{"id":33646,"date":"2015-06-27T11:25:55","date_gmt":"2015-06-27T19:25:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=33646"},"modified":"2015-06-30T21:10:43","modified_gmt":"2015-07-01T05:10:43","slug":"why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Asking Questions is the Key To Personal Success"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/p>\n

Does this sound familiar?<\/p>\n

You\u2019re running out the door to take your wife to the airport, only to discover you have a flat tire. \u00a0You don\u2019t have time to wait for a taxi or the auto club. \u00a0You want to ask your neighbor for a ride, but you\u2019re afraid it\u2019s too much of an imposition.<\/span><\/p>\n

Or\u2026 you see someone on the subway reading a book by your favorite author or about a topic you find fascinating. \u00a0You want to strike up a conversation, but you\u2019re afraid of intruding on the other person\u2019s privacy.<\/span><\/p>\n

Or\u2026 you have a lead on a promising job opportunity, and an acquaintance has dealings with your prospective employer. \u00a0You want to ask her to make an introduction, but you don\u2019t want to put her in an uncomfortable position.<\/span><\/p>\n

Maybe you\u2019re afraid of rejection; maybe you\u2019re afraid of overstepping the bounds of the relationship; maybe you\u2019re afraid of being a pest.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sure, there are boundaries, and sometimes we do cross them. \u00a0So if these scenarios arise often, you might need to examine whether you\u2019re overly needy. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But most of us aren\u2019t looking for such situations; they just happen. \u00a0And when they do, here\u2019s the key: \u00a0just ask!<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

It feels good<\/span><\/h1>\n

There\u2019s a reason why \u201cit never hurts to ask\u201d is such an enduring cliche. \u00a0Most people are more than happy to help a friend in need, to respond to polite solicitations, or to put themselves out for others. It\u2019s a truism of human psychology that we feel better — both about ourselves and about others — when we give than when we take. \u00a0In fact, a study at Canada\u2019s Simon Fraser University<\/span><\/a> found that children as young as two-years-old experienced greater pleasure from giving than they did from getting. \u00a0The impulse to give is hardwired into our nature.<\/span><\/p>\n

So it really is better to give than to receive. \u00a0Consequently, the greatest gift you can give someone else is the opportunity to give.<\/span><\/p>\n

And what\u2019s the worst that can happen? \u00a0If they say no, you\u2019re no worse off than you were before. \u00a0And then you can offer someone else the chance to give.<\/span><\/p>\n

It brings us closer<\/span><\/h1>\n

And if they say yes, you may find that you\u2019ve forged a closer bond or made a new friend. \u00a0Benjamin Franklin described <\/span><\/a>how, after asking to borrow a rare book from a rival in the Pennsylvania legislature, he found that his colleague\u2019s demeanor changed from cool indifference to warm camaraderie. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What\u2019s more, others may actually be wanting us to reach out to them. \u00a0A University of Chicago study <\/span><\/a>showed that commuters on the subway are happier to pass the time chatting with a stranger than sitting in solitude. \u00a0But most of them — most of us — sit in isolation, too worried about how people might react if we violate their space or their privacy.<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s the way of wisdom<\/span><\/h1>\n

Gerry Spence, the exceptionally successful trial lawyer, explains it this way<\/span><\/a>: \u00a0\u201cI have learned [more] from my dogs than from all the great books I have read. The wisdom of my dog is the product of his inability to conceal his wants. There are no games. No professor told me that I might live a more successful life if I simply ask for love\u2026when I needed it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Human beings are social creatures, and we\u2019re at our best when we\u2019re engaging others. \u00a0So why deprive others of the chance engage us? \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And why deprive yourself of the chance to get what you need?<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s key to success<\/span><\/h1>\n

The same principle applies in the workplace. \u00a0We may be afraid that a boss or coworker will interpret a question as a sign of incompetence; in truth, the willingness to ask for help or seek counsel will lead us on the pathway to improved performance and impress others with our team spirit.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cSuccessful people never rest on the belief that they know everything possible,\u201d says bestselling business author Bernard Marr<\/span><\/a>. \u201cThey put a premium on investing in themselves through education and training.\u201d \u00a0And that includes asking for advice when we need it.<\/span><\/p>\n

He then quotes Gandhi: \u00a0“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”<\/span><\/p>\n

You never know<\/span><\/h1>\n

As she was working on Getting There: \u00a0A Book of Mentors<\/i>, Gillian Zoe Segal took inspiration from Sara Blakely, who camped out in reception rooms before convincing a hosiery manufacturer to produce the prototype for Spanx, the product that launched her billion-dollar career. \u00a0Ms. Segal describes how <\/span><\/a>she plucked up the courage to approach Warren Buffett at a charity event and, in 15 seconds, opened the door to an interview with the Oracle of Omaha for her book, which became a bestseller.<\/span><\/p>\n

