{"id":13566,"date":"2013-04-10T23:07:13","date_gmt":"2013-04-11T07:07:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/?p=13566"},"modified":"2013-04-10T23:07:13","modified_gmt":"2013-04-11T07:07:13","slug":"23-self-defeating-games-that-you-might-not-know-you-are-playing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/23-self-defeating-games-that-you-might-not-know-you-are-playing\/","title":{"rendered":"23 Self Defeating Games That You Might Not Know You Are Playing"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><div><\/div>\n<div>If you think you are beaten, you are<\/div>\n<div>If you think you dare not, you don&#8217;t,<\/div>\n<div>If you like to win, but you think you can&#8217;t<\/div>\n<div>It is almost certain you won&#8217;t.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>If you think you&#8217;ll lose, you&#8217;re lost<\/div>\n<div>For out of the world we find,<\/div>\n<div>Success begins with a fellow&#8217;s will<\/div>\n<div>It&#8217;s all in the state of mind.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>If you think you are outclassed, you are<\/div>\n<div>You&#8217;ve got to think high to rise,<\/div>\n<div>You&#8217;ve got to be sure of yourself before<\/div>\n<div>You can ever win a prize.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Life&#8217;s battles don&#8217;t always go<\/div>\n<div>To the stronger or faster man,<\/div>\n<div>But soon or late the man who wins<\/div>\n<div>Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!<\/div>\n<div>-Walter D. Winchell<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>This poem clearly defines the power of mindset and a positive mental attitude, our thoughts inevitably become our reality. Why is it then that we sometimes come up short in the good attitude department? Why do some people always win and other, seemingly as-well equipped, people struggle for results?<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Self defeating games play a huge role in undermining our mindset. I came across this list in my notes from a course I attended a few years back. As I read it, it became obvious there were some unconscious games at play in my world that were knocking me off track.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>As you read through this list, ask yourself this series of questions to hook the thinking part of your brain.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<ul>\n<li>What game did I play?<\/li>\n<li>What did I want? (Big Picture)<\/li>\n<li>What could I have done different? (Be accountable)<\/li>\n<li>Was it win-win or lose-lose?<\/li>\n<li>What did I lose?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<div>\u00a01. <b>Don\u2019t Participate:<\/b>\u00a0 We might do this for a number of reasons, but the result is always the same. We rob ourselves of rich experiences. A few of my most rewarding memories came out of activities, events or places that I didn\u2019t want to go or participate in.<\/div>\n<div>\u00a02. <b>I\u2019ll Show Them:<\/b>\u00a0 Spiteful behavior is always lose-lose. It is impossible to get ahead when you are hurting other people.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>3. <b>Criticizing:<\/b>\u00a0 Try to go for one week, one day or even one hour without criticizing and you will likely realize how big of a role this self defeating game is playing in your life.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>4. <b>Broken Agreements: <\/b>Draw a line down the middle of a piece of paper. On the left, write Broken Agreements and on the right side, write Kept Agreements. Under each write down as many words as you can that describe your feelings towards each statement. The Beginning of my list looked like this:<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<table cellspacing=\"0\" cellpadding=\"0\">\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td valign=\"middle\">\n<div><b>Broken Agreements<\/b><\/div>\n<\/td>\n<td valign=\"middle\">\n<div><b>Kept\u00a0 \u00a0 Agreements<\/b><\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td valign=\"middle\">\n<div>betrayed<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<td valign=\"middle\">\n<div>joy<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td valign=\"middle\">\n<div>rejected<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<td valign=\"middle\">\n<div>satisfaction<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td valign=\"middle\">\n<div>let down<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<td valign=\"middle\">\n<div>honor<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td valign=\"middle\">\n<div>hurt<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<td valign=\"middle\">\n<div>respect<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<div>\u00a05. <b>Controlling and Manipulative:<\/b>\u00a0 Sometimes we might operate in this manner under the disguise of a supervisory role or position, but don\u2019t kid yourself, it is a game. If your influence over another only contributes to your betterment it is wrong. Remember there can\u2019t be a win-lose.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>6. <b>Get Them Before They Get Me:<\/b>\u00a0 This is the same as #2, I\u2019ll show them. <i>\u201cIf malice or envy were tangible and had a shape, it would be in the shape of a boomerang.\u201d -Charley Reese<\/i><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>7. <b>Condemning:<\/b>\u00a0 Asking questions and gaining knowledge is a far more constructive activity. We seldom have all of the information required to pass judgement, doing so in my opinion becomes about the highest form of ignorance.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>8. <b>Arrogant:<\/b>\u00a0 When you start to see yourself as superior to others and act in that way, you should question the basis of every thought before putting it into word or action because you have become <b><i>delusional.<\/i><\/b><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>9. <b>Drugs &amp; Alcohol:<\/b>\u00a0 The best advice that I have ever heard on the topic of addiction is this; If you are unsure if you have a problem, you probably have a problem and should seek help.