{"id":1619,"date":"2010-02-08T10:03:31","date_gmt":"2010-02-08T18:03:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=1619"},"modified":"2013-09-27T12:21:51","modified_gmt":"2013-09-27T20:21:51","slug":"how-to-stop-waiting-for-permission","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/how-to-stop-waiting-for-permission\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Stop Waiting for Permission"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p><a href=\"http:\/\/farm3.static.flickr.com\/2159\/2106656159_8d386d5b22_o.jpg\"><\/a><\/p>\n<p>When you were a child, you often had to wait for permission to do something. Perhaps you needed to be a certain age before you were allowed to use the oven or cross the road by yourself. Maybe you needed to ask mom before you got a snack. Even as a teen, you had to stick to rules: curfew, acceptable music volume, homework&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Once you\u2019re eighteen, you\u2019re free to do what you want (within the bounds of legality). So why do we get stuck waiting for permission?<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019ll know what I mean, even if you\u2019ve never consciously acknowledged it. Maybe:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You\u2019re waiting for someone to say that you\u2019re good enough before you\u2019ll allow yourself to paint\/write\/sing\/act<\/li>\n<li>You won\u2019t take that course or qualification until you\u2019re \u201cready\u201d<\/li>\n<li>There are some things you\u2019d <em>love<\/em> to try \u2013 but you\u2019re worried what your mom would say<\/li>\n<li>You\u2019re afraid to be yourself; you always follow the crowd<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>So often, the only person who needs to say \u201cyes\u201d is &#8230; you. Here\u2019s how:<!--more--><\/p>\n<h2>Step 1: Put Yourself In Control<\/h2>\n<p>It\u2019s tempting to blame our problems on other people. <strong>It\u2019s easy to make excuses for not taking the steps we want to in our lives.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>You keep your boring, safe job because quitting would shock your parents. You never branch out and buy different clothes because you wouldn\u2019t fit in with your friends any more. You and your partner want to emigrate, but you know your grandparents will be upset if you move away.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m not saying that your decisions are <em>easy<\/em>, but you do need to make yourself responsible for taking them. That means:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Stop making excuses like \u201cmy mom wouldn\u2019t like it if&#8230;\u201d or \u201cmy friends would laugh at me\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Start admitting what <em>you<\/em> want \u2013 even if you\u2019re still convinced you can\u2019t have it. Tell someone you trust or write it down in secret.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Step 2: Get Real About Barriers to Entry<\/h2>\n<p><strong>When we\u2019re stuck waiting for permission (from ourselves), it\u2019s often because we think we\u2019re not good enough.<\/strong> Maybe you\u2019d <em>love<\/em> to learn to paint or act or write, but you\u2019re scared to take a course because you\u2019re a beginner.<\/p>\n<p>In <em>Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain<\/em>, Betty Edwards writes:<\/p>\n<p>Often, in fact, people even feel that they shouldn\u2019t take a drawing course because they don\u2019t know already how to draw. This is like deciding that you shouldn\u2019t take a French class because you don\u2019t already speak French, or that you shouldn\u2019t sign up for a course in carpentry because you don\u2019t know how to build a house.<\/p>\n<p><em>Everyone<\/em> starts as a beginner. Of course some of us have more innate talent than others, but you can almost certainly improve with teaching and practice.<\/p>\n<p>Is there <em>really<\/em> anything stopping you applying for that course? Booking a place at that seminar? Applying for that job? Often, the skills and qualifications you\u2019ve got are enough \u2013 you\u2019re just selling yourself short.<\/p>\n<h2>Step 3: Figure out a First Step<\/h2>\n<p><strong>Sometimes, we\u2019re not just waiting for permission \u2013 we\u2019re also waiting for someone to tell us how to begin.<\/strong> Just like when we were children, we\u2019re expecting mom or dad or a friend to say \u201cstart here\u201d. Unfortunately, you need to figure out your own first steps.<\/p>\n<p>If you\u2019d love to be a writer, stop waiting for the world to give you permission. Figure out what you need to do to get started (maybe write a short story \u2013 or send out something to a competition) and get going.<\/p>\n<p>First steps aren\u2019t necessarily easy. You might try and fail. (But that didn\u2019t stop you when you were learning to walk, did it?) You might be afraid that people will laugh, scoff, or even be angry if you take a new direction. Often, you\u2019ll be surprised how supportive the friends and family close to you are \u2013 if they really don\u2019t get it, try joining a group, club or association of like-minded people who can encourage you.<\/p>\n<p><em>Are you waiting for permission to get started on something you\u2019ve dreamt about? Why? Who\u2019s stopping you?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t Forget To Follow PickTheBrain on <a href=\"http:\/\/twitter.com\/pickthebrain\">Twitter<\/a>!<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Related Articles:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/smarter-time-management\/\">A Smarter Approach To Time Management<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/strategies-for-breaking-bad-habits-and-cultivating-good-ones\/\">Tips For Breaking Bad Habits and Developing Good Habits<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When you were a child, you often had to wait for permission to do something. Perhaps you needed to be a certain age before you were allowed to use the oven or cross the road by yourself. Maybe you needed to ask mom before you got a snack. Even as a teen, you had to stick to rules: curfew, acceptable music volume, homework&#8230; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/how-to-stop-waiting-for-permission\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":12858,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[6],"tags":[59,4631,276,66,4629,4640],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Stop Waiting for Permission<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When you were a child, you often had to wait for permission to do something. Perhaps you needed to be a certain age before you were allowed to use the oven or cross the road by yourself. Maybe you needed to ask mom before you got a snack. Even as a teen, you had to stick to rules: curfew, acceptable music volume, homework... Once you\u2019re eighteen, you\u2019re free to do what you want (within the bounds of legality). So why do we get stuck waiting for permission?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/how-to-stop-waiting-for-permission\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Stop Waiting for Permission\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When you were a child, you often had to wait for permission to do something. Perhaps you needed to be a certain age before you were allowed to use the oven or cross the road by yourself. Maybe you needed to ask mom before you got a snack. Even as a teen, you had to stick to rules: curfew, acceptable music volume, homework... Once you\u2019re eighteen, you\u2019re free to do what you want (within the bounds of legality). So why do we get stuck waiting for permission?\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/how-to-stop-waiting-for-permission\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"http:\/\/www.facebook.com\/pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-02-08T18:03:31+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-09-27T20:21:51+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/2106656159_8d386d5b22_o1.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"500\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"372\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@pickthebrain\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Erin Falconer\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/\",\"name\":\"Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/how-to-stop-waiting-for-permission\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/2106656159_8d386d5b22_o1.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/03\/2106656159_8d386d5b22_o1.jpg\",\"width\":500,\"height\":372,\"caption\":\"Stop Waiting for Permission\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/how-to-stop-waiting-for-permission\/#webpage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/how-to-stop-waiting-for-permission\/\",\"name\":\"How to Stop Waiting for Permission\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/how-to-stop-waiting-for-permission\/#primaryimage\"},\"datePublished\":\"2010-02-08T18:03:31+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-09-27T20:21:51+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/#\/schema\/person\/2da8ae162c097bdb749ab098472b4cc5\"},\"description\":\"When you were a child, you often had to wait for permission to do something. 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