Does it seem insane to approach one of the world\u2019s richest men and ask for a favor? \u00a0Of course it does. \u00a0But that doesn\u2019t mean it might not pay off in the end.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Talmud teaches <\/span><\/a>that a bashful person will never become wise. \u00a0If we are afraid to ask, we cannot learn and grow. \u00a0And if we don\u2019t learn and grow, chances are that we will never succeed.<\/span><\/p>\n

So whether we are need of information, advice, assistance, or simple companionship, the solution is often as easy as asking. \u00a0And if someone says no<\/i>, don\u2019t take it personally. \u00a0There\u2019s a whole world of people out there waiting to say yes<\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

All you have to do is ask.<\/span><\/p>\n

Rabbi Yonason Goldson<\/a><\/span>, a talmudic scholar and former hitchhiker, circumnavigator, and newspaper columnist, lives with his wife in St. Louis, Missouri, where he teaches, writes, and lectures. \u00a0\u00a0His new book Proverbial Beauty: \u00a0Secrets for Success and Happiness from the Wisdom of the Ages<\/span><\/a> is available on Amazon<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sure, there are boundaries, and sometimes we do cross them. So if these scenarios arise often, you might need to examine whether you\u2019re overly needy. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":33647,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[5,6],"tags":[1024,4641,66,498,4629,4640],"yoast_head":"\nWhy Asking Questions is the Key To Personal Success<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Sure, there are boundaries, and sometimes we do cross them. So if these scenarios arise often, you might need to examine whether you\u2019re overly needy.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why Asking Questions is the Key To Personal Success\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Sure, there are boundaries, and sometimes we do cross them. So if these scenarios arise often, you might need to examine whether you\u2019re overly needy.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2015-06-27T19:25:55+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2015-07-01T05:10:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Screen-Shot-2015-06-27-at-12.23.50-PM.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"244\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Erin Falconer\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"5 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Screen-Shot-2015-06-27-at-12.23.50-PM.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Screen-Shot-2015-06-27-at-12.23.50-PM.png\",\"width\":500,\"height\":244,\"caption\":\"Why Asking Questions Leads To Personal Success\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/\",\"name\":\"Why Asking Questions is the Key To Personal Success\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2015-06-27T19:25:55+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2015-07-01T05:10:43+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2da8ae162c097bdb749ab098472b4cc5\"},\"description\":\"Sure, there are boundaries, and sometimes we do cross them. So if these scenarios arise often, you might need to examine whether you\u2019re overly needy.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Why Asking Questions is the Key To Personal Success\"}]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2da8ae162c097bdb749ab098472b4cc5\",\"name\":\"Erin Falconer\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1173c63284b173ff225e5f87a1af5028?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1173c63284b173ff225e5f87a1af5028?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Erin Falconer\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/author\/erin\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Why Asking Questions is the Key To Personal Success","description":"Sure, there are boundaries, and sometimes we do cross them. So if these scenarios arise often, you might need to examine whether you\u2019re overly needy.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Why Asking Questions is the Key To Personal Success","og_description":"Sure, there are boundaries, and sometimes we do cross them. So if these scenarios arise often, you might need to examine whether you\u2019re overly needy.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/","og_site_name":"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","article_publisher":"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pickthebrain","article_published_time":"2015-06-27T19:25:55+00:00","article_modified_time":"2015-07-01T05:10:43+00:00","og_image":[{"width":500,"height":244,"url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Screen-Shot-2015-06-27-at-12.23.50-PM.png","type":"image\/png"}],"twitter_card":"summary","twitter_creator":"@pickthebrain","twitter_site":"@pickthebrain","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Erin Falconer","Est. reading time":"5 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/","name":"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Screen-Shot-2015-06-27-at-12.23.50-PM.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/Screen-Shot-2015-06-27-at-12.23.50-PM.png","width":500,"height":244,"caption":"Why Asking Questions Leads To Personal Success"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/#webpage","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/","name":"Why Asking Questions is the Key To Personal Success","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/#primaryimage"},"datePublished":"2015-06-27T19:25:55+00:00","dateModified":"2015-07-01T05:10:43+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2da8ae162c097bdb749ab098472b4cc5"},"description":"Sure, there are boundaries, and sometimes we do cross them. So if these scenarios arise often, you might need to examine whether you\u2019re overly needy.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-asking-questions-is-the-key-to-personal-success\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Why Asking Questions is the Key To Personal Success"}]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2da8ae162c097bdb749ab098472b4cc5","name":"Erin Falconer","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1173c63284b173ff225e5f87a1af5028?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/1173c63284b173ff225e5f87a1af5028?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Erin Falconer"},"url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/author\/erin\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33646"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12163"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33646"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33646\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/33647"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33646"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33646"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33646"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}