{"id":32161,"date":"2015-04-06T20:52:25","date_gmt":"2015-04-07T04:52:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=32161"},"modified":"2015-04-09T22:13:13","modified_gmt":"2015-04-10T06:13:13","slug":"5-ways-quickly-pull-funk-life-dumps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-ways-quickly-pull-funk-life-dumps\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Ways To Quickly Pull Yourself Out of a Funk If Your Life is in The Dumps"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/p>\n

I was in a funk for a very long time around my \u201cQuarter-life crisis\u201d period and like most people, I turned to the Internet for advice before asking someone for it.<\/p>\n

I kept running into much of the same \u201cvisualize, affirm and be grateful\u201d stuff \u2013 but it really didn\u2019t do much for me. I felt like it was almost like telling someone to visualize that they were skinnier – and then actually expecting to see it happen without doing any work.<\/p>\n

Eventually, I found a few key principles that make a massive difference.<\/p>\n

Here are five things that worked for me.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Be 100{54c12dad2cc2b53ae830e39915b1a3e70288dbcbbeb8bbf8395437c5dc3c512c} honest with yourself<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Sometimes, many of the decisions we make on a daily basis aren\u2019t even our own decisions \u2013 we think they are, but they\u2019re really society\u2019s decisions.<\/p>\n

    We tell ourselves we want to be successful, or want to be a doctor, or want to spend the summers in Paris and learn French.<\/p>\n

    I mean, who doesn\u2019t want to do those things, right?<\/p>\n

    One of the big things I found myself wanting was to be perceived as a success \u2013 I wanted to be successful, even though I had no idea why I wanted to be successful.<\/p>\n

    When I dug deeper and asked myself why, I realized it was just for respect. I didn\u2019t actually care about becoming successful; I just wanted the respect from other people.<\/p>\n

    So did I really want it? I guess not. I guess it was something I picked up that society \u201ctold\u201d me I should want.<\/p>\n

    It\u2019s harder than it seems. We often live based on the outside \u2013 not the inside.<\/p>\n

    The hardest question in the world is this: \u201cWhat do I really<\/em> want?”<\/p>\n

    And while we\u2019re on it, think about it: how do you really define success?<\/p>\n

    Is success the nice car, the trophy spouse, the big house with the white picket fence?<\/p>\n

    Does it mean waking up and doing what you enjoy?<\/p>\n

    Does it mean traveling multiple times a year, or maybe just traveling year round?<\/p>\n

    What is success to you? You might find that you\u2019re not far off.<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Do a brain dump<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      The daily rush of confusing, back and forth emotions is one of those things that can drive you insane if you\u2019re in a period of life where there\u2019s lots happening between the ears.<\/p>\n

      We don\u2019t want to wake up, and then we don\u2019t want to go to sleep.<\/p>\n

      We\u2019re thinking about the past and wondering about all the mistakes we made, then we\u2019re projecting into the future and feeling anxious about what may come next.<\/p>\n

      Here\u2019s what worked wonders for me to silence that monkey mind:<\/p>\n

      Vent\u2026 on paper. Just write all the stuff that frustrates you, confuses you, and makes you want to scream.<\/p>\n

      If it\u2019s frustration about the present, write it down.<\/p>\n

      If it\u2019s depression thinking about the past, write it down.<\/p>\n

      If it\u2019s anxiety thinking about the future, write it down.<\/p>\n

      And it\u2019s miraculous \u2013 it\u2019s almost like as soon as we voice<\/em> these frustrations, they get quieter. And sometimes, they get silent. But all of them get more stuck on the page the more we write them down. Suddenly, we go from having a hundred negative thoughts in our mind to having just a few. And then the more we write things down, the more they rest on the page.<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Create positive snowballs<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        When we feel like we\u2019re a sinking ship, it can feel like everything has massive resistance surrounding it.<\/p>\n

        Go to the gym? No thanks.<\/p>\n

        Get up and take a shower? I\u2019ll pass.<\/p>\n

        Get out of the house<\/em> and meet someone for coffee? Not happening.<\/p>\n

        After a while, pretty much any and all motivation and desire to do stuff<\/em> has gone out the window.<\/p>\n

        And then we find ourselves sitting on the sofa, endlessly watching TV really struggling to do much at all.<\/p>\n

        One thing that can work dramatically here is what positive psychology calls positive snowballs<\/em>. Here\u2019s how it works:<\/p>\n

        Let\u2019s say you wanted to develop the daily routine of meditating thirty minutes a day.<\/p>\n

        The average person will just jump right in to meditation full-force, go for a few days, and in less than a month will be back to the exact same routine of not meditating at all. That\u2019s what happens to me a few times a year.<\/p>\n

        It\u2019s tough to go from zero to one hundred in a week, but it\u2019s also even tougher because mentally<\/em> we\u2019re not in the routine of doing this. And once we get discouraged, it\u2019s tough to get back on track.<\/p>\n

