{"id":25206,"date":"2014-03-27T21:06:53","date_gmt":"2014-03-28T05:06:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=25206"},"modified":"2014-03-27T21:06:53","modified_gmt":"2014-03-28T05:06:53","slug":"soft-overcomes-hard-control-emotions-tai-chi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/soft-overcomes-hard-control-emotions-tai-chi\/","title":{"rendered":"Soft Overcomes Hard: Control Your Emotions with Tai Chi"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/a>One of the deepest teachings of Tai Chi philosophy is to overcome hardness with softness.\u00a0 A classic example of this is water \u2013 it is the embodiment of softness, but it carved out the Grand Canyon.\u00a0 How can we apply this concept to everyday life?<\/p>\n

So much of our mental anguish is caused by resistance and emotional \u2018hardness.\u2019\u00a0 For example, this morning on my way to work I got cut off by another driver.\u00a0 Initially this infuriated me; then I told myself, \u201cYou idiot, how can you get angry about something so little?\u201d\u00a0 At that point, my negativity was multiplying on itself \u2013 I was angry about being angry.<\/p>\n

\n

Does the above situation sound familiar to you?\u00a0 If so, try out the following three step method to help get your emotions under control.\u00a0 This technique is called the PRP method (short for permission, reframe, perspective) and is adapted from Tal-Ben Shahar\u2019s book The Pursuit of Perfect<\/i><\/a>.<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/b>Permission<\/b><\/p>\n

Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is that you\u2019re feeling.\u00a0 Fighting the emotion will only cause it to multiply, as in the example above.\u00a0 However, if you accept that the emotion has arisen, this presence gives it space to run its course.<\/p>\n

All emotions are manifested through certain hormones\u2019 release into your bloodstream, eg adrenaline for stress or endorphins for happiness.\u00a0 However, these hormones will run their course in an average of 15 seconds<\/i><\/a>.<\/i>\u00a0 If your emotion lasts longer than this, it\u2019s because your thoughts about the situation continue to stimulate an emotional response.\u00a0 By allowing the emotion to arise without fighting it, you aid in its inevitable passing away.<\/p>\n

This is the most important step, and also the most difficult.\u00a0 Often we cannot accept our emotions.\u00a0 If you can\u2019t accept your emotion, simply accept your unacceptance.\u00a0 Any form of resistance will multiply your misery; yielding will allow it to pass.\u00a0 This is one of the many manifestations of \u201csoft overcoming hard.\u201d<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/b>Reframe<\/b><\/p>\n

The sole cause of emotions is not external stimuli but internal stories we tell ourselves about these stimuli.*\u00a0 What story are you telling yourself that\u2019s causing this emotion?\u00a0 How might you reframe the story so that it brings you less pain?\u00a0 The key here is not to tell yourself a story that\u2019s necessarily true.\u00a0 Instead, it\u2019s about opening your mind to the possibility that your initial story might not be accurate.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/b>Perspective<\/b><\/p>\n

Is this issue going to be of any significance two hours from now?\u00a0 How about tomorrow?\u00a0 Or next month?\u00a0 When you\u2019re lying on your death bed, are you still going to be upset about whatever it is that\u2019s bothering you?\u00a0 Try to put your situation into perspective, and ask yourself if it\u2019s worth your stress and grief.<\/p>\n

Although I\u2019ve written these steps sequentially, they can be performed in any order you like, and revisited as many times as you\u2019d like.\u00a0 You could start with perspective, go to permission, then reframe, then realize you need more acceptance and go back to permission.<\/p>\n

What do you do to get your emotions under control?\u00a0 Have you ever tried any of the techniques I\u2019ve described here?\u00a0 Tell us about it in the comments section!<\/p>\n

*This point can be hard to swallow.\u00a0 For a much more in depth explanation, check out Tony Schwartz\u2019 book <\/i>Be Excellent at Anything<\/a> or Marshall Rosenberg\u2019s <\/i>Nonviolent Communication<\/a>.<\/p>\n

About Eric Couillard<\/b><\/p>\n

Eric is a personal development and mindfulness expert at Taiji Zen<\/a>, where he manages their blog<\/a> and helps develop course content.\u00a0 Taiji Zen is a health and wellness lifestyle company founded by Jet Li and Jack Ma.\u00a0 Before working at Taiji Zen, Eric was a personal growth course developer and facilitator at Google.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What do you do to get your emotions under control? Have you ever tried any of the techniques I\u2019ve described here? Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":25208,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[2162],"tags":[1743,911,66,4629,1837,2044],"yoast_head":"\nSoft Overcomes Hard: Control Your Emotions with Tai Chi - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What do you do to get your emotions under control? 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