{"id":31514,"date":"2015-03-23T20:25:21","date_gmt":"2015-03-24T04:25:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=31514"},"modified":"2016-12-14T19:45:46","modified_gmt":"2016-12-15T03:45:46","slug":"3-ways-heal-shame","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/3-ways-heal-shame\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Ways To Heal Your Shame"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

The storyteller in our heads is so used to being judgmental, cruel and even vicious, telling us not only that we did something wrong (this is guilt), but that we are bad and wrong (this is shame). \u00a0And it influences our lives from underneath our everyday awareness, keeping us cut off from the vast and healing regions of our own hearts.\u00a0 I used to have an extremely cruel judger inside of me and as I began to be curious about it, listening to what it was saying, I discovered that the judger never sees things clearly.<\/p>\n

There are 3 things that can help you to unhook from the voices of guilt and shame:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0 Relate to<\/em>, not\u00a0from<\/em>, your shame<\/strong><\/p>\n

It helps to understand that Life is in charge of Life.\u00a0 Life puts you in situations to help you see your shame and all of the other states, so you can learn to\u00a0relate to<\/em>\u00a0them rather than\u00a0from<\/em>\u00a0them.\u00a0 So, how can you relate to these stories and begin to heal your shame? \u00a0By being curious about what is here rather than trying to change, numb or bury the feelings. \u00a0 The healing you long for happens when you can be with\u00a0what is<\/em>.\u00a0 It is not easy, especially feelings of shame, because the stories in your head can be very seductive.\u00a0 Your unconscious mind really and truly believes that you are only okay if you do life perfectly.\u00a0 Of course,\u00a0perfectly<\/em>\u00a0is a very relative position.\u00a0 Perfect to one person is not perfect to another.\u00a0 The more you wake up, the more you see that everything is exactly as it needs to be.\u00a0 It is never about what is going on at the surface.\u00a0 It is always about what is going on underneath.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0 Be curious and compassionate with the judger<\/strong><\/p>\n

Judging has been a key part of your survival system.\u00a0 You were conditioned to think this way when you were very young.\u00a0 You can\u00a0learn to be curious by asking the question, \u201cWhat does this bring up inside of me?\u201d and then you can bring compassion to the parts that need your attention right now.\u00a0 \u201cOh, the judger is here.\u00a0 I see you.\u00a0 You are the one who believes I am doing it wrong (or I am wrong).\u201d\u00a0\u00a0The only power the judger has over you is when you think it is the voice of truth. \u00a0But it is not. \u00a0You can learn how to see this judging quality in your head rather than believing what it is saying. \u00a0You can even move beyond judging this judger!<\/p>\n

As you become curious, you can learn to unhook from these states, or what I call spells.\u00a0\u00a0 The next time something happens in your life that brings up feelings of shame, ask yourself the question, \u201cWhat are the stories that my shame voice is believing right now?\u201d\u00a0 Remember,\u00a0it is a process.\u00a0 In discovering the phenomenal healing power of being curious and compassionate , you will have access to it and then you forget, and then you remember at a deeper level and you forget, and you go to an even deeper level of remembering and then you forget, only to remember again.\u00a0 That is how life teaches us.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0 Tune into your body and feel the shame<\/strong><\/p>\n

You have probably buried most of your shame your entire adult life and have tried to pretend it doesn\u2019t exist, or in some cases, you may not even be aware it exists.\u00a0 But it does.\u00a0 As you are awakening, Life is bringing you very uncomfortable experiences for a reason.\u00a0 They are tailor-made for you, custom-designed so that your feelings will come out of hiding and you can say \u201cI see you.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 When this happens,\u00a0tune into your body and ask yourself, \u201cWhere in my body do I feel the shame?\u00a0 Is it in my belly?\u201d\u00a0 Say hello to the tight belly and soften.\u00a0 Put your hand gently on your belly and say, \u201cI see you.\u201d\u00a0 If it is in your neck, back, or shoulders, give these tight, uncomfortable places your attention.\u00a0 Maybe even give them a little massage now and then.\u00a0 Be gentle with yourself. \u00a0These are moments of healing.<\/p>\n

The next time something happens in your life that brings up feelings of shame, ask yourself this question, \u201cHow can I be with this feeling right now?\u201d\u00a0 And then say hello to the one who feels he\/she is bad and wrong.<\/p>\n

—————–<\/p>\n

Mary O\u2019Malley is an author, counselor and awakening mentor who resides in Kirkland, Washington.\u00a0 In the early 1970\u2019s, a powerful awakening led Mary to begin changing her relationship with her challenges, freeing her from a lifelong struggle with darkness. \u00a0For over 30 years, Mary has been helping others heal their fears, anxieties, shame and confusion.\u00a0 Her latest book, What\u2019s In the Way IS the Way, is a guide for transforming struggle into the peace and joy that is our birthright.\u00a0 Eckhart Tolle says, \u201cThank you Mary, for your contribution to the evolution of human consciousness.\u201d\u00a0 www.whatsinthewayistheway.com <\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You have probably buried most of your shame your entire adult life and have tried to pretend it doesn\u2019t exist, or in some cases, you may not even be aware it exists. 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