{"id":32236,"date":"2015-04-08T23:41:57","date_gmt":"2015-04-09T07:41:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=32236"},"modified":"2015-04-11T21:48:00","modified_gmt":"2015-04-12T05:48:00","slug":"supercharge-social-life-tweaking-one-tiny-aspect-personality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/supercharge-social-life-tweaking-one-tiny-aspect-personality\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Supercharge your Social Life by Tweaking One Tiny Aspect of your Personality"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Have you ever wondered how some people can confidently stroll into any room, approach the first person they see, and quickly jump into deep conversations?<\/p>\n

They\u2019re able to laugh, engage, and have fun.\u00a0 They ooze confidence and charisma. Other people are dying to meet them and hanging on their every word.<\/p>\n

As an introvert, I\u2019ve always been deeply fascinated by those individuals\u2014the ones who can talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere\u2014because that\u2019s something I struggled with for most of my life.<\/p>\n

In fact, for many years, most conversations I tried to start would go something like this:<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cHi! How are you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Them: \u201cGood. You?\u201d<\/p>\n

Me: \u201cGood!\u2026[awkward silence]\u2026Well, it was nice seeing you\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Then, the conversation would fizzle out, and I\u2019d scurry away tail-between-my-legs discouraged.<\/p>\n

But rather than just giving up and saying I\u2019m not a \u201cpeople person,\u201d I decided to study some of the best conversationalists around.<\/p>\n

And no, I didn\u2019t seek advice from smooth-talking salespeople, charming old chaps, or even polished politicians.<\/p>\n

Instead, I turned to a rather unusual and unlikely source for conversational inspiration: kids!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Now you may be thinking, \u201cWait a minute! Why would an adult look to children for conversational advice?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s why:<\/strong> think about the way you were as a child, especially the way you approached meeting new people.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s likely that you would talk to anyone about anything. You\u2019d willingly walk up and introduce yourself, and you certainly NEVER worried about saying the wrong things.<\/p>\n

In fact, as kids, we have to be told \u201cnot to talk to strangers\u201d because otherwise we\u2019d inch toward everyone in sight.<\/p>\n

So what changed?<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

For starters as kids, we had no reason not to be confident. We were unaware of awkwardness so we weren\u2019t afraid to screw up.<\/p>\n

We allowed ourselves to play and have fun.
\nBut more important than any those things is that as kids we had a burning curiosity, and we willingly expressed it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

We wanted to understand the world around us. That made us hungry to know more.<\/p>\n

That made us ask great questions.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And that truly is the secret to an amazing social life and having great conversations: become insanely curious about people.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Because when we\u2019re genuinely curious about other people\u2019s lives, we engage with them, we pay attention to details, and we make them feel important.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s seems so simple, but most people don\u2019t do this. The go-to for most of us is to jump into generic questions like:<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you do?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere are you from?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe weather has been crazy, huh?\u201d<\/p>\n

And these generic questions get generic responses<\/strong>. They don\u2019t show a deeper level of interests.<\/p>\n

Instead, it\u2019s just a formality we perform out of routine.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, great questions cut through. They get to the heart of the matter.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re around a child for even a few minutes, you\u2019ll see the power of genuine curiosity. They ask so many questions you can’t help but to engage with them!<\/p>\n

Here are three of the most powerful questions kids consistently ask that quickly tap into people\u2019s deepest desires, inner-most thoughts, and show a genuine interest in the other person.<\/p>\n

Don’t be a afraid to tap into your child-like state of mind and make your conversations fun and interesting!<\/p>\n

Now, it’s okay to talk to strangers so use these questions to help supercharge your social life and make conversations oh-so-much easier.
\n1. What\u2019s the meaning behind that?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kids ask this all the time. They see something unique about someone (maybe their shirt or a hat), and they ask about it. As adults we rarely give this a shot. We mostly just keep to ourselves.<\/p>\n

The reality is asking this question not only shows the other person that you\u2019re paying attention to details about them but it also gives them a rare opportunity to share a story with you.<\/p>\n

Maybe they bought that strange hat when they were traveling through a foreign country? Or maybe they got that tattoo when they were in the military a few years back? Or just maybe that t-shirt they\u2019re wearing (with the odd logo) is their favorite band and they got it at a concert a week back?<\/p>\n

You never what stories people have, until you ask.<\/p>\n

And this is one of the easiest ways to get stories out of people. Ask them to tell you the story behind anything that interests you and watch the interesting conversations unfold.<\/p>\n

2. Why?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kids are great at asking this question. Many times they’ll ask why, dozens of times in row, giving the person unlimited chances to speak.<\/p>\n

Now, you won’t want to go t<\/strong>h<\/em>at far<\/strong><\/em>…but using this tip in your conversations is a great way to kickstart a deeper, more meaningful discussions.<\/p>\n

All of us have a reason why we do things, but few people ever ask us why we do what we do.<\/p>\n

Most people are so caught up in their own day-to-day lives that they never consider asking this question. But asking \u201cwhy\u201d is one of easiest ways to open people up and engage with them.<\/p>\n

Try a few of these questions:<\/p>\n