{"id":23231,"date":"2013-12-17T21:53:56","date_gmt":"2013-12-18T05:53:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=23231"},"modified":"2016-09-05T13:19:13","modified_gmt":"2016-09-05T21:19:13","slug":"reframe-thoughts-change-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Reframe Your Thoughts – Change Your Life"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/p>\n

Studies show that people who can change their situation gain less from changing their mindset than those who have no control over their situation.<\/p>\n

If you have a loved one who has cancer \u2013 you have no control over that situation.\u00a0 Changing the way you think and your emotional reaction may help you cope with the stress.<\/p>\n

On the other side, if you have control over your situation reframing the situation to make it seem less negative makes you less inclined to change the situation.\u00a0 (Seems like common sense doesn\u2019t it?)<\/p>\n

After all it\u2019s really not that bad, it could be worse!<\/i><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s look at a specific example.\u00a0 Stuck in a job you hate?\u00a0 I was and the whole time I reframed the situation \u2013 It pays well. I get a ton of vacation days. I am good at what I do. I can\u2019t leave my co-workers, I like them. Starting over is too hard, I will just stop complaining. I am grateful to have a job .I get a week off at Christmas.<\/p>\n

When you make these types of statements you reframe a negative situation and turn it into a more palatable situation.\u00a0 You feel much better right?\u00a0 Problem is if it\u2019s a situation you have control over but hate, is re-framing it the best course of action?<\/p>\n

\u201cWell.\u201d You say. \u201cThat job of yours sure looks like a good deal to me.\u00a0 What are you complaining about<\/i>?\u201d<\/p>\n

To me it was soul-sucking, boring, zapped me of any creative spark I hoped to have while there and bled over onto all aspects of my life.\u00a0 That\u2019s what I was complaining about.<\/p>\n

The real kicker?\u00a0 All that reframing of a situation I hated, kept me in a situation I hated for far, far too long.\u00a0 I talked myself into believing it was all good.\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n

If you are going to change anything, you may have to change the situation you are in.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I can\u2019t do that. I can\u2019t quit my job or leave my spouse or move to Colorado or throw all my junk food away!\u201d<\/i>\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n

Perhaps not this minute \u2013 but what are some steps you can take to get there?<\/p>\n

Stop reframing the situations you have true control over.\u00a0 Start moving toward the places you want to be. Take some action.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Seek help if you need, from a therapist or life coach.\u00a0 Have a friend who tells you like it is? \u00a0Buy them coffee and have a chit-chat.<\/li>\n
  2. What do you really want to change? Having an honest conversation with yourself is vital.<\/li>\n
  3. Make a plan to move out of the bad situation.\u00a0 List all your resources, tangible and non-tangible. \u00a0How can you use these to find a new job, leave a toxic relationship, start your own business, or move somewhere sunny and warm?<\/li>\n
  4. Find a mentor.\u00a0 Someone who has made the changes you want to make.<\/li>\n
  5. Stop telling yourself all is well, if it isn\u2019t.\u00a0 Start telling yourself that you want, need and deserve better.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    I promise you, when you start implementing steps to make the changes you want, your whole world will open up to new ideas, people, situations, learning opportunities and this will only give you fuel for your change. Getting out of the same old same old rut you hate, provides you with a whole new world to explore.<\/p>\n

    Shelly is a personal development strategist and founder of The Rescue Yourself Project <\/a>helping women over 40 step into their unique selves so they can create a life they love! \u00a0A few years ago, she\u00a0found herself living a life that wasn’t of her making. Deciding that wasn’t what she wanted she ran away from home and spent eight months “re-branding” herself. Today Shelly helps women find their unique selves by becoming experts about their values, strengths, passions, goals and purpose so they can design a life they love. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Studies show that people who can change their situation, gain less from changing their mindset, then those who have no control over their situation. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":646,"featured_media":23367,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[205,6],"tags":[3463,485,66,207,4629],"yoast_head":"\nReframe Your Thoughts - Change Your Life - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Studies show that people who can change their situation, gain less from changing their mindset, then those who have no control over their situation.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Reframe Your Thoughts - Change Your Life - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Studies show that people who can change their situation, gain less from changing their mindset, then those who have no control over their situation.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-12-18T05:53:56+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-09-05T21:19:13+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/reframe-your-thoughts.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"499\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"422\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Shelly Drymon\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/reframe-your-thoughts.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/reframe-your-thoughts.png\",\"width\":499,\"height\":422,\"caption\":\"self esteem\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/\",\"name\":\"Reframe Your Thoughts - Change Your Life - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2013-12-18T05:53:56+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-09-05T21:19:13+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/7115120335ae71399aabaa920d192efd\"},\"description\":\"Studies show that people who can change their situation, gain less from changing their mindset, then those who have no control over their situation.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Reframe Your Thoughts – Change Your Life\"}]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/7115120335ae71399aabaa920d192efd\",\"name\":\"Shelly Drymon\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/dfa8335f54127a137cd4132e367c04a4?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/dfa8335f54127a137cd4132e367c04a4?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Shelly Drymon\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/author\/sdrymon\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Reframe Your Thoughts - Change Your Life - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","description":"Studies show that people who can change their situation, gain less from changing their mindset, then those who have no control over their situation.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Reframe Your Thoughts - Change Your Life - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","og_description":"Studies show that people who can change their situation, gain less from changing their mindset, then those who have no control over their situation.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/","og_site_name":"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","article_publisher":"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pickthebrain","article_published_time":"2013-12-18T05:53:56+00:00","article_modified_time":"2016-09-05T21:19:13+00:00","og_image":[{"width":499,"height":422,"url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/reframe-your-thoughts.png","type":"image\/png"}],"twitter_card":"summary","twitter_creator":"@pickthebrain","twitter_site":"@pickthebrain","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Shelly Drymon","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/","name":"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/reframe-your-thoughts.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/reframe-your-thoughts.png","width":499,"height":422,"caption":"self esteem"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/#webpage","url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/","name":"Reframe Your Thoughts - Change Your Life - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/#primaryimage"},"datePublished":"2013-12-18T05:53:56+00:00","dateModified":"2016-09-05T21:19:13+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/7115120335ae71399aabaa920d192efd"},"description":"Studies show that people who can change their situation, gain less from changing their mindset, then those who have no control over their situation.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/reframe-thoughts-change-life\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Reframe Your Thoughts – Change Your Life"}]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/7115120335ae71399aabaa920d192efd","name":"Shelly Drymon","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/dfa8335f54127a137cd4132e367c04a4?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/dfa8335f54127a137cd4132e367c04a4?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Shelly Drymon"},"url":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/author\/sdrymon\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23231"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/646"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=23231"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/23231\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/23367"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=23231"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=23231"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=23231"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}