{"id":30627,"date":"2015-03-13T08:33:51","date_gmt":"2015-03-13T16:33:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=30627"},"modified":"2015-03-15T21:21:16","modified_gmt":"2015-03-16T05:21:16","slug":"5-keys-to-self-discipline","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-keys-to-self-discipline\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Keys to Self-Discipline \u2013 Resist Temptations Like a Monk (and Achieve Your Long-Term Goals)"},"content":{"rendered":"
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If you want to make any kind of changes in your life, it\u2019s self-discipline that will either help you reach your goal (when you have a lot of self-discipline) or send you back to square one (in case you have little of it).<\/p>\n

How do you build self-discipline and resist temptations in order to achieve your long-term goals? In this blog post, I\u2019ll share with you the 5 keys to self-discipline<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

1. Powerful Motivation \u2013 Your \u201cWhy\u201d<\/h2>\n

No matter how much self-discipline you possess, you can\u2019t force yourself to keep doing something you hate<\/strong> (I know, I\u2019m a college dropout). Consequently, if you don\u2019t have a good, empowering reason why you want to do something, you won\u2019t succeed.<\/p>\n

Self-discipline is all about choosing your long-term goals over your temptations. If your long-term goals won\u2019t bring a much bigger reward than the craving you feel now, guess what\u2026 Your chances of resisting a temptation are zero. Zilch. Nada.<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t mean that having a powerful \u201cwhy\u201d alone will solve all your problems, but it will make things much easier.<\/p>\n

So\u2026 What is your big \u201cwhy?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s imagine your goal is to lose weight. That\u2019s a fine goal, but it won\u2019t be enough when you feel an overwhelming craving to eat chocolate.<\/p>\n

This goal doesn\u2019t elicit a powerful emotional response because it\u2019s not specific enough. It doesn\u2019t tell a story. It doesn\u2019t give you a reason why you want to achieve it.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s switch it to something more specific \u2013 you want to lose 20 pounds before the end of spring to go to Hawaii for vacation. Now that\u2019s a much better goal, isn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

Imagine yourself on the beach, enjoying the warm rays of sun in that sexy bikini (or cool swimming shorts) and feeling healthy and vibrant in your new body. Imagine running after a beach ball and smelling the fresh ocean. Imagine the energy flowing through your body, fueling you to discover all the Hawaiian islands offer. Imagine all the great memories you\u2019ll take home.<\/p>\n

Now look at that chocolate bar. Is it really worth it to give up this powerful vision for a short burst of sugar?<\/p>\n

If your \u201cwhy\u201d is powerful enough, you won\u2019t hesitate with your answer \u2013 \u201cHell no!\u201d<\/p>\n

Key #1:<\/strong> Come up with a powerful reason why you want to stick to your goals. Remind yourself of it each time you\u2019re tempted to give up.<\/p>\n

2. Habits<\/h2>\n

What most people don\u2019t realize about habits is that we can use them in place of self-discipline<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s right, you don\u2019t necessarily need any more self-discipline than you have now if you use the power of habits to make changes in your life.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s say you have a habit of brushing your teeth right after you wake up (I really hope you have such a habit). Do you need any amount of self-discipline to brush your teeth every single day?<\/p>\n

No? That\u2019s what I thought. It would be bad if you did.<\/p>\n

Anyway, I digress.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s say you want to introduce some changes in your life, but you have a hard time resisting temptations. Saying no to a craving is hard job, especially during the first few weeks of making changes in your life.<\/p>\n

But it needn\u2019t have to be that hard if you know the process of creating habits. Here it is:<\/p>\n

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  1. Come up with a cue<\/strong>. It\u2019s a signal to perform your habit.<\/li>\n
  2. Come up with an action<\/strong>. It\u2019s what you do after the signal.<\/li>\n
  3. Come up with a reward.<\/strong> What will motivate you to take the action? It can be drinking a smoothie after a workout. Reading a book for one hour after working on your side business. A night out with your friends. And so on.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Let\u2019s say you want to introduce a habit of eating a cup of vegetables a day. Here\u2019s how you can go about it:<\/p>\n

    Cue:<\/strong> let\u2019s build this habit on top of another habit. If you usually eat dinner at 3 PM make it your cue to peel vegetables BEFORE you eat anything else or order them first (before the main course).<\/p>\n

