{"id":23212,"date":"2013-12-05T21:35:39","date_gmt":"2013-12-06T05:35:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=23212"},"modified":"2013-12-08T22:09:17","modified_gmt":"2013-12-09T06:09:17","slug":"5-thoughts-struggling-depression-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-thoughts-struggling-depression-life\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Thoughts For Those Struggling With Depression (Or Life)"},"content":{"rendered":"
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There is an old quote attributed to the writer Henry James where he tells his nephew Willie, \u201cThere are three important things in human life.\u00a0 The first is to be kind.\u00a0 The second, is to be kind.\u00a0 The third, is to be kind.\u201d \u00a0 When I first read James words, they resonated with me perhaps as they do with you, since there are few things more powerful than kindness in our world, and definitely few things more needed, especially for us as individuals.<\/p>\n

If we are honest, kindness does not always come easy.\u00a0 While we may offer it to others, it often is far more difficult to extend to ourselves.\u00a0 This seems especially true when we find ourselves struggling with something like depression.\u00a0 Depression sucks. While that is not the most clinical statement, it is true.\u00a0 It sucks joy and color out of our days, our work, our relationships, our life, leaving in its place something painful and confusing, even shameful and isolating.<\/p>\n

Depression and other mental health issues are surrounded by mystery, stigma, and shame, often leaving us trying desperately to understand what is happening to us and why we feel the way we do.\u00a0 The shame and confusion keep us from asking for help, so we make efforts to suck it up, get it together, or to push through as though we are not really depressed.\u00a0 Perhaps we even try and talk ourselves out of it, attempting to convince ourselves that there are people worse off in the world, that we have nothing to be depressed about and that we should focus on being positive. \u00a0 Don\u2019t get me wrong, positivity and gratitude are great things, but this rarely works because depression is a medical condition and not just a bad mood we can snap out of.\u00a0 Trying to talk ourselves out of it would be the same as trying to run a marathon on a broken leg.\u00a0 We may tell ourselves that our leg isn\u2019t that bad, that we should be grateful that we have another good leg, that things could be way worse and that we should be thankful.\u00a0 Still, we would be in pain, unable to run as we wish we could.\u00a0 If we ignore the fact that our leg is broken and continue running, it is not going to magically get better.\u00a0 If we are telling ourselves that our leg is fine, then we may even come to believe that we are just slower than everyone else around us.<\/p>\n

These types of responses to our own depression and struggles are far too common.\u00a0 While positivity and gratitude are vital components on the journey towards healing, if we ignore our own pain we are likely to not get the help we need and the road will be more difficult.\u00a0 This is the opposite of having kindness and compassion on ourselves.\u00a0 Since it is difficult to heal from struggles that we do not acknowledge are there, the first step towards recovery is facing the truth about what we are going through.\u00a0 Then we have the opportunity to begin to extend kindness towards ourselves and receive the help and healing that we need.<\/p>\n

In our efforts to move through depression, we do not need a drill sergeant to get our ass in gear.\u00a0 If Henry James was right and one of the most important things we can do is be kind, then we need to start with being kind and extending compassion to ourselves in the midst of depression and other struggles we may be going through.\u00a0 Here are a few practical ways to give it a shot:<\/p>\n

Be kind to your past<\/strong>.\u00a0 Sometimes our current pain connects back to old stuff like loss, abuse, trauma, or hurts from old relationships.\u00a0 In our confusion and efforts to push past the pain, we often gloss over the hurt without giving it time to heal.\u00a0 Give yourself some space to grieve the pain from the past without judging or beating up on yourself.<\/p>\n

Go easy on yourself now<\/strong>.\u00a0 Depression and struggles like it often build up over time, and they take time to work through.\u00a0 Easy and quick fixes sound good but rarely exist.\u00a0 Give yourself permission to not have to be better immediately and for recovery to take a little while.<\/p>\n

Seek comfort<\/strong>.\u00a0 A great way to be kind is to ask what healthy activities or places bring you comfort and make those a part of your day.\u00a0 Perhaps it\u2019s music, yoga, a sport, something else you enjoy.\u00a0 These are often things we start to neglect when suffering with depression.\u00a0 Caring for yourself, whether mind, body, or spirit is a great way to extend kindness.<\/p>\n

Find support<\/strong>.\u00a0 One of the things depression does most powerfully is isolate us from others.\u00a0 Even if we are spending time with people, depression can make it feel difficult to connect.\u00a0 Find a few friends or family that you can talk to and share what you are going through.\u00a0 Pastors and teachers can be good options as well.\u00a0 Resist the temptation to push through it alone.\u00a0 Find people who you feel comfortable sharing the good, bad, and the ugly with.\u00a0 We are all built to need other people, especially when we are struggling.<\/p>\n

Find help.\u00a0<\/strong> See a counselor or talk to your doctor.\u00a0 Having family and friends as a support system is powerful, but having professional help towards recovery is vital as well.\u00a0 Depression is a real medical condition, and counselors and physicians are trained to help you in treating it.<\/p>\n

Obviously we could add so many more options of ways to care for ourselves in the midst of depression.\u00a0 With whatever steps we take, being kind is a great foundation to have, especially starting with kindness towards ourselves.\u00a0 When we can begin there, it will be much easier to receive kindness from others, as well as extend it to them.<\/p>\n

Aaron Moore is part of TWLOHA’s MOVE conference team and is also the founder of Solace Counseling <\/a>in Orlando, Fl. More on him can be found at the webpage below:\u00a0http:\/\/twloha.com\/move-conference<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

TWLOHA Events Page: http:\/\/twloha.com\/events<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

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Depression sucks. While that is not the most clinical statement, it is true. It sucks joy and color out of our days, our work, our relationships, our life, leaving in its place something painful and confusing, even shameful and isolating. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":23214,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[33,6],"tags":[4642,4641,51,4631,66,498,4629],"yoast_head":"\n5 Thoughts For Those Struggling With Depression (Or Life) - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Depression sucks. While that is not the most clinical statement, it is true. 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