{"id":1983,"date":"2010-03-24T21:29:04","date_gmt":"2010-03-25T05:29:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=1983"},"modified":"2013-10-09T10:30:01","modified_gmt":"2013-10-09T18:30:01","slug":"5-best-practices-to-overcome-social-anxiety","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/5-best-practices-to-overcome-social-anxiety\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Best Practices To Overcome Social Anxiety"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Does Social Anxiety Keep You from Fully Enjoying Life?<\/h1>\n

Sharon would later cheerfully admit that she had been dreading meeting me; but for now, it was still a sickening nightmare.<\/p>\n

Social anxiety is more than just shyness. Just thinking <\/em>about meeting or mingling with others can cause a pounding heart, shaky voice, rapid breathing, sweating, blushing, an upset stomach\u2026 It’s no wonder it sometimes feels easier to avoid other people completely.<\/p>\n

For Sharon, even seeing people she\u2019d met many times before \u2013 such as family, friends, and colleagues \u2013 felt like an ordeal imagined by the Spanish Inquisition. Actually, it was curious:<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m okay in a work context or when things are a bit more formal. I know what to talk about. But as soon as it\u2019s kind of unorganized \u2013 you know, just mixing with other people \u2013 I go to pieces. It\u2019s like I need a well-defined focus or I panic!\u201d<\/p>\n

Social anxiety spoils life by getting in the way of what should be fun opportunities to connect with others. Crippling self-consciousness, nervousness, not knowing what to say: all add to the unpleasant mix.<\/p>\n

Yes, most people get a little self-conscious at times or feel somewhat shy around others, but social anxiety significantly worsens the quality of life. When you become more confident socially, you open the door to so much \u2013 new job opportunities, new friendships, and, of course, more fun.<\/p>\n

How do <\/em><\/strong>I get rid of social anxiety? <\/strong><\/p>\n

It will come as no surprise that the key is in learning to relax in social situations. When you feel calmer socially, thoughts like: \u201cWhat do I say next?\u201d disappear. You go into flow and allow conversation to take its own<\/em> natural path, without feeling you have to force it.<\/p>\n

And that horrible feeling of \u2019all eyes on me\u2018 fades as it starts to feel much less important if others are focusing on you or not.<\/p>\n

The following tips for social confidence will help you feel more relaxed when out with others and allow you to begin your journey from being socially anxious to being the confident person you really can be.<\/p>\n

1) Practice being relaxed<\/h3>\n

Not many people think of worrying as self-programming, but it is. When you worry intensely about upcoming social situations, you are repeatedly linking anxiety to the events. Then when you actually go into the social situation itself, you feel anxious \u2013 you\u2019ve programmed<\/em> yourself to feel this way.<\/p>\n

You can start to change this response by taking time to think about the future gathering whilst relaxed \u2013 maybe when sitting in a comfortable chair or relaxing in a warm bath. Imagine seeing yourself at the social event, looking relaxed and confident. Do this repeatedly and your body and mind will forge a new and better automatic association to these times.<\/p>\n

2) Seek out social situations<\/h3>\n

Imagine living in a house for thirty years, but always avoiding one room. When you finally ventured into the mysterious room, you might feel a little tense and anxious. Why?<\/p>\n

The more we avoid something, the more we send the message to the unconscious mind: \u201cI am avoiding this because it is dangerous.\u201d Your mind, trying to be helpful, builds up the fear of what it is you\u2019re avoiding even more. In nature, we avoid a clump of trees because it might have lions in it or we avoid cliff edges because falling off means death.<\/p>\n

We avoid what frightens us and, in return, are frightened by what we avoid. So start actively putting yourself in social situations. In fact, even imagining doing this, as well as doing it for real will help show your unconscious mind: \u201cThis is normal.\u201d (See Tip 1)<\/p>\n

3) Focus your attention outward<\/h3>\n

Studies have found that people who rate themselves as shy in social settings have much worse recall for external environmental details because they\u2019ve been looking inward (focusing on their feelings), not outward. So it makes sense to focus outward to lower anxiety. <\/em>When in social settings, make a mental note of three aspects of the situation you\u2019re in.<\/p>\n

For example:<\/p>\n