{"id":2860,"date":"2010-07-05T10:26:06","date_gmt":"2010-07-05T18:26:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=2860"},"modified":"2013-08-22T13:33:20","modified_gmt":"2013-08-22T21:33:20","slug":"the-key-to-an-effortless-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/the-key-to-an-effortless-life\/","title":{"rendered":"The Key To An Effortless Life"},"content":{"rendered":"
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A few months ago I had a toothache and so I went to see a dentist. He had a look at the problem and then knocked off a bit of my tooth and smoothed the rough edge down. I can feel it now as I\u2019m writing this. He told me that he could try to build the tooth back up, but that a basic rule of dentistry is that removal strengthens and addition weakens.<\/p>\n

I am not a Buddhist and I don\u2019t know much about Buddhism. But one thing I know \u2013 and I think it\u2019s probably all I need or care to know \u2013 is that Buddhism teaches a simple truth: suffering comes from attachment, and the end of attachment is the end of suffering. So whenever you can feel yourself feeling bad, you know you\u2019ve become attached to something. Something matters to you.<\/p>\n

There is no end to the list of things you can be attached to, no end to the things that can matter to you, things that you care about, things that have meaning for you. People sometimes talk about the \u2018meaning of life\u2019 \u2013 in the Buddhist view, meaning means suffering. So the way to stop suffering is to relinquish meaning. Let it go. Surrender.<\/p>\n

So what\u2019s at the top of the list<\/strong>? What means the most to you? Your marriage? Your job? Money? The stories you tell yourself about who or what you are?<\/p>\n

But here is the root of the matter \u2013 nothing ever stays the same. The world is constantly changing, and so are you.\u00a0 Trying to hold on to something that\u2019s always changing is like trying to tie water up in a brown paper package \u2013 it can\u2019t be done and only makes you angry (or sad, or frustrated, or depressed, or a whole host of bad stuff). Trying to hold onto impermanent things (ie everything) is a recipe for unhappiness and pain.<\/p>\n

So what\u2019s the alternative<\/strong>? Instead of clinging, recognize the truth \u2013 that you are always changing, and so is the world \u2013 and so to follow the moving currents of life is the only sensible option if you want to be happy. This means letting go of your stories about what matters. It means giving up everything \u2013 in a sense, it means losing yourself. When you see the world through your own eyes, not the eyes of who you tell yourself you are \u2013 wife, father, teacher, introvert, victim, leader \u2013 it\u2019s all so different.<\/p>\n

Just as in dentistry, in life, subtracting is always better than adding. When you drop the stories you\u2019ve been telling yourself, drop the labels \u2013 when all that stuff doesn\u2019t matter any more \u2013 something strange happens. Life starts to work. All the things you cared about and strived for start to show up. The philosopher of Asian religion, Alan Watts, called this the \u2018law of reversed effort\u2019 \u2013 when a man who can\u2019t swim struggles to stay afloat, he sinks, but when he yields to the water, he floats; when a fly in a spiders\u2019 web struggles to become free, it only enmeshes itself more in the web.\u00a0 Being still, watching as life unfolds, unattached (not caring about stuff)and letting things work in their own miraculous way is also called the \u2018art of allowing.\u2019<\/p>\n

The truth of the matter is that, whatever we might think, we cannot force life to go our way. When I was a kid, my dad taught me how to saw wood \u2013 he told me to make sure I was moving along the grain, and to let the saw do the work. After a bit of practice, it did indeed feel as if the saw was doing all the work. I was there, holding the saw, but there was a kind of letting go, a kind of effortlessness that led to more effective results. By working with the grain of wood, a carpenter can create amazing and stylish pieces of furniture, but he has to respect the integrity of the material \u2013 the way it flows. By sailing \u2013 or tacking \u2013 with the wind, a skilful sailor can travel enormous distances, but she has to be observant and follow the changing air currents.<\/p>\n

I am not a Buddhist. That\u2019s another label, another story to tell myself. But to let go of attachment, to stop caring about things, to allow life to unfold and, in so doing, to achieve more, seems to me like a better way to live.<\/p>\n

Mark Harrison writes for a number of self development sites, including his own, ChangeYourLife.net<\/a>. Check out his latest book, Thirty Days to Change Your Life<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

Don’t forget to follow PickTheBrain on Twitter!<\/a><\/p>\n

Related Articles:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

10 Ways To Improve Your Mind By Reading The Classics<\/a><\/p>\n

5 Ways To Stay Motivated To Finish What You Started<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

But one thing I know \u2013 and I think it\u2019s probably all I need or care to know \u2013 is that Buddhism teaches a simple truth: suffering comes from attachment, and the end of attachment is the end of suffering. 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