{"id":32596,"date":"2015-04-23T20:31:22","date_gmt":"2015-04-24T04:31:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=32596"},"modified":"2016-05-06T09:03:22","modified_gmt":"2016-05-06T17:03:22","slug":"4-steps-align-life-true-self","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/4-steps-align-life-true-self\/","title":{"rendered":"The 4 Steps To Align Your Life With Your True Self"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Mid-life brings about many transitions.\u00a0 Children leaving home, aging parents, divorce, remarriage, and career changes can leave us asking the questions:<\/p>\n

Who am I?\u00a0 What do I really want? How do I even know what I want?<\/p>\n

I spent many years, decades actually, not having a clear vision and path for my life. I was a wreck in every way: physically, emotionally and mentally. Thing was, I didn\u2019t even know I didn\u2019t have a clear vision and path for my life until just recently.<\/p>\n

My life had been spent living it the way I was told to live, by family, friends and society.\u00a0\u00a0 However there was always a part of me that just didn\u2019t feel right about the path I had taken.\u00a0 I never really felt like I fit in and I couldn\u2019t figure out exactly why.\u00a0 The \u201cright\u201d way to live was so ingrained in me I thought I was the dysfunctional one.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t see that there was nothing wrong with me and everything wrong in trying to fit this square peg into a round hole.<\/p>\n

What happens to us when we lie to ourselves as we pretend to live this life that is not really ours?\u00a0 We are unhappy, we self-medicate, we always feel there is something wrong with us because we just don\u2019t live up to the standards set forth by others.\u00a0 We over-eat, we drink too much, we have affairs, we yell at our kids and spouse and the list goes on and on.<\/p>\n

Then there comes the day when you figure out that your unhappiness and self-destructive behavior is a manifestation of years of not being true to yourself.<\/p>\n

Starting to develop your own sense of where you want your life to go is difficult.\u00a0 It\u2019s a strange territory and you don\u2019t speak the language.\u00a0\u00a0 Here are four ways you can begin to understand your true self, which in turn will help you create your life on your own terms.<\/p>\n

Create Awareness<\/strong> \u2013 There are a few things I found out about myself that, looking back, make total sense. Here are a few:\u00a0 I am an introvert, I do my best work before noon, I get cranky if my routine is disrupted and I don\u2019t like to exercise or eat breakfast in the morning.\u00a0 Seemingly small items right?<\/p>\n

But what happens when an introvert enters the work force and can\u2019t seem to understand the need for social hour around the water cooler? I appear to be a snob to my co-workers. (I have actually been called a snob by co-workers.)<\/p>\n

What happens when I agonized for years over not eating breakfast because I was always told, \u201cit\u2019s the most important meal of the day\u201d.\u00a0\u00a0 I worried that my health would suffer because I didn\u2019t get hungry until well in the morning.\u00a0 After all I am not an expert on nutrition.<\/p>\n

What happens when I am on vacation and by the end of the second week I am tired and just want to go home?\u00a0 I appear ungrateful and odd because aren\u2019t we supposed to enjoy every minute of our vacation?<\/p>\n

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Creating awareness is key to understanding what will work for you and what won\u2019t.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Create Vision:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have told countless people through coaching and training that if you don\u2019t have a clear vision of where you want to go, you will be easily taken off your path.\u00a0\u00a0 Creating a clear vision of where you want to be requires self-awareness of your strengths and values.<\/p>\n

Create Goals:<\/strong>\u00a0 People get hung up on goals. There are different ways to set goals and the way you approach your goals will depend on your unique vision.\u00a0 For example, if you want to run three miles, but you are a true coach potato, you won\u2019t get very far with a goal of running a mile the first time you lace up.\u00a0 Some goals you have to start small.\u00a0 For example, can\u2019t run a mile then walk around the block.<\/p>\n

Other goals, such as a financial goal for retirement or starting a business, requires timelines and concrete actionable steps.<\/p>\n

Take Action:<\/strong> This is the hardest step.\u00a0 When we Create Awareness, Create Vision and Create Goals, we are deciding to make a change. People in your life are often uncomfortable when you change, because that upsets their world.\u00a0 They have come to expect certain behavior from you.\u00a0 Your behavior is a cue to how they are to act and what to expect.\u00a0 Your spouse may be afraid you will leave.\u00a0 Your change may trigger resentment in friends.\u00a0 You may start to witness family and friends trying to sabotage your program, either covertly or overtly.<\/p>\n

To succeed you will have to understand what your family and friends are feeling about your new path and knowing the correct ways to gently, yet firmly, lessen their fears.\u00a0 Also, be aware, that not everyone is going to take this journey with you.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Ultimately though, the final decision belongs to you.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Shelly is a personal development strategist and founder of The Rescue Yourself Project <\/a>helping women over 40 step into their unique selves so they can create a life they love! \u00a0A few years ago, she\u00a0found herself living a life that wasn’t of her making. Deciding that wasn’t what she wanted she ran away from home and spent eight months “re-branding” herself. Today Shelly helps women find their unique selves by becoming experts about their values, strengths, passions, goals and purpose so they can design a life they love. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

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