{"id":15091,"date":"2013-08-04T21:52:05","date_gmt":"2013-08-05T05:52:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=15091"},"modified":"2013-08-04T21:52:05","modified_gmt":"2013-08-05T05:52:05","slug":"the-one-thing-holding-you-back-in-life-and-how-to-overcome-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/the-one-thing-holding-you-back-in-life-and-how-to-overcome-it\/","title":{"rendered":"The One Thing Holding You Back In Life (And How to Overcome it)"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/p>\n

\u201cThe secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

-Thucydides<\/p>\n

Lisa was dazed and confused. Totally lost in life, she was feeling like she was in a life she hadn\u2019t chosen, feeling listless and trying to figure out why she didn\u2019t feel like herself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

She told me about how messed up her current life was, and how nothing felt right.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy marriage feels like I just fell into it.\u00a0 It just\u2026 kind of happened. I don\u2019t know how. I was just told that I should be married before 30, so once I hit 30 I kind of panicked and married the guy I was with. In retrospect that probably wasn\u2019t the best choice.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMy work is a chore. My parents were immigrants that raised me to work hard and pay the bills. That\u2019s what work was for, right?\u00a0 So I\u2019m stuck in a job I absolutely cannot stand, except I don\u2019t really see a way out. I picked a job for the money, and now with three kids I can\u2019t exactly ditch it just to go \u201cfind my passion.\u201d\u00a0 I did what I was supposed to do, so how come it\u2019s backfiring?\u201d<\/p>\n

And finally, she told me about her overall personal life:<\/p>\n

\u201cHonestly? It feels like I\u2019ve created someone else\u2019s perfect life\u2026 but not mine.\u00a0 In fact, I feel like it\u2019s all a dream. It doesn\u2019t feel like me. It feels like I just \u2018woke up\u2019 and this life was here, husband, kids, job and all. And I feel out of place\u2026 it feels weird. This isn\u2019t the life I wanted for myself, but how can I change?<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Lisa\u2019s \u2018problem\u2019 is an incredibly common one today: It\u2019s what happens when we spend our entire lives doing what we intellectually \u201cshould\u201d be doing, rather than doing what we intuitively want to be doing.<\/p>\n

So many of us feel dazed, lost and confused because we spend our entire lives trying to create this image of who we should be\u2026 without ever considering who we really want to be.<\/p>\n

Think about it: many things we do in life are often the result of shoulds rather than wants \u2013 we make our decisions based on what others are doing, or what others are expecting of us.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s often an unconscious assumption.<\/p>\n

Just look at work.<\/p>\n

What happens when we\u2019re confused about what work path to follow? We usually look to the people around us.\u00a0 We get the \u201csafe, secure job.\u201d\u00a0 We do what our parents told us we should do. Or we just do what everyone else is doing.<\/p>\n

What happens when we\u2019re confused about relationships? Lisa told me how she reached 30 and didn\u2019t know what to do next in her relationship\u2026 so she just did what everyone else told her she should do \u2013 get married and have kids.\u00a0 She looked around at her friends \u2013 they were all married and had kids, so she just assumed that\u2019s what people do.<\/p>\n

When I spoke with Lisa, I asked her one question that was the real bombshell:<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, what do you want?\u201d<\/p>\n

That question was so unusual to her that she didn\u2019t even know how to respond, and she wasn\u2019t quite sure what to say.<\/p>\n

So much of her life was formed around ignoring her intuition and just doing what she thought she should be doing. No wonder it was such a tough question to answer.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re struggling to find meaning in life and you\u2019re feeling that you woke up in a life that\u2019s not yours, let me suggest something simple that changed my life:<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t have to live your life the way everyone else does.<\/p>\n

What do you actually want?<\/p>\n

Sometimes it\u2019s not an easy question to ask.<\/p>\n

But just think back for a moment:<\/p>\n

Is your work something you consciously chose, or did you fall into it based on your college major, something a friend or parent suggested, or just based on the income it would provide?
\nIs your leisure time filled with things you have consciously chosen that interest you?<\/p>\n

And your overall life: Does it feel like a piece of art that you have careful and deliberately crafted, or does it feel like something that just kind of fell together \u2013 like paint splattered on a canvas?<\/p>\n

What do you actually want?<\/p>\n

When you start to consciously assemble your life, it feels like it\u2019s yours, and not just some accident.<\/p>\n

****<\/p>\n

What About You?<\/h2>\n

Whether you\u2019re in a transitional period, feeling lost in life or stuck struggling to find your purpose; rather than trying to do what you think you should be doing, intuitively what do you know you must do?<\/p>\n

Deep down, what is it that you really<\/em> want to do?<\/p>\n

**<\/p>\n

Alexander runs Modern Health Monk<\/strong><\/a>, a site that shows you how to reverse health problems caused by 21st century life. Check out his free<\/strong> weight loss crash course<\/strong><\/a>, or his free courses on fixing lower back pain and chronic health issues<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s what happens when we spend our entire lives doing what we intellectually \u201cshould\u201d be doing, rather than doing what we intuitively want to be doing. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":15110,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[6],"tags":[2269,1986,4653,4641,4639,4629,4640],"yoast_head":"\nThe One Thing Holding You Back In Life (And How to Overcome it)<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There is one belief holding you back in life, causing you to feel lost and stifling your potential. 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