    Action:<\/strong> eating a cup of vegetables.<\/p>\n

    Reward:<\/strong> ask yourself what would motivate you to keep repeating this behavior. Does the feeling after eating a healthy meal makes you proud? That\u2019s your potential reward. Do you need something more tangible? Reward yourself with something healthy, but pleasant, e.g. taking a brief nap or drinking your favorite tea\/coffee.<\/p>\n

    When your new behavior becomes automated (it takes on average 66 days to form a new habit<\/strong>), you won\u2019t need self-discipline to keep doing it.<\/p>\n

    What if you want to modify a habit?<\/p>\n

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    1. Identify the routine.<\/strong> What\u2019s the negative behavior you want to get rid of? Let\u2019s say it\u2019s eating a chocolate bar right after dinner.<\/li>\n
    2. Identify the reward<\/strong>. Why you do what you do? It takes some testing to find the right answer.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      First, let\u2019s find out if it\u2019s hunger that motivates you to eat it. Eat a larger portion than before \u2013 so much that you\u2019re stuffed. Do you still crave a chocolate bar? If so, test another potential reward you\u2019re seeking.<\/p>\n

      Replace a chocolate bar with a candy. Do you still crave a chocolate bar? No? It means you don\u2019t crave chocolate, but probably just something sweet.<\/p>\n

      Let\u2019s test it further. Replace the candy with an apple. Do you still crave junk food? If not, you\u2019ve identified the reward you\u2019re seeking. Do you still want to eat junk food? Keep searching.<\/p>\n

      Let\u2019s test another possibility \u2013 eat something you\u2019ve never eaten before (or something you eat rarely). Do you still crave that chocolate bar? If not, you\u2019ve identified the reward. Your diet is too bland and you eat sweets to bring some variety into your diet.<\/p>\n

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      1. Identify the cue.<\/strong> When and where exactly do you feel the craving? What were you doing before you thought about it? Who was with you? How did you feel? Just like when identifying the reward, isolate different potential cues.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        Once you have it all figured out, you can come up with an alternative behavior to your existing bad one. If you always eat a chocolate bar right after dinner because you\u2019re tired of your bland diet, eat a different piece of fruit right after each meal. Or use different spices for your main meal. Or try different food altogether. If it was the need for variation that motivated you to eat a chocolate bar, these changes should do the trick.<\/p>\n

        Modify all of your bad habits in a similar way.<\/p>\n

        Key #2:<\/strong> Create habits that will automate your healthy behaviors (and prevent the bad ones).<\/p>\n

        3. Self-Awareness<\/h2>\n

        Have you ever given in to a temptation without paying any attention to what you were doing?<\/p>\n

        Don\u2019t feel bad, we\u2019re all guilty of this behavior.<\/p>\n

        Studies show that distracted shoppers are more likely to sample food at the sampling station in the supermarket<\/strong>. And why wouldn\u2019t they? If you\u2019re distracted, the logical part of your brain is gone and you\u2019re left with that nasty, spoiled brat part of your brain that wants everything now.<\/p>\n

        Self-awareness is a big thing that can make or break your resolutions. If your mind constantly wanders anywhere but where you currently are, you\u2019ll find it hard to say no to a craving. And then your \u201cwhy\u201d is of no use \u2013 you won\u2019t even think about it before a piece of chocolate disappears in your mouth (or before you go to sleep instead of going to the gym).<\/p>\n

        How do you solve this problem? Obviously, the first step is to cut down on everyday distractions<\/strong>. Social media, texting, and other notifications in your phone can successfully drive you mind away from what you\u2019re doing. And if you happen to be shopping, don\u2019t be surprised your shopping bags are stuffed to the brim with things that weren\u2019t supposed to find their way into your pantry.<\/p>\n

        The second step, which is actually a huge part of self-discipline, is meditation. Meditation trains your mind to stay focused on the present moment.<\/strong> It takes a lot of willpower to sit still and focus on your breath \u2013 even for just a couple minutes.<\/p>\n

        It\u2019s not just my opinion. Studies show that meditation induces white matter changes in the anterior cingulate (don\u2019t ask me, I have no idea where it is, either) which leads to improved self-control. Boom \u2013 here\u2019s your new habit to become more self-disciplined.<\/p>\n