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>10. <b>See if I care:<\/b>\u00a0 As childish as it sounds, we can engage in this activity as adults. Take action against this immediately with this perspective. <i>No one may care how much I know but everyone will notice how much I care.<\/i><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>11. <b>Hide Behind Confusion:<\/b>\u00a0 My wife is constantly refereeing this game with my son. He pretends not to understand his homework with the hopes he will get out of having to do it. I guess I have done it too, but really we only hurt ourselves in the long run.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>12. <b>Act Angry &#8211; Start a Fight:<\/b>\u00a0 When I think of a fighting, I think of UFC or boxing. Clear win-lose right? That\u2019s a wrong, this is lose-lose. Anger quickly becomes emotion and adrenalin will always side with emotion. If you are successful engaging another person in your drama, the battle instantly becomes dumb vs. dumber.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>13. <b>I\u2019m Right:<\/b>\u00a0 If you have ever had a relationship with a person that always has to be right, you understand. These people are extremely difficult to deal with. When you catch yourself acting in this manner, take a step back and try to inspect the situation from the other persons point of view. Saying, <i>\u201cI can understand how you see it that way\u201d<\/i> can go a long way.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>\u00a014. <b>Overworking:<\/b>\u00a0 Despite the slew of health problems that come as a result of being overworked. It can also become a SDG when you start to use it as an excuse to miss other things in your life. I almost did myself yesterday. I am developing a new habit of walking at lunch time, I had myself persuaded that I needed to continue working and sacrifice my walk. I caught myself and decided against it, got the walk in and continued building a better habit.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>15. <b>Being Perfect:<\/b>\u00a0 Setting unattainable goals or too high of standards can easily undermine our self confidence. It is important to remain happy in your efforts even if they don\u2019t meet expectations.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>16. <b>Be A Problem:<\/b>\u00a0 Just look up the word problem in the dictionary. Would you ever want to be described as \u201cdifficult to train or guide; unruly: a problem child?\u201d<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>17. <b>Hide Behind Judgements:<\/b>\u00a0 Has this ever happened to you? I decided I didn\u2019t want to participate in a certain event because it was being organized by someone I had already decided I didn\u2019t like. Turned out, the judgements I had made about the person were incorrect, the event was amazing and I was the only one that lost out.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>18. <b>I\u2019m Not Good Enough:<\/b>\u00a0 This tape often starts playing in my head when I venture out of my comfort zone. I repeat this mantra to overcome it, <i>\u201cI have enough, I do enough, I am enough.\u201d<\/i><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>19. <b>Procrastination:<\/b>\u00a0 Wait for perfect timing and you will miss every opportunity in life. Instead listen to <b><i>Arthur Ashe &#8211; \u201cStart where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.\u201d<\/i><\/b> The hardest part of anything is the beginning, get over it.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>20. <b>Worrying:<\/b>\u00a0 I have spent the better part of the last year overcoming health challenges, the first month I worried. These were the results, stress, anxiety, insomnia, headache and stomach ache and several other <i>less positive<\/i> side affects. Worrying only puts your focus in the wrong direction.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>21. <b>Gossip:<\/b>\u00a0 Everyone knows what it means. I heard a rumor about someone the other day, my mind started to consider the implications of its truth and how it might affect me. I immediately put a stop to it by picking up the phone and calling him. Don\u2019t talk about people, talk to people.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>22. <b>Blaming:<\/b>\u00a0 There is an old saying that goes something like this; <i>When you point your finger at someone else there are always three fingers pointing back at you.<\/i><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>23. <b>Tell Lies:<\/b>\u00a0 I can only say one thing about lying. For me, the truth is always good enough.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Are self defeating games sabotaging your mindset and placing limits on the true and abundant potential of your life?<\/div>\n<div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><em>I am a family man living in Cochrane, AB Canada. I am a networker, small business owner and creator of\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/getbetterhq.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">GetBetterHQ.com<\/a>\u00a0&#8211; Do Something With LIfe Before Life Does Something With You. Please connect with me on Facebook at\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.getbetterhq.com\/facebook\" target=\"_blank\">www.GetBetterHQ.com\/<wbr \/>facebook<\/a>\u00a0or Twitter @GetBetterHQ or email:\u00a0<a href=\"mailto:teammartens@gmail.com\" target=\"_blank\">teammartens@gmail.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Self defeating games play a huge role in undermining our mindset. I came across this list in my notes from a course I attended a few years back. As I read it, it became obvious there were some unconscious games at play in my world that were knocking me off track. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.pickthebrain.com\/blog\/23-self-defeating-games-that-you-might-not-know-you-are-playing\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12163,"featured_media":13569,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[205,6],"tags":[4653,4631,66,2184,4629],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v19.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>23 Self Defeating Games That You Might Not Know You Are Playing - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Self defeating games play a huge role in undermining our mindset. 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