{"id":24304,"date":"2014-02-21T01:24:42","date_gmt":"2014-02-21T09:24:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=24304"},"modified":"2014-02-21T01:24:42","modified_gmt":"2014-02-21T09:24:42","slug":"positive-thinking-sometimes-doesnt-work-can-change","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/positive-thinking-sometimes-doesnt-work-can-change\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Positive Thinking Sometimes Doesn\u2019t Work (And How You Can Change That)"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/p>\n

It\u2019s time we stopped deceiving ourselves with some of this positive thinking talk.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s just a lot of rehashed advice that when applied, just doesn\u2019t seem to work. I can\u2019t count the number of times I thought just saying positive affirmations alone would turn my whole life around.<\/p>\n

After sometime, I almost resolved that affirmations don\u2019t work; that they\u2019re useless. And that probably they only work for some set of people.<\/p>\n

And I bet you\u2019ve probably been there before…<\/p>\n

Your whole life, you\u2019ve been plagued by the thought of \u201cI can\u2019t do it\u201d, or \u201cthis good thing isn\u2019t just meant for me\u201d. There are just so many challenges in your life that you\u2019re almost at the verge of saying, \u201cI can\u2019t take this anymore\u201d.<\/p>\n

Then some guru comes up and tells you that all you need to do is say some positive affirmations to yourself and all will be well.<\/p>\n

Then you try it and what happens? You\u2019re back to where you were, if not worse.<\/p>\n

The thing is that while positive thinking is like a magic pill that solves negativity, you can\u2019t take it unless you know what you\u2019re fighting. It\u2019s the same thing that happens when a doctor prescribes drugs to you. He first needs to know what you\u2019re suffering from before you even get any drugs.<\/p>\n

And for this single reason, positive thinking may not work in your life unless you…<\/p>\n

1. Deal with the Foundation to Get Rid Of Negative Thoughts<\/b><\/h2>\n

Negative thoughts don\u2019t operate on their own. They\u2019re like secret agents with a command base from which they take directions from. What affirmations do is to deal with these secret agents. They probably shoot their heads off or just nuke them.<\/p>\n

But then what happens? The command base sends out more agents and you realize you\u2019re fighting a war for your entire life.<\/p>\n

And this is the reason why staying positive<\/a> takes a lot of effort when in the real sense, it\u2019s supposed to be as easy as asking a girl out on a date (not that that\u2019s easy either).<\/p>\n

But you get the gist, right?<\/p>\n

Negative thoughts only have one source- your beliefs.<\/p>\n

We adopt certain beliefs in our lives due to certain events or experiences we\u2019ve had in the past, most especially our childhood. And these beliefs can get so ingrained into our subconscious<\/a> that it\u2019s almost impossible to change them.<\/p>\n

For example, a past boyfriend of yours\u2019 dumps you and you automatically have the belief that, \u201cAll men are cheats and liars\u201d. I\u2019m neither disputing nor supporting this fact. But my point is that this belief then prevents you from really having any more quality intimate relationships in the future, even when the guy approaching you is sincere.<\/p>\n

Negative beliefs are the foundations of negative thoughts and one way to get rid of such is to either think rationally about them or have a positive experience that can change that belief.<\/p>\n

Take action:<\/b> Stop focusing on your thoughts for a moment and look into some beliefs that have hindered you up till now. Then simply ask yourself some rational questions such as, \u201cWhy do I have this belief?\u201d \u201cIs it a false conclusion or assumption of a possible outcome?\u201d By finding out the degree of invalidity of that belief, you\u2019ll be able to know if it\u2019s a fact or your mind is just playing tricks on you.<\/p>\n

<\/h1>\n

2. Develop Your Self Image to Open You Up To Positivity<\/b><\/h2>\n

Beliefs influence your Self image.<\/p>\n

For example, a kid who believes that Math is the hardest subject that ever existed would not see himself as someone who can pass the subject. And the result becomes consistent failure of the subject, until he changes his perspective of it and sees himself as someone who can excel in it.<\/p>\n

The same goes for a 90 year old lady who believes that automobiles are moving demons. Trust me, seeing herself drive such a demon is the last thing on her mind. I wonder how she\u2019ll get around in this century.<\/p>\n

Your Self image is a mirror reflection of your beliefs. And in transforming your Self image<\/a>, just changing your beliefs is not enough.<\/p>\n

You need to see yourself having a positive experience of that new positive belief; and afterwards, letting yourself know that you deserve<\/b> that positive experience. It is at this point that you open yourself up to the possibility of actually having positive thoughts in your life about that particular situation.<\/p>\n

Take action:<\/b> Once you realize that your beliefs were mere false conclusions about a particular event, change them to positive ones. Then let your Self image reflect those positive beliefs by believing that you deserve them. For example, if you\u2019ve developed a positive belief that \u201cyou can be successful regardless of your poor background\u201d, you then see yourself as someone who actually deserves that success.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

3. Use Positive Thinking and Affirmations to Seal the Deal<\/b><\/h2>\n

An affirmation is not just a mere bunch of words put together to make you feel better. However this is the notion that most people have. It is actually a confession of what you already have on your inside.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re full of negativity on the inside and you start to say some affirmations, you\u2019re only lying to yourself. But the moment you become all positive about your beliefs and self, your affirmations become confessions of certain truths<\/a>. This is when they become potent and work fast in your life.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve discovered that in all three steps above, the hardest is changing our beliefs. Why? This is because beliefs come from experiences and it\u2019s often hard to \u201cforget an experience\u201d.<\/p>\n

So, the best way is to actually have an experience of positivity that portrays that belief in a positive light; a positive experience that would be hard to forget. It\u2019ll become so ingrained in your mind that the negative belief you previously had about that situation would be gone for good.<\/p>\n

Positive thinking does work and it works wonders too. But if the foundation of negativity isn\u2019t dealt with through rationalization and experience, many things could go wrong. But that wouldn\u2019t happen to you, I\u2019m so sure of that :).<\/p>\n

Lanre Solarin was once extremely negative about life until he encountered positive experiences that changed everything. You can grab a free copy of his report- <\/i>Simple Steps to Positive Thinking<\/i><\/span><\/a><\/span>: How to Experience Positivity in the Simplest Way Possible and discover how to guarantee success in your life.<\/i><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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