{"id":33489,"date":"2015-06-10T21:04:30","date_gmt":"2015-06-11T05:04:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=33489"},"modified":"2015-06-14T21:54:18","modified_gmt":"2015-06-15T05:54:18","slug":"why-others-may-be-treating-you-poorly-and-what-you-can-do-about-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/why-others-may-be-treating-you-poorly-and-what-you-can-do-about-it\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Others May Be Treating You Poorly – And What You Can do About It"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/p>\n

There\u2019s an idea out there in the psychology world that we have control, to a large extent, over how other people treat us. This is big one that I’ve recently been finding myself reflecting on more than usual.<\/p>\n

Now this becomes quite obvious if we were to be rude and mean to someone \u2013 it\u2019s pretty much a given that they will respond to us with anger or aggression. Nothing profound there. And, sometimes our bosses, coworkers, friends, loved ones, and even complete strangers will be overtly rude to us for no apparent reason and I\u2019m not saying we necessarily caused them to treat us this way. The fact is, sometimes people are just having bad days and they decide to take it out on the next innocent person who unknowingly crosses their path \u2013 no matter who it is.<\/p>\n

But what I am talking about here is something that we\u2019re not quite as aware of because it\u2019s likely going on just below the surface.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m talking about having a partner who often talks down to you, or coworkers who \u2018let\u2019 you do all the work on a group project, or friends who have stopped inviting you out as often, or a boss who doesn\u2019t seems to trust you with more important and interesting tasks.<\/p>\n

In other words, the times when people don’t treat us the way we want them to.<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This can be kind of a hard and painful idea to really look at and reflect on. Could it really be true that I\u2019m largely responsible for setting the stage for how others treat me? Often yes, but you\u2019re not doing it on purpose \u2013 especially if people aren\u2019t treating you well.<\/p>\n

Think about it this way: Are there certain friends who you would never cancel plans on, but others with whom you would? Have you had bosses who you find you want to impress and please and others you don’t really care to? Are there certain people who you would call the day of to make plans and others you only plan with a week or two in advance? Are there friends you don\u2019t call and invite out as often because they\u2019ve declined most of your invitations over the past few months? Are there some family members who you feel you can be straightforward and honest with and others you don\u2019t talk to about how you\u2019re really feeling? Are there some friends you trust with your most personal secrets and others you would never go to in confidence?<\/p>\n

What have<\/strong>\u00a0<\/strong>they<\/strong><\/em>\u00a0<\/strong>done to influence how you approach<\/strong>\u00a0<\/strong>them<\/strong><\/em>?<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This idea can be really challenging, or even uncomfortable for some of us \u2013 especially if we often find ourselves being treated poorly in our relationships.\u00a0\u00a0But we can\u2019t put ALL the blame on others for their wrong doings and point the finger 100{54c12dad2cc2b53ae830e39915b1a3e70288dbcbbeb8bbf8395437c5dc3c512c} at them. We might have to take some pretty major responsibility and look inward, or at least partly inward and share some of the onus.<\/p>\n

The good, if not GREAT news is that we are NOT helpless victims.<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If we have the ability to play a major role in how others treat us for worse, then we can recast those roles, alter our approach, and create opportunities for others to treat us how we actually want to be treated!<\/p>\n

We can start doing things that show others we are trustworthy. We make small gestures to show our loved ones we care about and value them. We can use our voice to set boundaries and speak assertively when others seem to be taking advantage of us or treating us in ways that are inappropriate or rude.<\/p>\n

No, it\u2019s not always going to be easy to do nor will we have great success with every attempt, but feeling more secure in and of ourselves and our relationships definitely makes it worth it.<\/p>\n

Julia Kristina is a Mental Health Therapist<\/a>\u00a0who lives in beautiful Vancouver, BC, Canada. She runs a vibrant\u00a0clinical counselling practice<\/a>, is a speaker, workshop facilitator, blogger, and recovered \u2018Friends\u2019 junkie. In her spare time she likes to power walk, power talk, and power drill. You can read and see more from Julia Kristina on her\u00a0Good For Me Blog<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There\u2019s an idea out there in the psychology world that we have control, to a large extent, over how other people treat us. This is big one that I’ve recently been finding myself reflecting on more than usual. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":33490,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[38,58,6],"tags":[4641,66,4651,207,4629,4391],"yoast_head":"\nWhy Others May Be Treating You Poorly - And What You Can do About It<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There\u2019s an idea out there in the psychology world that we have control, to a large extent, over how other people treat us. 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