{"id":32791,"date":"2015-04-30T10:45:51","date_gmt":"2015-04-30T18:45:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=32791"},"modified":"2015-04-30T11:02:17","modified_gmt":"2015-04-30T19:02:17","slug":"silence-your-inner-critic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/silence-your-inner-critic\/","title":{"rendered":"How Making A Mess Can Silence Your Inner Critic"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p><\/p>\n<p>Your inner critic doesn\u2019t leave you alone.\u00a0It tells you all kind of things:<br \/>\nYou\u2019re not good enough\u2026You\u2019ll never match up\u2026You\u2019re a failure\u2026<br \/>\nAnd its voice is insistent in all kinds of circumstances, never letting you feel good about what you do.<\/p>\n<p>But you keep trying to be perfect hoping against hope that maybe, just maybe your inner critic will shut up once and for all.<\/p>\n<p><em>Your inner critic was born in childhood<\/em><br \/>\n<em> You were not born with an inner critic.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>It was bred during childhood and then took up residence in your brain.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You may think that childhood is an idyllic time with little pressure on you, but children develop inner critics for many reasons.\u00a0One of them is unrealistic expectations.<br \/>\nAs a child, you probably thought adults were all-wise and all-knowing, so whatever they said must be the truth.\u00a0When you couldn\u2019t live up to their expectations, you felt like a failure and your inner critic was born.\u00a0It perched on your shoulder and took up permanent residence lasting into adulthood.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Copycat crafts may have bred your inner critic\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>A perfect example of the effect of unrealistic expectations often happens in kindergarten or your early childhood setting.<br \/>\nYoung children aren\u2019t really ready for \u201creal\u201d learning, so lots of activities revolve around crafts. Which is fine, except in most cases, they revolve around perfect, cookie-cutter, copycat crafts.<br \/>\nTeachers and parents often want the children\u2019s crafts to look as perfect as possible. If they left their children to their own devices, they\u2019d just make a mess. So the adults create a model and have the children try to emulate it.<br \/>\nChildren try their best, but their project will never look as good as the teacher\u2019s, so they feel like failures. They also feel deficient because they realize deep down that the adults don\u2019t trust them to do their own thing.<br \/>\nBut most adults don\u2019t realize that young children NEED to make messes and have imperfect art for their proper development.<\/p>\n<p>Children need to make messy art, not masterpieces<\/p>\n<p>When we allow children to do art at their own level, it nurtures a sense of self and competence even if the end result is not what an adult would be proud of.<br \/>\nWhen we allow children to create on their own and make messes, we are telling them, \u201c I know this is where you are at and I trust that you will do what you can at your level.\u201d<br \/>\nThis also helps discharge tension and allows them to represent forbidden thoughts in socially acceptable ways.<\/p>\n<p>For example: It\u2019s much better to show anger in art by painting in all black, than to punch your classmate.<\/p>\n<p>When you were young and given projects that were way beyond your developmental needs, you probably started doubting yourself, which almost certainly spilled over into many other areas and carried into your adult life.<\/p>\n<p>This now shows up as perfectionism with the need to do everything just right.<br \/>\nHow to heal from that inner critic and shut him up once and for all<br \/>\nHave you ever heard the idea that when you fall off a horse the best thing to do is to get right back on?<\/p>\n<p>The idea is to confront the thing that harmed you, in a positive form. Your trauma can be your medicine.\u00a0If you indeed had negative art experiences when you were young, then the best way to heal is by recreating those experiences in a positive way.<br \/>\nArt therapy is one such well-known modality, helping people heal from trauma through art. It\u2019s safe, non-confrontational and helps people cope with all sorts of negative feelings.<br \/>\nYou don\u2019t have to sign up with an art therapist to benefit from art therapy. You can be your own modified art therapist.<br \/>\n<em>Get messy like you wish you could have as a child!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s go over a few ways you can get involved with messy art that will help you get rid of your inner critic:<\/p>\n<p><strong>1-Finger-painting<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Finger-painting is one of the best and most important messy art activities for kids, and if you\u2019ve never done it, then maybe now is the time.<br \/>\nIf you are scared that the paint may stain your clothing or your walls, and you don&#8217;t want to bring it into the house, I have an alternative: shaving cream! The cleanup will be much easier because it\u2019s not colored paint.<br \/>\nThe real point of finger-painting is the wonderful sensory experience you get from feeling the mushy paint between your fingers, and having the freedom to create without permanent results. Shaving cream can give you the same benefit.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2-Mixed media art<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Get involved in mixed media art. It allows you to create without feeling your \u201cdrawing\u201d is unacceptable even if you can\u2019t draw a straight line.<br \/>\nMixed media art allows you to use many different types of material like paints, foils, found materials, and various techniques like collaging that are fun and relaxing without any predetermined method.<br \/>\nThere are usually no models to follow and it is a great confidence-builder and inner critic-destroyer, as there is no wrong way to do it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3-Children&#8217;s art<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Get young children involved in \u201cprocess only art.\u201d This means the process, not the end product, is what&#8217;s important.<br \/>\nVery often when we have suffered from a traumatic experience, getting children involved in the opposite experience can help us to heal.<br \/>\nIf there are no children in your life\u2026then it\u2019s time to be a child again for just a little bit (No tantrums though, please).<\/p>\n<p><strong>4-Unplanned watercolor painting<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If you want to stretch out of your comfort zone to quiet your inner critic, there is an incredible tool that will help you learn about living and working creatively each day. Easy watercolor painting will teach you improvisational skills and help you turn off your self-censoring as you learn to let yourself go through the guided exercises.<\/p>\n<p>I myself have been going through this process with a book called Painting your way out of a corner (By Barbara Diane Barry). It uses watercolors as the medium to help you break free from your inhibitions and heal. It\u2019s a wonderful book and a must-read for all who would love to get unstuck.<\/p>\n<p><em>So get ready to silence that inner critic<\/em><\/p>\n<p>You have a choice now; you can give a little smile at these ideas and go back to beating yourself up and wallowing in perfectionism.<br \/>\nOr, you can take the bull by the horns and say \u201cI will silence my inner critic. Bring on the shaving cream!!!!\u201d<br \/>\nNow go do some messy art and get rid of that inner critic once and for all.<\/p>\n<p>&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;<\/p>\n<p><em>Faigie Kobre is a reignited art teacher who loves to help others reignite their natural, inborn creativity they thought they didn\u2019t have, to help make their lives so much better and more fun . To begin you can get a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.creativityreignited.com\/\">free copy of her pdf guide 25 exercises to rekindle your natural creativity<\/a>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your inner critic doesn\u2019t leave you alone. It tells you all kind of things:<br \/>\nYou\u2019re not good enough\u2026You\u2019ll never match up\u2026You\u2019re a failure\u2026 <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/silence-your-inner-critic\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":32833,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[2162],"tags":[4283,66,207,4629,4282],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How Making A Mess Can Silence Your Inner Critic<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Your inner critic doesn\u2019t leave you alone. 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