{"id":33175,"date":"2015-05-22T23:14:52","date_gmt":"2015-05-23T07:14:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=33175"},"modified":"2016-09-05T13:18:12","modified_gmt":"2016-09-05T21:18:12","slug":"5-steps-lasting-life-changes-personal-growth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-steps-lasting-life-changes-personal-growth\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Steps To Lasting Life Changes and Personal Growth"},"content":{"rendered":"
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You are going to do it this time, you are going to lose that weight, dust off your resume and get out of your soul sucking job, stop getting into dysfunctional relationships and a myriad of other changes that have to be made. \u00a0Perhaps you grab a self-help book or take a course. You read through all the great advice they have on the topics and you implement a few, but then you don\u2019t lose weight, you don\u2019t get a new job and you find yourself in yet another bad relationship.<\/p>\n

Why do we repeat the same cycle year after year and for some of us decade after decade? \u00a0It\u2019s not what you\u2019re doing \u2013 it\u2019s what you\u2019re not doing.<\/p>\n

You can\u2019t move forward until you dig deeper and root out and rectify underlying beliefs, fear, and lack of worth and on and on. When you pull a weed out of your garden and the weed grows back, it\u2019s because you did not make sure the whole root was out.\u00a0 You just pulled off the top.\u00a0 Reading self-help books and implementing a few well-intended tips are just cropping off the top of the weed.<\/p>\n

What does it take to make real transformation?\u00a0 Pull that pesky weed up by the root.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Check your ecology. <\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0How often do you step back and just observe? When we are in the middle of an issue or thought process it\u2019s hard to totally see what is happening because we are too close. You can take a moment and ask yourself a few questions:<\/p>\n

Is this behavior, belief, thought, emotion, serving me well?<\/p>\n

Is this an empowering or disempowering belief?<\/p>\n

How does what I am feeling right now effect my relationship with others?<\/p>\n

Just a few simple questions will help you check the consequences of your thoughts and feelings. Which in turn can help develop strategies to disengage from a belief system and ways of work that do not serve you well or move you forward.<\/p>\n

Transformation is a continual process of letting go.<\/strong>\u00a0 What do you need to let go of to make real change?\u00a0 For me it was the stories I told myself about why I could not create a life I could love.\u00a0 Once I realized my stories were holding me back I changed them to be more empowering and less about who had wronged me and how badly I had been treated.\u00a0 I stopped using my stories to blame others and put the responsibility on me. (Where it belongs.)<\/p>\n

Think about how you would describe yourself.\u00a0 Do you see yourself as a victim or a martyr? Do you think you are unlucky or maybe no one likes you?\u00a0 Think about your experiences surrounding how you described yourself.\u00a0 How often did this \u201cstory\u201d about you show up and you are able to say, \u201cSee I told you so, no one likes me.\u201d\u00a0 Perhaps what is happening is your reality is chasing that story.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t want to accept responsibly or you want to live in the past you are hiding behind your story.<\/p>\n

Decide what is true for your life.<\/strong>\u00a0 For many years I could not understand why I felt the way I did after too much time spent with people.\u00a0 I thought there was something wrong with me and so did others.\u00a0 I was often called a snob or seen as shy.\u00a0 Neither of which is true.\u00a0 I have since discovered I am an introvert, which was a relief.\u00a0 But the biggest turning point came when I decided to be true to my nature.\u00a0 I no longer feel the need to live up to my extroverted friend\u2019s level of energy, which made me tired, cranky and resentful.<\/p>\n

When we shape-shift into what others need us to be or what we think they need us to be we drown out our true self.\u00a0 This can lead to all types of devastating consequences \u2013 overeating, drinking to excess, depression and etc.<\/p>\n

Take empowered action.<\/strong>\u00a0 When we base a decision or action on a belief or emotion that is disenfranchising then we will make decisions that won\u2019t move us forward.\u00a0 Once you take steps to move from faulty beliefs and the approval of others, empowered action is what comes without much effort.<\/p>\n

As you make changes in your life there will be those who try to sabotage those efforts, whether covertly or overtly. <\/strong>\u00a0So surround yourself with others who hold similar beliefs and have common outcomes in place.\u00a0 Also, understand why others may try to sabotage you and what you can do to minimize their efforts.<\/p>\n

When you change others get nervous because their behaviors, emotions, feelings, etc., have been formed around yours. This is especially true in marriages and longtime partnerships. \u00a0Expectations of behaviors are formed after many years and this make us feel safe and comfortable with our world. If I and my partner spent the evening after dinner watching TV and eating ice cream I know what to expect.\u00a0 If suddenly my partner decides to go to the gym after dinner my feeling of balance is changed.\u00a0 I might start to feel bad about myself because I need to change as well \u2013 so I engage in behavior that will sabotage my partner\u2019s desire to become healthy.<\/p>\n

Creating a life you will love or personal transformation, whatever that looks like to you, is a process.\u00a0 For me it was a two and half years of working through the five steps above.\u00a0 Is it hard?\u00a0 Yes, it can be. But in order to make real change \u2013 changes have to occur.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Shelly is a personal development strategist and founder of The Rescue Yourself Project <\/a>helping women over 40 step into their unique selves so they can create a life they love! \u00a0A few years ago, she\u00a0found herself living a life that wasn’t of her making. Deciding that wasn’t what she wanted she ran away from home and spent eight months “re-branding” herself. Today Shelly helps women find their unique selves by becoming experts about their values, strengths, passions, goals and purpose so they can design a life they love. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Why do we repeat the same cycle year after year and for some of us decade after decade? It\u2019s not what you\u2019re doing \u2013 it\u2019s what you\u2019re not doing. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":646,"featured_media":33298,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[30,6],"tags":[4364,3822,4365,66,4629],"yoast_head":"\n5 Steps To Lasting Life Changes and Personal Growth<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Personal growth: Why do we repeat the same cycle year after year and for some of us decade after decade? 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