{"id":27029,"date":"2014-08-07T23:19:58","date_gmt":"2014-08-08T07:19:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=27029"},"modified":"2014-08-11T21:06:54","modified_gmt":"2014-08-12T05:06:54","slug":"10-signs-you-dont-love-yourself-enough-and-what-to-do-about-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/10-signs-you-dont-love-yourself-enough-and-what-to-do-about-it\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Signs You Don\u2019t Love Yourself Enough  (And What To Do About It)"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/LOVE-ME-TODAY-MGD\u00a9.jpg\"><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><b>Note:<\/b> <\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><em>If you find yourself feeling uncomfortable while reading this, remind yourself that uneasiness can signal a positive change; in fact, the greater the discomfort, the bigger and better the coming change.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><em>Instead of turning away, I encourage you to do the opposite: mark the ones you like the least, choose the worst one of those and dive into the \u201cStep by Step\u201d below.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h1 align=\"center\"><strong><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">The Signs<\/span><\/strong><\/h1>\n<ol>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">You find yourself pushing to do just a little more of what you do not want to be doing, and then a little more after that, and\u2026<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a02.\u00a0 <\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">You become angry at yourself when you make mistakes.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a03.\u00a0 <\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">You are critical of your decisions, your behavior and parts of your body too; in general, you do not say nice things to yourself, but you say lots of the other kind.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a04.\u00a0 Y<\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">ou put off eating, urinating and other important needs.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a05.\u00a0 <\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">You have a tendency to put others first.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a06.\u00a0 <\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">You find it difficult to speak up for yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a07.\u00a0 <\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">You make some personal decisions NOT based on your likes and dislikes, NOT based on your needs and desires but on the hope of getting someone\u2019s attention or approval.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a08.\u00a0 <\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Your plants struggle from a lack of attention; you do not clean your pet\u2019s dishes and sleeping area very often.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a09.\u00a0 <\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">You do not see a way to make your <i>dreams <\/i>happen, or you do not have dreams.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a010.\u00a0<\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> You wish you could live your life <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">your<\/span> way.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 align=\"center\"><strong><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">\u00a0More Care?<\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">The following is for those who have trouble with number four, and it is a good illustration for the others too.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">How long do you suffer with that headache, tooth or earache before seeking relief?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">How long do you put up with that annoying drip in the sink, the rug you keep tripping over and that problem with the microwave? \u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Are you still wearing those ill-fitting pants, putting up with that noise in the car and struggling in the dark because of that same broken light?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">In general, those who give themselves little have little to give others, and of course their own lives are more difficult too.\u00a0 The first step to changing <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">every<\/span> one of the 10 Signs is to realize that self-care is not something extra, not something for when you have time.\u00a0 <b>It is absolutely vital<\/b>!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 align=\"center\"><strong><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">\u00a0Step By Step<\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">A. Start by letting any lack of self-care be okay (and not something else to hit yourself with.\u00a0 Letter D below can help with this). \u00a0A universal truth is that you have always done the best you can, just as you are right now\u2014always.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0B. <\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Next, give yourself permission to feel uncomfortable: strangely enough, stepping up to give yourself more care can feel somewhere between slightly irritating and very painful; but, after awhile, these feelings weaken and disappear.\u00a0 You can disappear them faster by letting yourself experience whatever emotional discomfort comes up.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0C. <\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Now, choose one of the 10 signs; make it the one that brings up the most negative feelings OR the one you just want more of in your life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0D. <\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Whenever you find yourself NOT caring for you in that way, take a deep breath and release the tension in your body.\u00a0 On each out-breath continue to let go and relax.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0E. <\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">In this calmer, relaxed state, you will find that choosing self-care is easier.\u00a0 As you begin to act, continue breathing and letting go.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0F. <\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">In the beginning, there can be a gap between deciding to act and actually doing it; if you find this to be true, focus on acting sooner, rather than immediately, and continue reminding yourself that you <b>are<\/b> doing the best you can.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0G. <\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Keep a record: write the change you want at the top; make a mark each time you act (along with any thoughts you have about doing it sooner or better); and total them daily, weekly and monthly.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0H. <\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">If there are times when you just cannot act: breathe and relax; let those times be okay, they are part of the process.\u00a0 Do not keep track of them, except for notes on how to do better.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">\u00a0I. <\/span><span style=\"color: #000000;\">After working with the first one awhile, choose a second Way to increase your self-care.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">This is the harsh truth: there is only person on the planet who has been assigned the job of caring for you; and there is nobody that can do it as well as you\u2014nor is there anybody else truly interested.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Support yourself by writing the following in big letters and posting it in easy view: <i>My care and happiness are completely up to me!\u00a0 <\/i><i>It has always been this way.\u00a0 It will always be this way.\u00a0 <\/i><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">And make self-care a life-long process, because it is what you (and those in your life) deserve.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/5-jpeg.jpg\"><img class=\"alignnone  wp-image-27032\" alt=\"5 jpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/5-jpeg-300x300.jpg\" width=\"102\" height=\"102\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/5-jpeg-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/5-jpeg-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/5-jpeg.jpg 451w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 102px) 100vw, 102px\" \/><\/a>\u00a0\u00a0 <strong><i>Daniel Speraw<\/i><\/strong>:\u00a0 I began writing in 1982 with a nationally-syndicated newspaper column and have written 9 books\u2014all on self-growth; I currently have 2500 followers on Twitter (@DanielSperaw); and on my blog you can find &#8220;<b>Let OTHERS Build YOUR Self-Esteem&#8221; <\/b>at this link: <a href=\"http:\/\/bit.ly\/EsteemForYou\">http:\/\/bit.ly\/EsteemForYou<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is the harsh truth: there is only person on the planet who has been assigned the job of caring for you; and there is nobody that can do it as well as you\u2014nor is there anybody else truly interested.  <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/10-signs-you-dont-love-yourself-enough-and-what-to-do-about-it\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":27030,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[6],"tags":[3755,3756,590,3757,981,1502,3758,54,492,4629,3759],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>10 Signs You Don\u2019t Love Yourself Enough (And What To Do About It) - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"love yourself - how to increase feeling positive about you\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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