{"id":26345,"date":"2014-06-15T19:42:19","date_gmt":"2014-06-16T03:42:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=26345"},"modified":"2014-06-16T03:26:07","modified_gmt":"2014-06-16T11:26:07","slug":"5-step-process-dealing-negative-thoughts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-step-process-dealing-negative-thoughts\/","title":{"rendered":"5-Step Process for Dealing with Negative Thoughts"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/p>\n

Like most aspiring NBA basketball players, I had an ear for doubters.\u00a0When I heard anything indirectly or directly regarding the low probability of\u00a0making it into the NBA, I would quickly dismiss such buffoonery.<\/p>\n

“I work too hard not to make it! You think Kobe Bryant works hard at his game? Larry Bird? Michael Jordon? Think again! You haven\u2019t spent a day with me! I\u2019ll show you!”<\/p>\n

I remembered the doubters because I wanted to prove them wrong. I remembered the believers because I wanted to prove them right.
\nHowever if I thought, \u201cI don\u2019t know if I\u2019m good enough to make the NBA?\u201d<\/p>\n

I would give the thought credence. I would think that maybe it\u2019s true? Maybe I wouldn\u2019t make it to the NBA? I wouldn\u2019t dismiss it, instead I would let the doubt settle within me and allow it to impact my game \u2013 I would pass up open shots, I would traverse
\nthe court worried about making a mistake. I would simply play terrible basketball. Well below my capabilities.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t make the NBA. I didn\u2019t make it for many reasons. One of those reasons was my inability to deal with negative thoughts. It was a struggle in high school and it continued through college and after.<\/p>\n

My coach, parents and friends would tell me that I can\u2019t think that way and I have to be positive to make it to where I want to go. The NBA, college, graduate school and wherever else I wanted to make it.<\/p>\n

I would nod and accept their useless advice but be screaming internally, \u201cBut I\u2019m not thinking positive! I\u2019m thinking negative! I can\u2019t just shut it off. Thoughts don\u2019t just go away because I want them to! What am I supposed to do?\u201d<\/p>\n

Negative thoughts are not a physical injury, so why are they treated as such? If you have a broken leg, you rest it. You avoid putting weight on it for a while, you get a cast, you go through physical therapy and then you\u00a0gradually put weight on it until weeks or months later, your leg is no longer broken.<\/p>\n

But with negative thoughts, there is no cure. Psychiatrists pretend to have the cure, but there isn\u2019t one. Negative thoughts aren\u2019t going anywhere. There is no ridged set of exercises that will eventually rid your mind of negative thoughts. Negative thoughts will persist and that\u2019s not a bad thing.<\/p>\n

Your Thoughts are a Gift<\/h2>\n

Negative thoughts are a warning. They are our primitive protective instincts\u00a0being verbalized. They are not some abnormality that needs a remedy.\u00a0When we feel nervous our mind will put our nervousness into words, and\u00a0then we have the opportunity with our human higher executive functioning,\u00a0to act how we choose.<\/p>\n

Instead of sprinting in the opposite direction of a pretty girl, I have the\u00a0opportunity to rationalize my emotions. I think about how pretty she looks, I\u00a0worry about saying something stupid or being rejected, and then I either\u00a0talk to her or I don\u2019t. I don\u2019t sprint or start punching random people around\u00a0me. I realize that the increase in adrenalin is not a sign of danger. It\u2019s just
\nme responding to someone I find attractive.<\/p>\n

This is the gift and to some (including myself at times) look at it as a curse.\u00a0It would be nice if I could approach every pretty girl or every big\u00a0presentation without the worrisome thoughts \u2013 What if my voice cracks? I\u00a0don\u2019t know what I\u2019m talking about. Everyone in this room hates me or\u00a0thinks I\u2019m stupid. Or both!<\/p>\n

It would be nice but it\u2019s not realistic. It\u2019s the give and take of being a living\u00a0breathing human being. We can rationalize, read, write and make\u00a0conscious purposeful decisions; however the gift that allows us to do these\u00a0wonderful things can be a curse that limits our potential.<\/p>\n

5 Step Process to Utilizing your Gift<\/h2>\n

Thoughts do NOT have to be connected to behavior, nor should they be.\u00a0There are times when you want to act in the opposite direction of your\u00a0thoughts. This process will help you utilize the gift that is your thoughts.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. \u201cI can\u2019t walk\u201d<\/strong>. Simply walk around wherever you are, and say, \u201cI\u00a0can\u2019t walk\u201d. You can say it out loud or to yourself. Do this for a\u00a0minute \u2013 walking and saying, \u201cI can\u2019t walk\u201d and notice how your mind\u00a0and body change over the course of one minute.<\/li>\n
  2. Choose two simple tasks.<\/strong> In addition to walking, try a few more\u00a0easy tasks like brushing your teeth or picking up a pillow and say I\u00a0can\u2019t ________. Over the next week, take a minute or so a day and\u00a0do these exercises.<\/li>\n
  3. Increase the difficulty.<\/strong> After one week, increase the difficulty on\u00a0the tasks. Instead of walking, try jogging for ten seconds. Instead of\u00a0picking up a pillow, pick up two pillows or a 10-pound weight, while\u00a0saying, \u201cI can\u2019t ______.\u201d\u00a0Notice the separation. After a while you will begin to notice real life\u00a0examples where you have negative thoughts. Recognize these\u00a0thoughts for what they are and realize that they don\u2019t have to impact\u00a0your behavior.<\/li>\n
  4. Accept it.<\/strong> Thoughts and feelings occur in numerous ways\u00a0throughout the day and they aren\u2019t out to get you. In fact they are\u00a0trying to help you but they aren\u2019t perfect. Sometimes you have to let\u00a0a thought occur and act in opposition to it.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    You can give a great presentation, when you think you won\u2019t. You can be\u00a0smooth, when you feel awkward. You can say the right thing, when you\u00a0think the wrong thing. You can act positive in the face of negative thoughts.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Guido Saltarelli blogs at Adept Mind<\/a>\u00a0where he shares his insights on self-improvement, dealing with a hypercritical mind and writing. Follow him on Twitter<\/a> and say hi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    You can say the right thing, when you think the wrong thing. You can act positive in the face of negative thoughts. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":26363,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[205,6],"tags":[4653,4642,2185,595,66,387,4629,1419],"yoast_head":"\n5-Step Process for Dealing with Negative Thoughts - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"You can say the right thing, when you think the wrong thing. 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