        Start with a 5-minute session every morning. Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes and focus on each inhale and exhale. Your mind will drift away \u2013 that\u2019s okay. Just make an effort to bring it back to your breath.<\/p>\n

        A couple weeks of such practice will help you calm down your overactive brain and become more aware in the situations in which your self-discipline is tested.<\/p>\n

        Key #3:<\/strong> Learn how to focus more on the present moment. Absent-mindedness is one of the most common reasons why people are unable to resist their cravings.<\/p>\n

        4. Your Social Circle<\/h2>\n

        Various scientific studies confirm that social influence is a significant factor in obesity. If a family member or a friend is obese, you\u2019re much more likely to be obese, too. The closer someone is to you, the more influence she has on you.<\/p>\n

        Motivational speaker Jim Rohn once famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Guess he knew before scientists how powerful social influence can be.<\/p>\n

        What all of this have to do with self-discipline?<\/p>\n

        Self-discipline isn\u2019t any different from obesity. Just like you\u2019re more likely to pick up bad eating habits when your friends have them, so can they affect your self-discipline<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

        I have a childhood friend who started hanging out with less than ambitious individuals. A couple months later, his everyday life was pretty much the copy of the lives of these people \u2013 playing computer games, hanging out in the neighborhood doing nothing, and consuming unhealthy substances on a daily basis.<\/p>\n

        Only when he cut the ties with these people a couple years later, his life advanced. He got back on track to make positive changes in his life and his self-discipline improved so much he was able to get rid of most of the bad habits \u201ccontracted\u201d from these people.<\/p>\n

        Does your social circle encourage you to make positive changes or does it have a detrimental effect on your life? Is there anybody who makes you feel particularly good and anybody who always challenges your willpower? How can you reduce the time spent with the person who has a negative influence on your life and spend more time with the empowering one?<\/p>\n

        In every area of life, the easiest path to success is to hang around like-minded, successful individuals. Here are a couple ways how you can use the power of social influence in your life:<\/p>\n

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        1. Participate in online forums and groups<\/strong>. You don\u2019t have to get rid of your friends. Just spend more time interacting with success-oriented folks online to get some of their energy into your life.<\/li>\n
        2. Have a role model or get a coach<\/strong>. If you can afford it, get a coach who will keep you accountable and whose habits and qualities you\u2019d like to have. If you can\u2019t get a coach, find a mentor through books. Have this person in mind when tempted to give in.<\/li>\n
        3. Partner up.<\/strong> Find someone who wants to introduce the same changes as you and keep each other accountable. It can be your friend, family member, or someone met online (or in the real world, say, in the local gym).<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          Key #4:<\/strong> Surround yourself with people who will empower you instead of tempting you to give up.<\/p>\n

          5. Stress<\/h2>\n

          Have you ever gave in to a temptation because you wanted to recompense yourself for a bad emotion?<\/p>\n

          If you\u2019re anything like me (and millions others), it happened to you more than once.<\/p>\n

          Willpower is just a small piece of a bigger puzzle. If one of the parts doesn\u2019t fit, the rest doesn\u2019t add up, either. One of the factors that has a huge effect on your life and your self-discipline \u2013 a huge piece of a puzzle \u2013 is something most people underestimate. I\u2019m talking about\u2026 stress.<\/p>\n

          An Australian study on students shows that stress makes you extremely poor at self-control<\/strong>. Students who were stressed because of exams reported an increase in smoking and caffeine consumption. Their diet and sleep deteriorated, they struggled with controlling their emotions, exercised less, paid less attention to household chores and self-care habits. They also cared less about commitments and spending.<\/p>\n

          All in all, they were in a pretty rough shape. All because of stress.<\/p>\n

          The moment your mood goes sour, your ever supportive brain starts looking for something to lift your spirits \u2013 usually an easy to get reward you want to avoid \u2013 eating, drinking, smoking, shopping, surfing the Internet, playing video games, and so on.<\/p>\n

          Stress is an inherent part of our lives, and it\u2019s foolish to believe we can completely eliminate it. But it doesn\u2019t mean you have to let it affect your self-discipline. Simple activities can greatly reduce the levels of stress in your life. The key is to focus on techniques that provide a longer stress-relieving response, not a quick release of tension<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

          Here are a couple healthy ways to reduce stress \u2013 without challenging your self-control.<\/p>\n