{"id":31529,"date":"2015-03-17T21:13:05","date_gmt":"2015-03-18T05:13:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=31529"},"modified":"2015-03-20T23:02:20","modified_gmt":"2015-03-21T07:02:20","slug":"10-habits-will-make-happy-today-even-life-isnt-going-way","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/10-habits-will-make-happy-today-even-life-isnt-going-way\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Habits That Will Make You Happy Today (Even If Life Isn’t Going Your Way)"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/p>\n

In 2010, after losing my job and being unable to find another one for close to a year, I fell into a deep depression. During this time I read dozens (maybe a hundred) books on happiness, purpose and meaning, trying to cheer myself up.<\/p>\n

Here are ten of the best habits from my research to help you become happier today \u2013 even if your life feels like it\u2019s in the dumps.<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0Create your flow list.<\/strong><\/p>\n

One of the things that most helped me during this time period was to track all my happiest moments during the day \u2013 even if there were very few. Even if I could only track the few happy moments each week<\/em>, I did.<\/p>\n

When I tracked all of the best moments during the week, initially I found small things: drinking a coffee in the morning, reading a great book, or taking a shower. Gradually the happy things became bigger and more frequent.<\/p>\n

Once I figured out which moments were happy and \u201cflow producing\u201d for me, I scheduled more of them into my routine. For me that usually meant spending time each day to read a book in a great caf\u00e9, or taking the time to go for a long walk with my dog.<\/p>\n

Whereas I usually found myself thinking about all the things going horribly in my life, I found that if I actually scheduled<\/em> happiness activities into my routine, I would do them without fail.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Stop doing what doesn\u2019t work.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    This sounds crazy, but usually if we\u2019re unhappy, we\u2019re feeling stuck in life. Whether that\u2019s due to our relationships or whether that\u2019s due to finances, our job, or just lacking purpose and meaning, something isn\u2019t working.<\/p>\n

    Whatever aspect of life isn\u2019t working well \u2013 let\u2019s say relationships \u2013 do an evaluation. Do I keep attracting the same kind of people? Do I keep making the same mistake? Do I keep forgetting to make time for my partner? Whatever isn\u2019t working \u2013 stop doing it.<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Cultivate a happiness diet.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      We\u2019re so used to changing our physical diet to improve our physical health, but what about changing our mental and psychological diet for our happiness health?<\/em><\/p>\n

      Think about it.<\/p>\n

      On a diet, we remove things that don\u2019t help us like Oreos or cakes, and then we add things that do help us \u2013 like plants and water.<\/p>\n

      On a happiness diet, we remove things that aren\u2019t making us happy \u2013 like certain people, routines, or schedules.<\/p>\n

      And then we add things that DO help us become happy \u2013 an activity every single day we enjoy, being around more people that inspire us, and filling our mind with things that create happiness and inspiration, not fear.<\/p>\n

      What things can you add or subtract to your happiness diet?<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Eliminate energy leaks.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Throughout the day, there are always certain people, places, or activities that are energy leaks.<\/p>\n

        You know, there are always people filled with negativity, fear, and the latest gossip they\u2019ve found on the television. And there are other people that are filled with inspiration, happiness, and motivation.<\/p>\n

        How does each person make you feel after you interact with him or her?<\/p>\n

        How does each situation make you feel after you\u2019re involved in it?<\/p>\n

        Do certain places or people make you just feel tired<\/em> after dealing with them?<\/p>\n

        Another big thing that we sometimes forget is that fear and anxiety<\/em> are also energy leaks \u2013 the more we let them into our mind, the more they exhaust us and prevent us from doing what we have to do to be happy.<\/p>\n

          \n
        1. Replace fear with vision.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          Once of the toughest things for me during this rough patch in my life was trying to overcome the constant anxiety and fear that was filling my mind every time I tried to push myself forward.<\/p>\n

          It seemed like every single time I would take a step forward, one little barrier would get in my way and the massive self doubt would settle in again, \u201cOh, you\u2019re never going to make it, you don\u2019t know what you\u2019re doing, you don\u2019t deserve this, you\u2019re not progressing fast enough.\u201d<\/p>\n

          And if I wasn\u2019t careful, the fear itself would crush me, and it would sometimes take a day or longer to recover from it and begin again.<\/p>\n

          One of the core practices that helped me during this time was visualizing the future I wanted \u2013 any time the feeling of fear cropped up. So once I sensed a little bit of self-doubt creeping into my life, I took the time to pause for five minutes, visualize the life I wanted in full detail, and then continue on my way.<\/p>\n

          This never failed to keep me focused and inspired.<\/p>\n

            \n
          1. Take the first step\u2026 even if you can\u2019t see the staircase.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            There were so many days, weeks, months and years where I was utterly paralyzed because I couldn\u2019t figure out the exact path that was going to get me to where I wanted to be \u2013 all the way there<\/em>.<\/p>\n

            And it took me a very long time to realize that we often don\u2019t know step 2 until we take step 1. And the problem is that step 2 doesn\u2019t even reveal itself unless we just start walking.<\/p>\n

