{"id":14452,"date":"2013-06-19T20:10:55","date_gmt":"2013-06-20T04:10:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=14452"},"modified":"2013-06-19T20:10:55","modified_gmt":"2013-06-20T04:10:55","slug":"what-if-i-told-you-theres-no-such-thing-as-failure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/what-if-i-told-you-theres-no-such-thing-as-failure\/","title":{"rendered":"What If I Told You There’s No Such Thing as Failure?"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

<\/p>\n

We live in a world in which we\u2019ve been taught that we\u2019re constantly being judged. \u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

From the moment we begin to understand language we\u2019re taught that our actions must be approved by those around us.\u00a0 Through school we\u2019re taught that we must perform at a certain level to earn passing grades.\u00a0 Coaches tell us if we lose games we\u2019re failures.\u00a0 Society teaches us that those who don\u2019t drive the right kind of car or live in the right part of town are unsuccessful.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m calling it! <\/b><\/p>\n

It\u2019s all a lie!<\/b><\/p>\n

The way we define success and failure are based from external perceptions rather than internal truths.<\/b><\/p>\n

I got married in 1999.\u00a0 I got divorced in 2006.\u00a0 I divorced for the sake and safety of my infant daughter.\u00a0 Her mother had a severe case of obsessive-compulsive disorder and anxiety.\u00a0 She could not care for our daughter.\u00a0 Whenever I tried to intervene and suggest therapy, a fight would ensue.\u00a0 After years of problems and months after my daughter was born, I had to make a decision.\u00a0 I had to protect my daughter.\u00a0 I filed for divorce.\u00a0 Although several people from my church saw the seriousness of the situation and applauded my courage for standing up for my daughter, some of those same people spoke of the length of one\u2019s marriage as a measurement of success or failure.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a flawed logic in this kind of thinking.\u00a0 Failure has nothing to do with the length of one\u2019s marriage.\u00a0 Failure has nothing to do with one\u2019s financial position or career.<\/p>\n

According to Webster\u2019s dictionary, failure is: a falling short, a weakening, a breakdown in operation.<\/i><\/b>\u00a0 I\u2019d argue, that based on this definition, failure should be taken out of our vocabulary.\u00a0 Here\u2019s why:<\/p>\n

Every race is not the same: <\/b>In life, we are constantly put in positions in which our outcomes are measured by comparison to some sort of perceived norm.\u00a0 But there are no absolute norms.\u00a0 There are as many different kinds of races as there are different kinds of people.\u00a0 Back in high school I could run a three-minute mile.\u00a0 But I couldn\u2019t play football.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t built for it.\u00a0 Does that make me a failure?\u00a0 No.\u00a0 Did I \u201cfall short?\u201d\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I was simply not made for that game.<\/p>\n

My marriage ended due to circumstances outside of my control.\u00a0 Mental illness and the safety of a child were contributing factors.\u00a0 Even if those factors did not exist, ending a marriage does not equal failure.\u00a0 Different individuals and combinations of individuals are not all able to run the same race in the same way.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re not all body builders: <\/b>Defining failure as \u201ca weakening\u201d presumes that we are all strong at the start.<\/p>\n

This is a weak argument.\u00a0 Would anyone leave an infant child to fend for itself and then expect the child to survive?\u00a0 Can we expect a 90-pound girl to lift the same amount of weight as a 250-pound man?\u00a0 No.\u00a0 So why do we expect that everyone is built to operate intellectually, emotionally, and socially on the same level?\u00a0 Why do we quickly judge a lost job or a broken relationship, or even a drug addiction as failure?\u00a0 Because that\u2019s what we\u2019ve been taught to believe.\u00a0 But we were taught wrong.\u00a0 Failure is not \u201ca weakening.\u201d\u00a0 We all have times in our lives when we are weak, and times when we are strong.\u00a0 Oftentimes, it\u2019s through our weaknesses that we find renewed strength.<\/b>\u00a0 How is that failure?<\/p>\n

People are not machines: <\/b>In my life, I\u2019ve worked on a few assembly lines.\u00a0 I remember once, an engine blew on a conveyer belt, and we were sent home from work early.\u00a0 The machine had failed and needed to be repaired.\u00a0 There was \u201ca breakdown in operation.\u201d\u00a0 A repairman was called and the conveyer was up and running the next morning.<\/p>\n

People are not built like machines.\u00a0 We can\u2019t be turned on and off with a button.\u00a0 A doctor can\u2019t just change a brain cylinder to make us work correctly when something is amiss.\u00a0 Would anyone claim that an individual born with a birth defect is a failure?\u00a0 No.\u00a0 Yet, \u201ca breakdown in operation,\u201d is essentially what leads to birth defects.\u00a0 There is some kind of problem in the system that led to the defect.\u00a0 That does not mean the result is a failure.\u00a0 It\u2019s still perfectly beautiful in its own way.<\/p>\n

Similarly, a marriage is not a one-size-fits-all relationship.\u00a0 There are different sets of variables, different parts that make the whole.\u00a0 If one part breaks down and the marriage ends, the individuals involved have not failed as long as they tried their best to make things work.<\/p>\n

So then… what is failure?\u00a0 I give up. \u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve written two books in the past two years.\u00a0 I\u2019ve barely sold over 100 copies.\u00a0 Some would call that failure.\u00a0 But I\u2019m not done yet.\u00a0 I\u2019m writing a third book.\u00a0 And I\u2019ll likely write a fourth, fifth, and beyond.\u00a0 I continue to hone my writing skills and find new ways to share my knowledge and experiences with others.<\/p>\n

From my point of view, there\u2019s only one definition of the word failure: \u201cI give up.\u201d\u00a0 The only failure is not trying to complete something you set out to do.\u00a0 Quitting.\u00a0 And even then, giving up, might not always lead to failure.\u00a0 I\u2019ve thrown 50-page starts of stories away.\u00a0 I simply gave up on the story.\u00a0 But a seed from within the trashed story was planted, leading to another, better story.<\/p>\n

Perhaps, failure doesn\u2019t exist.\u00a0 Maybe what we call failure is simply based on our perceived illusions of what we\u2019ve convinced ourselves we should be.<\/p>\n

So the next time you think you\u2019ve failed because you\u2019ve bombed a test, lost a job, given up on a project, or gone through a divorce.\u00a0 Stop.\u00a0 Think again.\u00a0 Move on. \u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Question: Are there situations and experiences in your life that you\u2019ve falsely labeled as failures?<\/b><\/p>\n

Today\u2019s post is a guest post by Dan Erickson.\u00a0 Dan was the child victim of an extreme cult.\u00a0 He lost his firstborn daughter to birth defects.\u00a0 His first marriage ended in divorce due to mental illness.\u00a0 Through all life\u2019s ups and downs, Dan has discovered that as long as we keep trying, we can never fail.\u00a0 Dan teaches communication courses at a small college in the Pacific Northwest.\u00a0 He writes songs, poetry, and novels.\u00a0 He\u2019s the author of A Train Called Forgiveness<\/b>, and At the Crossing of Justice and Mercy<\/b>, both based on realities of his own experiences in life.\u00a0 Learn more about Dan Erickson at http:\/\/www.danerickson.net<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We live in a world in which we\u2019ve been taught that we\u2019re constantly being judged. <\/p>\n

From the moment we begin to understand language we\u2019re taught that our actions must be approved by those around us. Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":14497,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[2162],"tags":[4653,2234,174,554,4629,4640],"yoast_head":"\nWhat If I Told You There's No Such Thing as Failure? - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What if everything we do leads to success and failure simply doesn't exist? 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