then. Editing will be phase two of this project.<\/p>\n

The second project was to create a meditation aid and find a way to sell it. This project has turned into a business, and my work with it is ongoing and quite fulfilling.<\/p>\n

Find a coach.<\/strong><\/h1>\n

Life coaches come in many shapes and sizes; from executive business coaches to spiritual coaches. Coaching differs from therapy in its approach; a coach will help you move toward your goals and will spend little to no time assessing how long-past events have shaped your life.<\/p>\n

Ideally, you will find a personal life coach<\/a> with whom you can spend significant time focusing on your path and your pursuits.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have the money for that, but through a series of synchronous events, I discovered Brian Johnson\u2019s <\/a>5-day Optimal Living coaching call, which included access to a monthly follow-up call.\u00a0 This was incredibly empowering and offered me exactly what I needed, when I needed it.<\/p>\n

Listen to motivational speakers and read uplifting material that resonates with you.<\/p>\n

If you haven\u2019t already found a motivational speaker you love, visit TED.com and click on a topic that interests you.\u00a0 There are so many inspiring people in the world, and it seems most of them gather at the TED conferences!\u00a0 You\u2019ll also find a great community of inspiring people and organizations on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram.\u00a0 Just search with hashtags about subjects you love. \u00a0(My top searches are #Art, #SocialEntrepreneur, \u00a0#MeditateEverywhere and #Yoga.)<\/p>\n

Meditate<\/strong><\/h1>\n

Meditation can take many forms, and I\u2019ve written more extensively about the subject on my own blog, \u201cBliss & Wisdom<\/a>\u201d.\u00a0 While the practice of meditation alone may not always boost your mood, it is proven to promote relaxation, which is a key component of joy.\u00a0 Personally, I take twenty minutes to meditate every single morning before my yoga practice.<\/p>\n

Exercise<\/strong><\/h1>\n

\u201cExercise has a profound impact on cognitive abilities<\/a> and mental health,\u201d writes Dr. John Ratey in Spark.\u00a0 Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar makes the claim that any day you do not exercise is a day you may as well have taken a depressant.\u00a0 Our bodies are designed to move, not sit.<\/p>\n

There are so many ways to exercise, it should be easy to find one that you love.\u00a0 I practice yoga for twenty or more minutes every day, then do some combination of rowing, cycling and walking for at least 45 minutes per day. I also love to rebound on my mini-trampoline, which offers great aerobic conditioning, as well as lymphatic cleansing.<\/p>\n

Eat food that makes you feel good long term.<\/strong><\/h1>\n

There are myriad variations on the healthiest diet choices. I have tried a few, read about several, and ultimately chosen a dietary path that works for me. For you, I offer this advice: pay close attention to your body. Notice how particular foods affect your physical and mental state, both in the first ten minutes after eating, and in the subsequent hours.\u00a0 Choose foods that boost your energy and your mood not just ten minutes after you consume them, but hours later. It\u2019s easy to get caught in a trap of eating for the moment, only to discover the components of that \u201cfeel good food\u201d are actually having a negative effect. After eating, you should be able to breathe freely and move easily.\u00a0 Symptoms such as headache, bloating, excessive gas, nausea, stuffy nose, irritability, and itchy skin can be caused by foods that don\u2019t jive with your particular physiology.<\/p>\n

The choice is yours.<\/strong><\/h1>\n

It\u2019s easy to forget that how you feel is a choice you make.\u00a0 This morning, for example, I awoke feeling grumpy, annoyed, and sorry for myself.\u00a0 There was no reason for this that I could think of, so I asked myself, \u201cWhy am I upset?\u201d I repeated the question over and over as I went about my morning routine, and then thought up reasons why I might be irritable. After a few minutes, I realized what I had done. Well, would you look at that.\u00a0 I started searching for reasons to be upset, and lo-and-behold I found some! I even dredged up a few old reasons. I think I\u2019ll try looking for reasons to feel good. I really want to feel good today. I want to have fun and feel great.<\/p>\n

Making that simple choice set me on the path I prefer. When I sat down to meditate, I set the intention to feel good, and worked toward it. At the end of twenty minutes, I was starting to feel better. Moving into my yoga practice, I reminded myself of my intention to feel happy. I turned on music I enjoy and started warming up.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not saying there\u2019s no place for sadness, grief, anger or the full range of emotions. Yet, when biochemistry or learned habits keep you down for too long, the repercussions can be serious.\u00a0 Since most of the time there are myriad reasons to experience joy, and since you do have a choice, wouldn\u2019t you rather choose to be happy?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Rebekah L. Fraser<\/a> is a freelance writer whose work has been published by Kripalu\u2019s THRIVE blog, the Christian Science Monitor and Vegetarian Times. She is also a designer, mother, yoga teacher and entrepreneur<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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