            So sometimes it can be easy to find ourselves overwhelmed and frustrated because we\u2019re living in our mind \u2013 trying to figure it all out before we even step.<\/p>\n

            One of the best kept secrets that a mentor once told me was this: once you take the first step into the dark, enchanted forest, you\u2019ll see exactly where step #2 is.<\/p>\n

              \n
            1. Reframe limitations.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              I\u2019ll never forget, a few years back when I was working for someone else, I told myself, \u201cI will never be happy as long as I work for someone else.\u201d<\/p>\n

              And you know what happened? I never was happy working for someone else \u2013 even when I had objectively<\/em> amazing jobs, great bosses, incredible colleagues with good pay and more. I had poisoned my mind by \u201cpromising\u201d to myself (or rather, negatively affirming) that I would never be happy \u201cso long as\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

              Sometimes this happens in other aspects of life though. We tell ourselves we\u2019ll never be happy if we\u2019re single. Or we\u2019ll never be happy as long as we\u2019re overweight, or as long as we live in this location.<\/p>\n

              And those become self-fulfilling prophecies more often than not. One thing that really helped me during this time was writing down all<\/em> negative self-talk \u2013 and then I wrote affirmations that were the exact opposite.<\/p>\n

              So if I told myself \u201cI\u2019ll never be fully happy single\u201d the affirmation was, \u201cI\u2019m always happy, regardless of whether or not I\u2019m in a relationship.\u201d<\/p>\n

                \n
              1. Create a life changing morning focus routine.<\/strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                By far, and I mean by far, one of the biggest things that saved my life when I was in the dumps was a morning routine.<\/p>\n

                Now I don\u2019t know about you, but for me the morning is often the least focused, and the unhappiest part of the day. My mind wanders. I\u2019m tired. I\u2019m groggy.<\/p>\n

                There were a few things I started doing that immediately jumpstarted my day and put me on the trajectory I wanted to be on.<\/p>\n

                Here\u2019s what that looked like:<\/p>\n

                10 minutes of yoga, <\/strong>which helped me wake up, provided my brain with oxygen, and made the next step easier.<\/p>\n

                10 minutes of meditation<\/strong>, which helped me start the day with a \u201cclear\u201d head and no negativity in my mind.<\/p>\n

                10 minutes of visualizing my goals<\/strong>, which allowed me to focus on what I wanted<\/em> in my life \u2013 and made me consider how I could possibly get there.<\/p>\n

                This three-part morning routine has dramatically impacted my life – and years later I still do this.<\/p>\n

                  \n
                1. Think about what you want \u2013 not what you don\u2019t want.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                  When life isn\u2019t going well, it\u2019s extremely easy to think about all the stuff that isn\u2019t going well.<\/p>\n

                  \u201cUgh, I hate my job.\u201d<\/p>\n

                  \u201cUgh, did my partner just really say that to me?\u201d<\/p>\n

                  \u201cUgh, I\u2019m so tired of waking up to this routine I hate.\u201d<\/p>\n

                  Unfortunately, when we do this the mind simply filters out all the good stuff, and keeps us looking for the bad stuff.<\/p>\n

                  Have you ever dated someone for a long time (or been married) and found yourself one day picking out a particular \u201cflaw\u201d the person had \u2013 and then all you could see was flaws for days or weeks on end?<\/p>\n

                  The mind is funny like that \u2013 when we emphasize what\u2019s not working, we keep finding more things that aren\u2019t working.<\/p>\n

                  But the opposite is also true \u2013 when we focus on all the awesome things in life, we begin to see and experience more of them.<\/p>\n

                    \n
                  1. Make uncertainty known.<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                    One of the things that really prevented me from taking action was overwhelm with all of the things I felt like I could be doing to improve my life, when I was at rock bottom.<\/p>\n

                    \u201cDo I get a new job?\u201d<\/p>\n

                    \u201cDo I make new friends first?\u201d<\/p>\n

                    \u201cDo I pick up some new hobbies?\u201d<\/p>\n

                    Through all of the overwhelm, one exercise helped me immensely: I just wrote down all the things frustrating or confusing me, and I learned that once they were down on paper, they either weren\u2019t as confusing as I thought, or they were not as scary as I thought.<\/p>\n

                    In fact, they usually weren\u2019t that big of a deal. Just by putting my fears on paper it made everything a lot clearer.<\/p>\n

                    When we\u2019re afraid, just by writing down the problem it can help us distance ourselves from it, and get the clarity we need to move forward.<\/p>\n

                    These ten daily habits dramatically improved my life and helped me get through a long period at the bottom \u2013 what has helped you?<\/p>\n

                    About Alex: <\/strong>Alex is the founder of Modern Health Monk<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0\u2013 an integrative health site that shows busy professionals how to look and feel amazing\u00a0using the psychology of habit change. You can grab his free guide here<\/strong>: 5 daily habits to help you get your dream body<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                    Here are ten of the best habits from my research to help you become happier today \u2013 even if your life feels like it\u2019s in the dumps. 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