        So rather, what we do is simple:<\/p>\n

        Rather than trying thirty minutes of meditation, we just do ONE minute.<\/p>\n

        Yes, one minute.<\/p>\n

        It seems pointless and it seems like it won\u2019t do anything, but it\u2019s not the time that matters: it\u2019s that we develop the psychological positive snowball<\/em> \u2013 we begin associating meditation practice (achieving the one minute goal) with being happy.<\/p>\n

        And when the bar is set so low that you continually hit the goal, you develop a positive snowball that\u2019s easy to maintain, rather than a huge goal we fail to achieve which constantly discourages us.<\/p>\n

        So whatever we\u2019re struggling with doing, even if it\u2019s just getting up off the couch, what can we do for just one minute<\/em> to begin building that positive motivation again?<\/p>\n

        It\u2019s not about the time at the start \u2013 it\u2019s about associating the activity (like meditation) with being easy. And if we bite off too much at the start, that won\u2019t happen.<\/p>\n

          \n
        1. Just quit\u2026 and do whatever YOU want<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          I\u2019ll never forget, I had a conversation with my mom a few years back when I was in the midst of working to build my own business and I was putting in agonizing hours with a full time job.<\/p>\n

          She said, \u201cYou\u2019re always so serious\u2026 you try too hard.\u201d<\/p>\n

          A massive light bulb went off.<\/p>\n

          I guiltily admitted that half of the time, I felt like I should<\/em> be working 12-14 hours a day \u2013 even though I didn\u2019t necessarily even want to.<\/p>\n

          I felt like that\u2019s what new business owners just do<\/em>. It was such a ridiculous idea, and I was fully caught up in the myth without even realizing it, but I got sucked into someone else\u2019s dream.<\/p>\n

          In fact, I thought about my average daily routine and the things I did every single day, and you know what I found?<\/p>\n

          Most of the time, I wasn\u2019t even doing stuff I wanted to do. I had all these lists of things I should<\/em> do:<\/p>\n

          \u201cI should do Judo because it\u2019s pretty cool, it helps me defend myself, and it\u2019s fun to talk about.\u201d<\/p>\n

          \u201cI should volunteer on the weekend because that\u2019s what a good person does.\u201d<\/p>\n

          \u201cI should work more hours in my business if I want to get ahead.\u201d<\/p>\n

          I had all these \u201cshoulds,\u201d but you know what?<\/p>\n

          I asked myself if I actually liked doing any of these things \u2013 if I considered them play, fun, and the answer was a very clear no.<\/p>\n

          So why did I keep doing them?<\/p>\n

          I made a promise to myself: I\u2019m just going to quit doing all the stuff I \u201cshould\u201d do for ANY reason other than enjoyment and fun\u2026 and do whatever I want.<\/p>\n

          I also removed the stress that comes with forcing myself to use all my time \u201cachieving goals.\u201d<\/p>\n

          Once I filled my afternoons with stuff I wanted \u2013 reading in coffee shops, going for walks, working on fun projects \u2013 my happiness and playfulness came back.<\/p>\n

            \n
          1. Do a life 180<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            Sometimes we hear people say, \u201cJust quit your job, move across the world, and start over again!\u201d as if it\u2019s the magical cure for depression.<\/p>\n

            For those of us that can\u2019t \u201cescape\u201d our lives, there\u2019s something else we can do to feel a lot better.<\/p>\n

            When we\u2019re feeling depressed, it feels like there\u2019s something missing. It feels like we\u2019re in this supreme state of lack.<\/p>\n

            And it\u2019s paradoxical that when we feel the most lack<\/em>, like we need something, that\u2019s often the best<\/em> time to do something awesome for someone else.<\/p>\n

            So I gave myself a new rule: on the days where I felt the absolute worst \u2013 especially when I didn\u2019t feel like doing anything for anyone else \u2013 I had to do one awesome thing for someone else.<\/p>\n

            Sometimes it was as simple as going to the coffee shop during the morning rush and buying the person behind me coffee.<\/p>\n

            Sometimes it was as simple as volunteering at a local pet shelter.<\/p>\n

            And sometimes it was just volunteering at a soup kitchen.<\/p>\n

            The paradox is that often service<\/em> is what leads to completion.<\/p>\n

            When we\u2019re in an extreme state of lack the last thing on our mind is wanting to help someone else (how can I help someone else if I can\u2019t help myself?) but it\u2019s fool proof.<\/p>\n

            Whenever I was my worst, I simply made myself forget about myself \u2013 and helped someone else live the life they wanted.<\/p>\n

            These five daily changes dramatically pulled me out of my funk. What about you? What else has helped you get through a tough time?<\/p>\n

            About Alex: <\/strong>Alexander Heyne runs Modern Health Monk<\/a>, a site that helps busy professionals get the body, health and life they want through the power of tiny habits. You can get his free guide, 5 daily habits to double your energy & get your dream body here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

             <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

            I was in a funk for a very long time around my \u201cQuarter-life crisis\u201d period and like most people, I turned to the Internet for advice before asking someone for it. 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