{"id":14543,"date":"2013-06-27T22:20:46","date_gmt":"2013-06-28T06:20:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=14543"},"modified":"2016-09-05T13:20:38","modified_gmt":"2016-09-05T21:20:38","slug":"five-steps-to-living-a-fearless-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/five-steps-to-living-a-fearless-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Five Steps To Living A Fearless Life"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/p>\n

There is no quick fix or magic pill to move yourself forward from a fearful life to a fearless life.\u00a0 Fear is a powerful glue and you have been stuck for a long time.\u00a0 Getting free will be no easy task.<\/p>\n

I went from fearful to fearless the year I turned fifty.\u00a0 As I look back at the process I can identify five steps I took:\u00a0 Healing, Letting Go, Forgiving, Self-Determination and Opening Up.\u00a0 I now live a fearless life.\u00a0 I love without hesitation.\u00a0 I have started two businesses.\u00a0 I jump out of airplanes.\u00a0 I put myself out for the whole world to see. Gone is the notion that I am not good enough.<\/p>\n

Fear was the shadow that casts a doubt on all aspects of my life: Fear of loss, fear of being out of control, fear of pain and fear of ridicule.\u00a0<\/i>
\n<\/b><\/p>\n

Heal In Spite Of Your Pain<\/b><\/p>\n

Take your pain and turn it into purpose.\u00a0 I took the pain of a heartbreaking end to my second marriage and turned it into a purpose – writing.\u00a0 Through my writing I healed and I inspired others.<\/p>\n

The pain of loss can stop us dead in our tracks.\u00a0 Either we put a lock on our heart and refuse to love and live or we become bitter and controlling.\u00a0 Both paths are fear based.\u00a0 Turning your pain into purpose is one way to start the healing process.\u00a0 Make it a call for action.\u00a0 Make a difference \u2013 find a purpose.\u00a0<\/i>
\n<\/b><\/p>\n

Letting Go<\/b><\/p>\n

It was only after I let go of the bitterness and hate did I began to feel the freedom of living life.\u00a0 There has been so much pain in my life – beginning with my abusive father.\u00a0\u00a0 By holding on to hate you will not heal.\u00a0 If you do not heal you cannot let go of the past.\u00a0 You anger blinds you to the joy and pleasure of the present moment.\u00a0\u00a0<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

One technique I used to let go of the past was finding healthy activities to fill up my life.\u00a0 One item in particular was running.\u00a0 I found a beginners running program and slowly but surely made my way to running eight miles at a time!\u00a0 With all those endorphins from running my mind didn\u2019t want to stew and simmer in hatred and negativity.\u00a0\u00a0 In addition, I was busy focusing on something good, instead of the \u201cbad\u201d in my life.<\/p>\n

As I learned to fill my mind with healthy and positive thoughts I actually had a serious aversion to anything negative and unhealthy.\u00a0 <\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

Forgiveness<\/b><\/p>\n

Forgive yourself first.\u00a0 I was angry with myself for the damage I did to my body and my mind over the previous two years. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I righted the wrongs I had done to myself, by healing and letting go. \u00a0Once I forgave myself I was able to forgive those who had harmed me.<\/p>\n

Forgiveness does not mean allowing others to hurt you again or even having that person in your life. \u00a0There are many definitions of forgiveness.\u00a0 My favorite is from the author, Marianne Williamson.\u00a0 She says forgiveness is forgetting the bad and remembering the good.<\/p>\n

Once you begin the process of living a fearless life you will find the past wrongdoings of others no longer have a place in your daily life.\u00a0 They are there, in the background, but they are quiet.\u00a0 The behaviors of others have impacted you, but they do not define you.\u00a0 If you cannot allow room for forgiveness you will never heal and the transgressions of others will forever become your identity.<\/i>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0Self-Determination- Life On Your Own Terms<\/b><\/p>\n

When we are fearful we look to others to make our decisions. \u00a0What we do and how we live our lives is based on how we appear to others or what they make think.<\/p>\n

Healing, letting go and forgiveness allows you to control your destiny.\u00a0 You are in charge of your life and of your decisions.\u00a0 You can be responsible for your own happiness.<\/i><\/b>\u00a0 No longer are you controlled by the past or your pain.<\/p>\n

Opening Up<\/b><\/p>\n

Healing, letting go, forgiving and living life on our own terms allows you to open up your life and your heart to all the joy and love you could possibly want.\u00a0 \u00a0This is when it becomes easier, for it becomes the only way you can live life.\u00a0 I can no longer imagine being angry instead of happy. \u00a0I can no longer imagine being afraid instead of fearless.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>You have plenty of room for the good now and the pain of the past is no longer an issue.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/em>
\n<\/b><\/p>\n

Going through this process has made me stronger.\u00a0 I look out over the landscape and no longer see pain and darkness.\u00a0 \u00a0I have become confident in my life knowing I can take what life throws at me, keeping what is good for me.<\/p>\n

Be patient and love yourself through these times.\u00a0 You will succeed!<\/p>\n

Shelly is a personal development strategist and founder of The Rescue Yourself Project <\/a>helping women over 40 step into their unique selves so they can create a life they love! \u00a0A few years ago, she\u00a0found herself living a life that wasn’t of her making. Deciding that wasn’t what she wanted she ran away from home and spent eight months “re-branding” herself. Today Shelly helps women find their unique selves by becoming experts about their values, strengths, passions, goals and purpose so they can design a life they love. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There is no quick fix or magic pill to move yourself forward from a fearful life to a fearless life. Fear is a powerful glue and you have been stuck for a long time. Getting free will be no easy task. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":646,"featured_media":14561,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[205,6,1],"tags":[4653,82,4641,4652,4629,2236],"yoast_head":"\nFive Steps To Living A Fearless Life - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"There is no quick fix or magic pill to move yourself forward from a fearful life to a fearless life. Fear is a powerful glue and you have been stuck for a long time. 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